The Beast Finds a Home
by iheartShules
Summary: Three months have gone by and danger still lurked but so did their desire for each other. ::CAREESE:: Sequel to 'Beauty and the Beast'. Rated M because really it gets kind of smutty quickly LOL.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: Finally, here's the sequel to 'Beauty and the Beast'. This would have been posted sooner had me and my muse been on the same page. But we weren't and I reworked it so poor Elaine had to reproof chapters over again. So she deserves a huge shoutout for being such a good friend and ignoring my spastic tendencies because this story would be nothing without her.  
_**

**_There is a 3 month time jump. And you'll be seeing more of the other characters in this story than the previous one but they have A/U occupations._**

**_Disclaimer: I still don't own anything._**

* * *

_Three months later…_

Joss exited the precinct on her first day of work after her maternity leave and her extended personal leave to deal with the mess thanks to Paul and Elias. It was actually good to be back even though she missed her little man desperately. But he was with his grandmother. Getting back to work was also a nice distraction from her personal investigation into John's whereabouts.

Lionel, Szymanski, along with FBI Agent Donnelly was working on the murders of Carl Elias, Anthony Marconi, and Paul Carter. Joss's captain gave her a chilly warning that if she even caught wind that Joss was assisting with the investigation in any way that she'd be terminated on the spot. Captain Moreno was a fair but a tough woman, and, that's why Joss respected her so. And she knew that Moreno didn't want any means for the guilty party to get a 'get out of jail free' card by using a technicality. Thanks to the information that she received from Zoe about Alonzo Quinn being the head of HR; the criminal organization was in tatters with high ranking detectives being accused of being a member. Joss shook her head as she thought about Terney who she had never trusted but never figured him to be that crooked.

But the Captain needn't worry because she was far more interested in finding John than helping steer Donnelly into investigating Mark Snow. Not that it seemed to matter; Donnelly was a smart guy and had already deduced the murders to be done professionally, he figured the Russians would have made it theatrical to send a message to anyone else that tried to go up against them again. But there was no way to point them in the direction of Mark Snow without bringing up John's existence and he needed to remain a non-entity. She much preferred the murders going unsolved than John being found out to be alive by Donnelly. With the things John had done for their country, no doubt, he would be a wanted man.

During these last three months Mark Snow had been a general nuisance but his appearances had waned as days turned into weeks and then into months of absolutely no sightings of John. She recalled Snow's favorite tactic of using a blatant green work truck sitting in the residential community while he was surveilling her which was about as subtle as a nudist walking down Broadway Street. Joss didn't give Snow the time of day and went on pretending to be blissfully unaware of the scrutiny. After a while the obvious truck was gone and she breathed a sigh of relief. Not that she believed for a second that she was off his radar but she would bet her pension Mark Snow was looking for another lead to find John that was a tad bit warmer.

But as the time rolled on the more she missed John. After that phone call they shared she hadn't heard from or seen him since. It felt like the Grand Canyon had opened up in her heart, which made her suspect her feelings for John were far deeper than she wanted to admit. She had played them off at first, trying to lie to herself that she didn't know what she felt, that she was confusing pregnancy hormones with desire. But now, as all this time had passed, Joss had grown sick of the lies. She wanted John badly, dreamt of what his lovemaking would be like, but she also wanted something else from him that she wasn't sure he could give: him. She wanted him, all of him, including the pieces that he hid and didn't like.

She eyed her watch seeing that she had a few hours until she needed to go pick up her son, leaving her enough time to do things that needed to get done. Joss put the car in drive and drove to the martini bar. Shaw had been surprised by the request to meet up at a bar in the middle of the day but gladly agreed, though Joss had known she would as Shaw never said no to free drinks. Pulling into the parking lot and entering the bar quickly she moved to a table in the corner and waited for her tiny friend to arrive. Shaw loved to be fashionably late, just to make people wait around for her.

Ten minutes later and finally Shaw entered with a sour look on her face which wasn't any different from any other day. She slid into the chair across from her and immediately snapped her fingers for a waitress.

"Get the whole bottle of Grey Goose," she ordered with bite to her voice.

Joss merely arched a brow up once they were alone. "Bad day?" she asked Shaw.

"I had a stiff brought in and I was on hand when his wife came in to verify the body was indeed her husband, and she cried all over me," Shaw grumbled as she eyed her black short sleeve shirt with disgust. "I was afraid she got snot all over me. Fucking gold-digging cry baby, what did she expect was going to happen when he was ninety and she's in her mid-twenties?!"

Shaw was a pathologist with a lousy disposition and the charm of a wet-nap but she was the greatest friend a girl could have. Shaw snatched the bottle of Grey Goose from the waitress's tray. The woman harrumphed and walked away.

Shaw unsnapped the cap and gulped some down before slamming the bottle down with a look. "So what's up?—I never took you as a day drinker."

"I'm not. You are; that's why I asked to meet here," said Joss with a wry smile.

"You know me so well," Shaw responded with a smirk. "But its five o'clock somewhere right?"

Joss smiled a little. "Just don't drink too much you do have to drive home," she admonished.

Shaw rolled her eyes. "Yes, mom…" Shaw sniped.

Joss ignored her. "As to why I asked you here; I need a favor."

"What kind?"

"I need Root's number so I can hire her services." Joss admitted. Shaw's face never really changed as she had a perpetually pissed look residing on her pretty face. But this time she looked surprised.

"Hire…Root, for what?"

Joss pulled her blazer back and tugged out a photo and slid it on the table. "I need her to find dirt on this man, his name is Mark Snow. He's a CIA agent and believed to be the murderer of Paul Carter, Carl Elias, and Anthony Marconi."

Shaw eyed the photo and then looked at her. "You told me about him. I thought your fat partner was investigating him with the FBI," she murmured as she chugged back more of her Grey Goose.

"Fusco is, and while Donnelly agrees that their deaths were done by a professional, there is no way to prove it was Mark Snow. I also know that he is selling American classified secrets to the Chinese and that's where Root comes in; I need her to dig up dirt on him with any means necessary. I need her to get me something to get this guy and nothing flimsy either, I need it airtight because Snow is slippery." she said.

Shaw leaned forward. "All this for that guy you want to nail every which way to the sun?" she questioned. She smirked as Carter glared her way. "Hey, you were the one that told me you got horny just from his kisses," Shaw reminded, letting her voice get husky sounding, like she ran a marathon and an evil grin lit her usually stale face.

"I did not tell you any such thing."

"Your eyes told the real story," Shaw assured, making Joss's eyes roll in response. "Carter, everybody has someone that makes us into savage animals, helpless to the carnal lust coursing through our veins. Yours is your frog prince that saved your ass from shit scum; mine was Root. Fucking cunt just upped and left too, like your frog prince."

"You're changing the subject Shaw. Look, I'm not asking you to call her all I'm asking for is her number so I can hire her."

Shaw scoffed. "Root doesn't do pro-bono work Carter and you can't afford her prices on a cop's salary and you got a pooping machine back at home to support."

Joss knew this was going to be difficult. Shaw had a passionate two-week affair with the geeky hacker P.I. that used a computer term as her moniker. It was the only time in the five plus years of knowing Shaw that Shaw had the same woman or man, for more than a weekend. Joss hasn't pointed out how mopey Shaw seemed now that Root left or the fact that she hasn't found a man or woman to have meaningless sex with since. And Shaw abstaining from sex was new. If she ventured a guess Shaw fell hard but wasn't willing to admit it.

"I'll figure something out to get enough money to pay for Root's services. It's important to me, Shaw, so please give me the number." Joss muttered. It would have been much easier to ask Harold's help than for this elusive Root's but Root was a non-entity and had no ties whatsoever to John.

Shaw snarled her lips and then shook her head. "No, because I'll call the damn nerd I've been avoiding and give her Mark Snow's name and what you want done. I'm sure we can work out an agreement that doesn't require you mortgaging your house away. But you owe me big time for this!" Shaw stated sourly.

Joss frowned. Shaw claimed Root had upped and left like John, making it sound as though Root was through with their affair, but now it sounded more as though that wasn't the case as she was led to believe. Now it sounded as though Root left because she wanted more and wasn't going to settle for less.

"Thank you, Shaw, for being a good friend." Joss said softly deciding to not prod Shaw about her relationship with Root. Whenever her friend was ready to talk she would be there. Shaw shifted uncomfortably with the compliment. "Is a steak dinner and some free drinks payment enough?" Joss asked, knowing food was always a good distraction.

Shaw grinned. "Fuck yea it is, I'll call Root tonight after work and she'll get everything you need to know about Snow and then some you didn't."

"Thanks Shaw, I have to go now." she said as she stood.

"Where are you going?"

"To meet with someone that might know exactly where my frog prince is," Joss answered and with that left.

* * *

Joss carefully drove to their apartment complex, the same one John and she used to hide out from Elias and the bounty over her head, and made sure Snow hadn't tailed her. If there was anyone that John would have told where he was she was sure it would be Harold Finch. And Grace had texted her the other day that they were in town and perhaps they could meet up and see Taylor. Next time she'd bring her little man so they could meet who they helped protect but not on this occasion. Once satisfied that she saw no suit sticking out like a sore thumb she headed in smiling at the doorman who recognized her.

"Miss Joss, looking good!—Mr. Wren told me that you had the baby and it was a boy." the doorman, Eddie, said opening up the door for her.

She smiled at him. "Yep, he's an angel. I'll bring him by sometime so you can meet him," she offered the big teddy bear of a man.

"I'd like that!" he agreed with a warm smile as he held the door for her. Joss entered and walked to the elevator.

Once out she headed to the apartment she knew like the back of her hand and knocked. It took only a few moments before the door opened and Grace stood there along with her dog at her feet. Grace's pretty face lit up. "Joss!" she exclaimed as she pulled her into a warm hug.

"Hey, long time, no see," Joss murmured as she hugged the cheerful red head back before breaking apart to move into the apartment. Grace led her to the living room where Harold was seated, who smiled, and worked to move to stand for her. Joss waved him off and merely bent to give him a small hug too. "I wish I was here for pleasure but I'm actually here on business," she admitted.

Grace frowned as she sat down on the couch and the dog hopped up onto her lap. "Business?" she inquired.

Joss nodded but noticed that Harold didn't seem surprised at all. She turned her attention on him. "You know where he is, don't you? I need to find him," she stated as she stood towering over Harold.

Harold looked up and sighed. "I do know where he is but I promised that I wouldn't tell you, Jocelyn," he conceded.

Grace's look darkened as she looked between Joss and then Harold. "Wait a minute. Are we talking about John?—what's going on, Harold? The last time I asked about John you merely said he was fine. From the way Joss is speaking that he's missing again?"

Joss winced. Uh-oh, she might have gotten Harold in trouble with his wife but that wasn't her problem. She wasn't leaving until Harold spilled on his whereabouts. "I don't care about whatever promise you gave him, Harold, I need to find him. The only reason I haven't asked earlier is that I was still on maternity leave and needed to focus on my newborn. Now, I'm ready regardless if John is," she demanded as she folded her arms across her chest.

"I'm sorry, detective, I do not take my promises lightly and John saved my life."

"He saved mine too," she pointed out as she felt her patience waning. That had to count for something. And the more that John remained in the dark and out of the world, the more likely that darkness that loomed in him could overtake him. The fact that he hadn't yet let it was a victory for a battle, not the war.

Grace looked between her husband and Joss, knowing that if Harold didn't want to tell Joss then he wasn't going to. "I'm sorry, Joss, our loyalty is with John," she said softly, siding with her husband even though she didn't want to.

Joss eyed them both as anger bubbled up. "I'm trying to help him. He thinks hiding out is going to protect me from Snow. I can handle myself but John is just going to sink into that same dark place he was before I found him and I am not letting that happen," she blurted out bluntly, hoping the direct approach would work in this instance.

"I'm sorry I cannot help you," Harold whispered.

Joss angrily glared at the people she thought were John's friends. "Fine, I'll find him myself. But a word of advice: when your friends' make you promise to do something that hurts them…you're not really being a friend. Sometimes you have to stand up and know what's right and keeping quiet about his whereabouts isn't right. If I'm too late….it's on you." she stated angrily before turning and stormed for the door feeling the pressure of their stares.

Grace watched as Joss stormed out of their apartment fiery and explosive. She smiled in spite of being told she was a terrible friend and probably gained a new enemy. It seemed to her that the detective cared deeply for John, something that he needed.

Grace fixed her husband with a look. "Tell me where John is, Harold, and I won't be mad that you've kept it from me all this time," she requested.

"Grace…"

"I'm your wife. I love John too. He wouldn't be upset with you for telling your wife where he is now would he?" she pointed out, oh so sweetly. There were ways of circumventing promises.

Harold frowned. "But you will instantly tell the detective where he is. John was adamant about Joss not finding him because he's afraid of her being near him. He's trying to protect Joss."

"I don't care. Sometimes that man needs a good smack upside the head. And sometimes others need to think of what he needs. Now, Harold, tell me where he is," she repeated gently. "You know it's the right thing to do. I will take John's anger. It's obvious he cares about Joss. And she cares about him too."

Harold debated over whether admitting this or not was a good idea. "I think John has fallen in love with the detective even if he doesn't realize it himself."

Grace's eyes widened at the admission. "Harold, now you have to tell me where he is. John needs love! He's gone so long without it."

"He won't just welcome Joss with open arms, he'll push her away," Harold reasoned. "Joss will get upset."

"Do you think that woman will let him push her away? I don't think Joss does anything unless she wants to," Grace argued. "Please Harold; you're not breaking a promise if you tell me. He can't be mad at you if I tell Joss. Let him be mad at me, I don't really care if it works out in the long run."

Harold sat staring at his impassioned wife and smiled gently. He could never tell her 'no' to anything.

Joss stormed out of the apartment complex barely pasting on a smile for Eddie as she walked dejectedly to her car. Harold could help her find John but was refusing to out of loyalty. She was back to square one but she wasn't going to give up. Maybe she'd need to stake out Harold and Grace, and see if they lead her straight to John. Joss had taken the stairs to help burn off some anger but stopped dead in her tracks as she heard her name being called out. She turned and saw Grace rushing towards her. Joss stiffened.

"Look, I don't want to…" Joss began but Grace cut her off.

"Here," Grace said simply handing her a slip of paper. "I convinced Harold to tell me so I could give it to you. Harold still keeps his promise that he didn't tell you and John can't be mad that he told his wife. And I didn't make any such promise to John about not telling you so if he wants to be mad at anyone he can be mad at me. But I trust you with him," she explained with a smile.

Joss took the folded slip of paper and stared at Grace before hugging her. "Thank you," she whispered gratefully, her instincts on these people weren't wrong.

"He won't be happy to see you," she murmured in her ear. "In fact, I'm pretty sure he'll try to run you off."

"That's okay; I'll make him happy to see me," Joss reassured.

Grace laughed as she pulled out of the hug. "I knew you were perfect for John," she admitted. Joss's eyes widened. "Next time, bring that beautiful baby of yours," she requested, before turning to head back inside.

Joss watched the red head go, deciding to not focus on what she had said and opened up the folded slip of paper to eye the address and smirked. She turned to head for her car with renewed energy. She had a frog prince to go see.

* * *

Joss found the apartment complex on Baxter Street easily as it was right behind Columbus Park. She couldn't believe John was living so close to her! He was only ten to fifteen minutes away and the fact that he could so easily watch her from the shadows without her knowledge irritated her. As long as he could see her, it was fine, in his book. Well to hell with that. John was apartment 5A which was on the fifth floor of the high-rise apartment building. The doorman opened the door for her without greeting so it wasn't quite as upscale as Harold's place.

She took the elevator to the fifth floor and when the doors opened she scanned the hallway. The floor only had two apartments; John's and another one towards the end of the hall. Knowing that Harold had gotten John this apartment to hide out in she'd bet her pension that no one else was living on this floor. The name John was living under was John Warren. She headed for 5A and knocked as her heart rate sped up a bit. When no answer came she knocked again, this time, harder. Joss frowned when once again she received no answer.

"John," she called out as she pounded on the door. "If you think you can just ignore this door and I'll go away you better think again."

But when she received nothing but silence she had to seriously contemplate the fact that he might not be here. Joss swallowed the nerves that John had grown the urge to bolt and just left, or let the darkness that seemed to be etched in him consume him. Neither option sat well with her but especially the latter. Thinking she failed to save John from himself just wasn't an option; so either he left because he was antsy too, or he left but was coming back. It was that hope that made her look up and down the length of the hall making sure there weren't any cameras before tugging out her lock-pick.

It took all of five minutes to pick the lock of the apartment and let herself in. Evening was beginning to set and she had called to ask her mom to watch Taylor for a little while longer that a work issue came up. Her mama was ecstatic to dote on Taylor some more. She had been asking for a sleep-over since her son was practically born but she refused. Maybe sooner than later she might take her mother up on the offer. Joss closed the door and locked up after her. She whistled as she took a look around. There was a little sunlight drifting in through the many windows on the wall so she didn't need a light on just yet.

It was a studio apartment; it was huge, modern, and furnished, but empty of personal belongings. On the left side there was a king-sized bed that sat unmade, with a closet to the right of the bed, and to the left looked like a bathroom. Nearby was a desk that overlooked the windows, then a closet sat nearly in the middle that had what appeared to be a loft above it. Towards her right there was a dining room set up, the living room, another bathroom, and a gourmet kitchen. Joss walked around taking a mini tour of the place while she waited for him to come back. She headed straight for the closets and noted the one in the middle of the studio apartment held all the guns he stole from Anton. The other held his jeans and other clothes he had. If he left this stuff that might mean he planned on coming back.

She softly closed the door to the closet near the king-sized bed and turned to it. The pillow was laying haphazard and the comforter was near the foot of the bed. Before she could get blindsided by fantasies of John and her tearing the sheets up, there was a rattle near the door. Joss stepped away from the bed and rushed away, so not to let him think she was some creep that was sniffing his pillows or something. A key was inserted in the lock and she heard the tumbler go before the door opened.

John stopped dead in the threshold as he stood gaping at her that she felt a small amount of satisfaction that she just stunned him. "Hi John, missed me?"

* * *

AN: As far as how my updates will be on this story I am going to try (really hard) to have one or two updates a week. Sometimes I fail miserably, so I am going to thank you guys for bearing with me in advance. This story is kind of long.

Anyways, thank you for reading and deciding to come with me on this journey.


	2. Chapter 2

Why he was surprised she was here, he honestly didn't know. Joss never listened and he knew she was bound to figure out a way to make Harold speak. John stepped inside and closed the apartment door, locking it up tight. "I suppose you broke in," he murmured, sounding testy.

Joss rolled her eyes. "Spare me the attempt at a lecture. Coming from Mr. Illegal-Activity what I did was nothing compared to assaulting men and stealing weapons that were stolen in the first place," she grumbled. Joss thought she saw a twitch of his lips before he forced a scowl. "Did you really think I wouldn't come looking for you?—I told you I would. It just took me some time."

John frowned as he strode past her towards the kitchen and heard her following footsteps. She still smelled like Jasmin. She still looked naturally sexy and downright feminine. It annoyed him at how happy he felt seeing her again even though he warned her to stay away for her own good. His past was trying to catch up with him and he preferred this woman nowhere near him when it did.

"I guess Harold told you where I was," he said as he walked.

"No," she refuted honestly and he looked over his shoulder to her. "Grace did, after Harold told her, but don't be mad at them. They have your best interests at heart and so do I."

It made sense. Grace seemed to like Joss. He entered the kitchen and set the bag he was carrying on the kitchen island as she flipped on the light. "I got Chinese," he said shortly.

Joss smiled at the unspoken 'you can have some if you'd like' and she jumped at the chance since he wasn't kicking her out the door. She removed her pantsuit blazer and his eyes roamed over her. "Yea, I don't look like a bus anymore." she said, not unhappy with the appreciative and distinctly interested glance-over he gave her. It was nice to feel good again. It was nice to feel like she had a figure again. She worked hard on getting back to the weight she had been before Taylor. Right now, she was actually ten pounds lighter than before she got pregnant. But since he was looking her over she figured she would too. However, while he still looked sexy John was growing scruff and his hair was growing out a little as it was sitting against the collar of his shirt. She didn't want him slipping back into 'hobo John'.

"You never did," he grumbled as he turned his back on her and grabbed some plates. Joss was exactly as he figured she would be: all curves. Now she had a real woman's figure and felt a stirring of interest. He set two plates out and opened the fridge pulling out two bottles of beer. "You can drink now?"

"Yea, I'm not breastfeeding him," she admitted. Tons of studies were done over the pros of breastfeeding but she wasn't a breast-fed kid and she turned out okay. He held out the bottle of beer to her which she gratefully took, purposefully brushing their hands together liking the heated feeling that fluttered through her whenever they touched. "Thank you," she murmured. John had reminded her that she was very much a woman who had a lot of loving left in her, and was very much attracted to a man who had loving left in him even though he didn't seem to think so.

They sat down at the dining table out of the kitchen and quietly ate. It felt like they were back in the apartment hiding out from Elias. Comfortable silence blanketed them as they both were quietly happy to be back in each other's presence.

"The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache," Joss delivered her factoid with a smirk, breaking the silence.

John looked up from his meal and interest lit in his oceanic eyes. "Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump," he reciprocated.

"There's only one letter that doesn't appear in any of the United States' names. Do you know what it is?" she challenged.

"Q," he answered quickly. "You're born with 300 bones but by adulthood you will have only 206," he supplied back one of his own, showing his useless knowledge was a bottomless pit as much as hers was.

"Well, Coca-Cola was originally green," she stated and laughed as he made a face.

"Men can read smaller print than women," he announced.

She snorted. "Women can hear better than men," she murmured coyly. He smirked. "Don't make this into the battle of the sexes because men will go down in a blaze of glory." He laughed softly but held up his other hand, that wasn't holding his chopsticks, in silent surrender. She felt pleased and then softened, their eyes held each other's. "I've missed this," she admitted sincerely.

"Me too," he agreed quietly, before looking down again.

"Why didn't you reach out?" she wondered aloud. Joss had hoped after their phone call that he would just appear but he never did. Oh, she knew he was watching from the shadows and she would look but she never would find him. Either she wasn't that good at searching or he was that good at hiding.

"I couldn't. Snow is still out there; if I stayed away I hoped he'd think you meant nothing to me and leave you alone,'" John murmured.

"Do I?" she asked.

"Do you what?" he said, confused.

Joss set her chopsticks down and leaned forward. "Do I mean something to you?" she asked, digging for a personal response, and wasn't going to settle for anything less.

He looked away. "Yes," he said and scrapped the chair back as he hastily got to his feet.

"John, don't be afraid of caring," she whispered, as she climbed to her feet too. "I care too. I cared the moment we met on the subway."

"I haven't cared about anything in a long time, Joss," he admitted gruffly. "And why I think you should go, Joss, and not come back."

Yea right! "You don't want me to go, not really." Joss said softly.

"Because I do care is why I want you to leave and not come back. It's better for you to stay away."

Joss stood directly in front of him and turned up her face so she could stare up into his eyes. "Why can you fight for everyone except yourself, John?" she wondered. When he offered nothing but silence she added; "It would have been better for you to stay away from me when I had Elias and a bounty on my head. But you didn't. Instead you ran headlong into danger for me. It's my turn to return the favor."

"Joss…" he warned.

She smiled. "Don't worry; I've got a plan."

"Excuse me?"

"I've got people too, you know. I have a friend who knows a P.I. and she'll dig up dirt on Mark Snow, which I'll use to bring his ass to justice. Root doesn't use legal means which I'm sure you'd appreciate. She'll go through his personal computer, force-pair with his phone much like you did, rifle through his apartment, and follow him in the shadows. Root is very thorough it's why no one knows who she really is and why she goes by an alias," she explained simply. John's jaw dropped open and she grinned up at him. "And while I don't like using less than honest measures to get justice…for you, I'll make any exception. You saved me and my son; I'm going to save you."

"If he catches her…" he finally spoke but trailed off.

Joss interrupted; "He won't, like I said, Root is good at staying in the shadows."

He frowned. "Since you won't listen to me I need you to be careful. Snow is dangerous. He holds a lot of secrets and if he thinks they are in danger of being ousted he'll do whatever it takes to stop it."

Joss knew that. John was living proof of the lengths Snow would go to protect his dirty deeds. "I will," she promised. "Now I want a promise in return."

John's face didn't change but she knew she surprised him. She looked up into his gorgeous eyes glad to see them clear, but still painfully sad. "Promise me that you won't just pack up and leave now that I know where you are." she requested. John didn't speak and she knew the thought crossed his mind. "I want your word, John, men like you your word is your bond. So give me your word that you won't run on me now that I found you."

"I don't run," he snapped defensively.

Joss reached up rubbing his jaw roughened with a two days old beard growing. "Didn't I tell you that you are a truly lousy liar?—John, running from pain and your feelings is what you're good at. It's why you were going to end it all before you met me. Instead of facing your pain head on you ran from it and it ate away at you. Easier that way, am I right?" she murmured. John didn't respond but his eyes did; they widened a bit before they became shuddered once more.

"And what are you good at Joss?—driving people away so you can convince yourself that you can only rely on yourself."

Joss withdrew her hand from his face and eyed him realizing John wanted to push back because he was annoyed that she understood him maybe better than he understood himself. But she answered his question as though it was posed for reasons other than to get her to back off and said; "Maybe I do drive people away because I have trust issues. But I trust you."

John's intense gaze searched her eyes. "Do you believe people can change, Joss?" he asked quietly.

Joss realized her answer was pivotal. She nodded her head. "Yes, I believe people can change. I've seen it many times; I've seen many people change for the worse and others for the better."

He was quiet for several moments, chewing over what she said, before softly replying; "I won't leave."

"Thank you, but you might want to rethink the beard. Mark will know what you look like beard or no beard." she pointed out.

He touched his face. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," she answered realizing he wasn't slipping into hobo John but rather seemed to like the beard. When he stared at her apparently waiting for a response she sighed. "I like your face clean shaven is all." Joss looked at her watch and saw she needed to get going to pick her son up. She looked up into his eyes. "I have to go get my son but I'll be back. I swear it."

"Stay away," he suggested instead.

She thinned her lips and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and tugged him to her, raising up on her tip toes, and kissed him. It was meant to be a departing move, short—though not sweet—and make him think about her long after she left; but the moment their lips connected, she sighed as he did, and she felt the one seduced instead of the seducer. Man, could John kiss! An ember ignited in her belly, quickly growing to a raging inferno as his lips parted and welcomed her tongue into his mouth with a warm groan.

Joss jerked away at the sound, which signaled it was time to leave and return to the seducer, make him long for her, but when she stumbled back her knees were weak as jelly, and embarrassingly bumped into the chair she vacated nearly falling on her ass in the process. She was one scream short of a hissy fit as she grimaced at how ridiculous she looked. John reached out to steady her but she pasted on an 'I'm good' smile. But he didn't seem to care as he caught her forearm in his hand. And Joss's smile melted into a genuine one as she felt the small tremble in his hand. Maybe John was trying to show her that she wasn't the only one affected.

"I'll be back. I'll bring Taylor by sometime. You should see how grown he is," she managed to get her voice sounding normal even though her heart was pounding like a snare drum. She stole another kiss but this time it was quick and then she backpedaled away from him. Looking over her shoulder he was watching her with a look that she couldn't define. "Maybe someday soon we'll figure out just why we can't seem to stop thinking about each other," she added, and with that she sashayed towards his door, carrying her blazer with her, and left without a backward glance.

* * *

John stood on the balcony with a beer in hand and his eyes closed. He could still feel her lips on his. Still feel her eyes on him. Feel the stirring in his groin to take what she was offering. Joss was all soft curves and was exactly what he always liked. He liked women that looked like women, not stick figures. An erection pressed his jeans up as he imagined cupping the perfectly defined butt she had, or sucking on her full breasts with dark tight nipples, and bury his aching dick deep inside her wet heat to hear her throaty cries for more. His eyes snapped open as the images burned in his mind as he trembled with barely contained need. John wasn't used to this. Need. Want. None of it. He wasn't bound to the same rules as normal men were; the ones that thought with their second heads all the time. Needed pussy like they needed water to live. John learned early on in the CIA how to use his cock as a tool. Sex lost meaning and he didn't recall the last time he genuinely wanted a woman…until now, until Joss.

Turning away from the beautiful night skyline he entered his apartment storming to the kitchen and set the empty beer bottle down, needing to do something about Joss. He headed directly for his burner phone and picked it up. There were only two numbers; Harold's, and Joss's. He ignored Joss's and chose Harold's but barely.

Harold answered immediately; "Are you alright, John?"

He sighed. That's what he always asked whenever he called which wasn't often. "I'm fine, Harold," he reassured.

"I assume you're calling because Jocelyn paid you a visit. I'm sorry, John, I tried to keep it from her. But Grace is my wife and…"

John sighed as he shook his head knowing his friend couldn't see it. "It's okay, Harold, I understand; happy wife happy life, right?" he joked dryly.

"Yes," Harold said with amusement lacing his voice. "Perhaps, since Jocelyn was granted a visit, then maybe Grace and I…"

"No, absolutely not, Joss needs to stay away which is why I'm calling. Can you get Grace to talk some sense into her?" he asked. "She won't listen to me. She paid a friend of hers to dig up dirt on Snow which could get her and her friend killed."

"Maybe you need someone who is as equally stubborn as you are that won't just let you run them off," Harold said quietly.

John's lips thinned. "You've been listening to Grace too much," he stated shortly.

"Happy wife happy life, remember?" Harold remarked. John cursed under his breath. "Perhaps, if I didn't let you have space you wouldn't have sunk into such a deep state of despair," Harold added with sorrow. "Grace told me what Joss told her about the state she found you in."

"It wasn't your fault, Harold. I didn't reach out to you," he snarled as he stalked to his kitchen needing something to drink that had more bite to it than mere beer. He reached for the Jack Daniels' he purchased days ago and had been valiantly attempting to not drink. He bought it when things got a little too intense to handle, when he had nearly given in and called Joss. But he hadn't drunk it. Refusing himself it as punishment for giving in and buying the damn stuff in the first place. Tonight he wasn't strong enough to say no.

"But I should have set aside my paranoia to look for you. You saved my life and you almost took your own and I would never have known," Harold said, still taking blame, only served to upset John further. He unsnapped the cap and took a healthy gulp of the whiskey and as it burned down his throat he closed his eyes.

"Not your fault, Harold. Period." he ground out through clenched teeth. "Now get Grace to have Joss back off. She has a child to attend to."

"I'm well aware, John; I'm also well aware of the fact that you are in love with her," Harold said, taking a risk, knowing full well that John could balk and hang up. But he trusted their friendship and saw an opportunity to encourage John. "I'm sure you didn't want to fall in love. I'm also pretty sure you will fight it every step of the way. You're probably trying to convince yourself that people can't possibly fall in love so quickly but love at first sight does exist, John. I loved Grace the moment I laid eyes on her. And you loved Joss the moment you laid eyes on her."

John worked his jaw as he wasn't prepared for what Harold said. Putting voice to his feelings for Joss was exactly what he was struggling not to do. The moment he gave in and acknowledged how he truly felt about Joss Carter, was the exact moment he had to do the very thing he never could: let someone in. It was why things didn't work out with Jessica; he hadn't been able to do it, and had used his job as a reason why they couldn't possibly work. But he knew the real reason, so had Jessica, she had called him out on it, and in the end it hadn't changed a thing. Jessica walked away and he let her, but he had a feeling Joss wouldn't.

He took another long gulp of the whiskey unbeknownst to Harold. "John you have a second chance at love. Some people aren't as lucky as you, John, as they can't even find it, not even once," his friend said gently. "I won't help you send her away. I won't help you hurt yourself."

"Not helping me is dooming her," he rasped angrily.

"Joss came here fiery and fought for you, John. She is something you need whether or not you want to admit—" Harold insisted and John angrily hung up on Harold mid-speech.

John stalked out of the kitchen, sat down on his couch and guzzled down the only 'friend' who agreed with him. He looked at his phone and called Zoe Morgan who could prove useful once more. "Zoe, it's me," he said the moment she answered.

"John," she purred seductively. "Who do you need information on this time?" Zoe inquired, getting straight to business.

"Do you know anything about a female private investigator known only as Root?" he asked.

There was a pregnant pause before she spoke; "Some. Does any of this have to do with that detective, Jocelyn Carter, the one that recently gave birth to a son?"

John sat forward slamming the Jack Daniels down as he clutched the cellphone tightly. "How the hell did you know about that?"

"Do you even need to ask, John? I'm a fixer. I know all the players. I know every angle. I know how all the pieces of the city fit together. Knowledge is power, which is why you came to me in the first place. You asked me about Carl Elias, who came up dead recently, and the pretty detective recounted being on the run from Elias and her very dead husband who, with the help of a good Samaritan, saved her. And that description Detective Carter gave just so happened to fit you to a T," Zoe explained; John closed his eyes. He made a very big mistake going to Zoe for help with Elias; now she had leverage against him which set her solely in the driver's seat. "So does your wanting to know about Root have anything to do with your detective?" she repeated.

Knowledge was power as Zoe said, so he stubbornly refused to answer her. Zoe chuckled. "I see you take the fifth on that. I take that our arrangement is going to be different from here on, seeing as you are not the type to engage in multiple affairs, which is a pity. But I'm sure we could come up with something beneficial for both of us."

John knew when he was a beaten man. "What would be beneficial to you, Zoe?" he asked.

"I'll give you the information I have on Root and you can offer me your body…in some other way." Zoe said gently. "It won't be nearly as fun but there are times when requiring a proper bodyguard is necessary. You'll fill that role quite nicely."

"Alright, tell me everything you know about Root, specifically something that could be used to make her decide to drop a case," he commented as he grabbed his Jack Daniels again and leaned back.

"Why? Who is the case?"

"She's being hired by Joss to go looking into my former handler, Mark Snow. I need to prevent that," John commented as he slung back the alcohol and it burned through down his throat.

"Any reason why?"

John debated about whether or not it was a good idea to divulge any information to Zoe. He knew that Harold would have been able to dig up some information on Root but Finch had already proven to side with Joss. Zoe was in it for herself and had no sides to take. "Let's just say that preventing an investigation into Mark Snow benefits everyone," he said carefully.

"Does 'everyone' include you, John?"

"My life doesn't matter, Zoe," he said firmly. If Snow found out then this Root and Joss would be dead.

Zoe was quiet. "I don't have much information on her other than she uses Root as a moniker. It's a computer term, and she was a former government hacker before she was cut loose. Now she's a freelance private investigator who is hard to track down. Only the elite of the elite have her number but I have a client who previously hired her before and I could get in touch with him if you'd like. He owes me one so I could get more information on Root for you."

"Do it but quickly or you'll need someone else to pose as your bodyguard," he warned and hung up with her and drunk himself silly for the rest of the night to try his damnedest to forget about Joss just even for a moment.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning was an eventful one for Joss, who exited her car at the given coordinates. It was hot and muggy but catching Snow wouldn't wait for cooler weather. Shaw had held up her end of the deal with getting in contact with Root. After she had left John's place last night she had received a phone call from an unknown number which so happened to be Root. The woman was an oddball that was for sure. But Root had already finished force-pairing with Mark Snow and had explained her next step was to break into his apartment and see if she could glean anything from there. Joss had been only too willing to help which seemed to surprise Root but after a little cajoling she got the mystery woman to agree. Joss was going to make sure Root had enough time to fully search his apartment without worrying that Snow would show up unannounced.

Joss saw Snow standing off to the side with another suit, clearly working on something for the CIA. That didn't deter her but rather it helped. She parked her butt down on an empty bench, crossed her legs, and lifted a newspaper up appearing to be perusing it when she was blatantly watching her target. She wanted him to see her. This wasn't meant to be stealth. Joss wanted him to know she was watching him. Part of her wanted to call John and triumphantly remark that she was pulling a fast one over Snow but didn't. Knowing John he was probably lurking around following her watching this and was steaming mad. She smiled at the thought.

When she focused on Snow again he noticed her and she locked eyes with him. His shock faded instantly and it appeared as though he pretended he hadn't seen her. He went back to looking at some black man, in a similar looking suit, and conversed. Joss kept sitting and waiting, knowing he wouldn't resist coming over to try to rattle her into giving him any crumb on where John was.

After a little while she kept a neutral expression as she watched the two men part ways and Snow made his way towards her. He was careful in his steps and clearly didn't want anyone to know that he was seeking her out on purpose. Ah, so he was afraid someone else was watching him which made things even more interesting. Maybe John was putting the screws to Snow that she wasn't aware of. That or Snow was as paranoid because he was selling secrets to the Chinese.

"Detective, you need to work on your tailing," he commented dryly, as he came up in front of her. His hands were thrust in his pockets of his jacket and stared down at her with barely concealed contempt.

She set the paper down with a smile. "I was going to say that to you," she lied. "So now you're following me to parks where I can't even read a newspaper in the sun without you shaking me down. Hear me Agent Snow; I don't know the man you're looking for. How many other ways do I need to spell it out to you?" she said playing her part expertly.

Snow looked at her questioningly before shrugging. "I was here on business."

Joss cocked a brow up. "So, looking for this guy you won't leave me alone about isn't for business?" she asked. The look on his face showed his anger that he fouled that one up.

"Not what I meant!"

"It's what you said," she pointed out.

Snow's brows came to a point as he frowned so hard before his expression cleared up. "You caught me detective, I am looking for John personally," he answered. Joss arched a brow though hid her surprise that he was actually admitting to it. "If the CIA had their way, John would be retired. I don't want that to happen to him."

Joss nearly laughed at the line of bull. Trying to lie to an expert interrogator, eh? "If he is as dangerous as you claim he is than why are you trying everything in your power to save him?"

"Because John was broken by the things our agency asked him to do. He's a very good friend of mine and doesn't deserve to be put down like a rabid beast. John would benefit from psychological help and that's what I'm determined to get him," Mark said, in what sounded like a sincere voice to anybody else but her.

Joss arched a brow once more. "So you want to lock him up in a straightjacket?" she muttered and Snow nodded. Instead of pushing, Joss backed off as she stood. That should have bought Root more than enough time to do some investigating, and now she knew that he was working at the moment it was time to head back to the precinct. She eyed her watch. "My break is nearly over, and I wish I could say it was a pleasure." Joss said as she grabbed her newspaper.

Snow stared at her. "I know you know him, detective," he assured her. Joss simply stared him down. "But I was wrong in thinking that it appeared that he became attached to you. It seems he has cut you out of his life as easily as he did his ex. You mean little to him as everyone else in his life before you. Good for you, bad for me since the longer he remains on the loose the more likely I won't be able to give him the help he desperately needs."

"Bye, Snow," she said and barely stopped herself from saying 'good riddance' along with it. Mark Snow didn't respond verbally as he just dipped his chin, turned, and walked away. What was that supposed to do, trip her up and claim she meant a lot to John? And she wasn't stupid to believe that this meant that she could relax now.

Joss turned and headed for her car and hoped like hell that Root had gotten some good info on that man. She couldn't wait for someone to slap some cuffs on that traitor. As she walked, she texted Root that Snow was working so she had as much time that she needed. Joss climbed into her car and before she could even pull her seatbelt on the sound of her passenger door opened and she gaped as John climbed in beside her.

"John! Where the hell did you come from?" she demanded before looking around. "Snow's close, you need to go or he might see you!" she ordered. John sat saying nothing but anger glinted deep in his steely blue depths. So did glassiness. "Were you drinking?" she snapped.

"What the hell are you thinking?" he growled instead. "Snow isn't stupid, Joss he'll know you're onto him. Are you looking for him to kill you?"

Joss looked away feeling as though they were baking in the car without her A/C on, so she stabbed her key into the ignition before putting her seatbelt on, turning on the A/C, and pulled away from the curb determined to protect John even if he wasn't willing to do it for himself. "I was buying Root enough time to comb through his apartment without fearing of being caught. Now I know he's working so he won't be going home anytime soon, she's in the clear. And I'm not stupid, John, though you seem to think I am, but I made him believe we met on coincidence."

"You think he bought that?"

Joss tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "I don't care if he did or not. I'm angling to have this situation resolved sooner rather than later, unlike you."

"What does that mean?"

"Seriously, why haven't you put the screws to him yet, John?" she demanded angrily. He was letting himself be hunted and it was upsetting that he wouldn't fight back.

John looked away and stared out the windshield. "Do you really think that Snow was the only one that wanted me dead in the CIA, Joss?" he asked quietly.

"Are you saying there're more?" she commanded, needing to know what she was up against.

"Beale, Mark's boss, wanted me gone. The more questions I asked about the legitimacy of the work the more I became a liability to them. They want yes-men, Joss, not people who question their authority. There was never a formal investigation in my or Kara's death, why do you think that is?" he inquired though they both knew the answer. "The moment I am found alive is the moment I'll have the entire agency looking for me. That puts a lot of people at risk: you, your son, Harold and Grace. I can't risk them looking into past cases looking for clues, then they might realize Harold's alive."

Joss let out a string of expletives. She didn't realize just how shitty things were for John. No wonder he wasn't willing to fight. It seemed the deck was stacked against him. And he placed everyone else's lives ahead of his. She drove them around until she pulled over in an abandoned parking lot far away from where Snow was. Leaving the car on for the A/C she removed her seatbelt and angled herself to look at him.

"I understand why you have kept hidden all this time now. Thank you for telling me the truth," she murmured sincerely.

He looked at her warily. "Now you know why you need to stop. Why you need to stay away," he acknowledged, equally sincerely.

Joss merely eyed him liking the fact that he had gotten a haircut and shaved that godawful beard off. Not to mention she hadn't noticed last night that he had evidently gotten some sun. His handsome face was tanned, and at the neckline of his white t-shirt he was wearing, showing it carried to his chest and stomach too. Her mind wandered to him on a beach, sunbathing, out in the open. And she scowled as she thought about women offering to lather him up with sun-tan lotion or got a birds-eye view of John coming out of the water after a swim. Her gaze drifted down and noted the way his shirt stretched tight over his muscular chest and smiled at the khaki shorts, and brown flip-flops. John looked like a damned tourist which probably was the look he was going for to throw off anyone looking for him. He looked hot like this as much as he did in jeans and a button down shirt. Her mind tried to conjure him up in a nice suit or a tux and felt saliva filling her mouth at the thought.

"Joss," he said making her blink and forcing her gaze up to his handsome face. His eyes were on her clearly annoyed that she was drifting off into la-la land while he was telling her something important. And what was that again?—oh yea, he wanted her to back off and leave him.

"On contraire, it just makes me more motivated to help you, John," she countered. He glowered at her. "Once Snow is dealt with you won't have any excuse for why you can't live your life. The CIA won't have a clue you're alive and no one will believe Snow if he tries to oust your secret."

"Joss…" he exhaled roughly.

Her eyes raked him over and didn't like the fact that he appeared disheveled and fighting a hangover. "Stop drinking to numb yourself, John. It doesn't work which you know by now," she demanded. He lifted his gaze and fury built in his eyes.

"You think because you've insinuated yourself into my life that it qualifies you into knowing what's best for me?" he snarled.

She scoffed at him. "Coming from the man that inserted himself into my problems that's very funny," she snapped back.

"You were pregnant Joss. Did you think you could out run Elias alone?"

"And what are you?—you lost all will to fight, so someone has to do it for you."

"You can't fight a losing battle, Joss," he stated bluntly…sadly.

"How would you know it's a losing battle when you haven't even tried?" she demanded bitterly.

"There's no point." he responded shortly and curtly.

"Well, I think there is!" she argued right back. They sat glaring at each other, neither willing to back down, and the next moment they were kissing in her car and it was glorious. Anger was still very much simmering in both of them as they kissed with intensity. The bite of his fingers on the back of her neck gentled, pulling her towards him, she leaned forward, letting the gearshift press hard against her thigh as she rested her hands on his shoulders.

Lips parted and tongues met and warred for dominance, which she won for all of three seconds, and then he played dirty by cupping her aching breasts, making her gasp and falter until he was plundering her mouth for all he was good for, and she damned well liked it. Drawing in ragged pants through her nostrils as the kiss raged on like a hurricane, battering them both from multiple sides, neither wanting it to end, but knew it would eventually have to or they'd both pass out. She clawed his shoulders as she angled closer, bumping her nose against his, both were making ragged gasping noises, and broke the kiss to press her warm mouth to his cheek as she climbed over the gearshift and straddled him.

They shared a mutual moan of pleasure as they fit together like two interconnecting puzzle pieces. She was delirious with need as his hard bulge pressed against her soft and quivering mound. When they both ground against each other the sizzling sparks of their shared passion ignited; hands roamed over each other as wetness pooled in her panties, and his dick throbbed madly beneath her. Good to know he was just as aroused as she was. Joss lowered her mouth to his, drawing him in for another hot and lengthy kiss, that would have her brain short circuiting, perhaps him too, and poured all her pent up frustration from years into the kiss. The hazy fog of lust made her solely focused on his mouth and devouring it that Joss didn't even realize that he was undoing her pants until she gasped as she felt a hand sliding into her underwear, and fingers finding her clit like a sharpshooter found a bullseye. He stroked her taut nub of desire as it was so hard and tight with need that she shook from one small gentle touch. Joss pulled back and let out a loud moan of pleasure as he rubbed her.

"Oh John, what are you doing to me?" she whimpered as her hips undulated as she leaned her head back, eyes snapped closed, and felt like he just lit the fuse of a stick of dynamite and at any moment she'd explode. She never experienced passion like this. Never experienced need like this and she was helpless to it as she rotated her hips thrusting herself onto his fingers harder. Her body trembled as he stroked her with expert fingers. She held onto his shoulder blades as the tension in her built to the point of pain, and when he speared her pussy with two fingers, pressing against the exact spot that made it feel like thunder in her pussy, she came with a loud shout.

John moaned as her wetness spilt over his fingers coating them making his dick throb madly against his khaki shorts as she climaxed with a few strokes of his hand. He knew how to please and did exactly that, knowing he couldn't offer her anything else. John pressed the base of his palm against her, careful to keep his middle finger buried in her, and ground gently against her to draw out her orgasm. She thrust her hips against his hand and was utterly beautiful as she gave herself over to the moment. Her entire body heaved and shook from the force of her orgasm. He wondered what she'd be like in a bed, legs spread, pussy wet and slippery, and being fucked ruthlessly until she was screaming his name. John nearly came in his pants at the thought.

After it was over he regretfully removed his hand from inside her panties and redid her pants resolutely. Joss stared at him with intense brown eyes that held need in them, the orgasm he gave her seemed to only make her hunger for the same mating as he did, and he shook from the force of his own desire. Her penetrating gaze seemed to see right through him. John didn't say a word as he lifted her up and pushed her until she was back in the driver's seat so that he wouldn't find a way to get her in the backseat of this car and do exactly what they both wanted.

"John," she gasped.

But he didn't say a word as he opened the car door and climbed out. A blast of hot and humid air met his already overheated body, his dick was heavy and erect to the point of pain, and her wetness tempted him still as it clung to his right hand. _Just one lick_, his mind cajoled. He shuddered at the thought but pushed it away. One lick wouldn't be enough because then he'd know that she tasted as he expected, like a delicious honey that he'd want to gorge himself on. He ruthlessly strode away from the woman in the car which took every ounce of his fledging willpower to muster.

* * *

Joss, sat on her kitchen island, after a long day at work, and wasn't even the least bit tired even though last night her son had gotten her up twice. Also she had put in a twelve hour shift trying to catch up on some paperwork after finishing up a homicide. No, she was still jazzed after her little encounter with John in the afternoon. And she was still tense as hell. You'd think after an orgasm she wouldn't be. Maybe she wouldn't be if John hadn't walked away after it. So they could go back to her place and make love for real. But maybe it was better that it didn't happen. Fusco would have had to cover for her. And she hadn't given John the cold hard facts yet either. Like they weren't going to simply fuck and get it out of their systems. Not that she thought they could. Their connection was strong and unerring. John hadn't given into the darkness and she wasn't being egotistical in acknowledging it was because of her. It was the humble truth; she saved him from himself, but now, now she needed him to open himself up to the possibility to more than merely existing. That was the tricky part because John seemed hell bent on doing just that.

He also needed to know that she was invested in him. Her failed marriage with Paul had hurt but she could learn from her past mistakes and move on. And she wanted John to let her in and wouldn't accept anything less. John, being the military man he was, viewed the world differently: being out in the open was dangerous, which she was sure was how he viewed his feelings too. Showing how he felt outwardly scared the fuck out of him and rang every internal alarm bell he had. Internalizing everything was far safer. But she didn't want him feeling safe, alone. She wanted him to feel safe with her just as she felt with him. And then there was Taylor; she wanted him in her son's life. Taylor didn't have a father and while she would never pressure John into stepping into that role unless he was ready, willing, and able to; she couldn't deny that she would pray for it to happen. Because her son deserved the love of a father and John deserved to feel the love of a child.

She sighed as she dug her spoon in further into the ice cream. Probably working out would be a better way of burning off this tense energy but working out didn't taste like chocolate chip cookie dough though. After another few spoonfuls she resolutely hopped off the kitchen island and put away the carton of ice cream, there was just enough left for a future binge.

Just as she exited her kitchen her cell rang. Sighing, knowing it wasn't going to be who she wanted to hear from, she moved to the phone lethargically. A tiny smile filled her face when she saw it was Fusco. "Hey, what's up?"

"Sorry to disrupt your evening, Carter, but I thought you should know that the Captain officially removed me from the investigation of Paul, Elias, and Marconi."

"What?!" she demanded as she went rigid. "Doesn't the Captain want to know who offed these men?"

"Not up to her. The FBI pulled the plug." he grumbled.

"Why?"

Fusco laughed humorlessly. "Come on, Carter, those suits aren't going to tell us squat. They either found something or are tired of pooling resources on a lost cause and pulled the plug."

Joss bit out a curse word that would get her mouth washed out with soap if her mother heard it. Ladies didn't swear, or so her mama said. But her mama wasn't told shitty news. "Do you think they suspect Snow at all?"

"Probably not, I could never find a way to connect Snow with the crime without spilling what I know when I shouldn't know it. Donnelly didn't believe it was the Russians but he wasn't completely off that some other enemy that Elias had found his true identity and offed him with everyone else in the car," Fusco said sounding tired. "Months of investigating down the drain too."

"It's okay Fusco, you tried," she assured just as wearily.

"Just thought you should know…."

"Thanks," she remarked sincerely and with that hung up with her friend. Joss dropped her cell phone onto the mantle with a disgusted sigh as Snow was getting away with his crimes again, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop it. "No, I have Root now. I'll save John and nail that bastard in the process." she whispered to herself.

A knock on the door caught her off guard and her senses went on full alert. Joss wouldn't put it past Snow to not show up after their cold encounter earlier. She headed, with purpose, to the door and peered through the peephole and frowned, the woman on the other side was someone she never seen before.

Joss pulled the door open and asked; "May I help you?"

"Are you Detective Carter?" the woman asked with a breathy quality to her voice.

Joss looked over the beautiful brunette standing in front of her. She was dressed to kill in a sexy red number and wore a beguiling smile. "I am, and you would be?" Joss asked guardedly. She had to be wary of anyone and everyone feeling as though she was channeling her best Harold Finch with the paranoia. But John's very life depended on it.

"We share a mutual friend," the mystery woman explained secretively. When Joss didn't immediately respond she added; "A certain good-looking tall, dark-haired, and blue eyed friend."

Joss schooled her reaction, not about to make a slip up. "That description fits lots of men I know. Care to be more specific about this friend we share? And you still haven't introduced yourself."

"I'm Zoe Morgan," the brunette introduced as she held out a well-manicured hand. This time Joss didn't camouflage her reaction because this woman wasn't a threat to John. "I see you've heard of me. Hopefully it's all good things."

Joss stepped back to let the woman enter her home. Once inside she offered Zoe something to drink which the exotic woman declined, and she led her to her couch. Once seated Joss blurted out; "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Before I answer your question I want you to answer one of mine, detective. What have you heard about me?" Zoe inquired.

"I only know that you're a fixer and you have information that others don't possess," Joss answered as vague as possible. She wasn't going to admit to running a full background check into her and asked her informants for details. Zoe Morgan was a rather respected woman which made her feel slightly better about what John had done previously for her with this woman.

Zoe seemed satisfied with her answer because she spoke once again, but this time answering her question; "I'm here to meet you since you mean so much to John."

"Seeing as you're a fixer; it's no surprise you connected the dots. You had to have heard about Carl Elias's death. And John had just asked you about information on that man and then my statement came along with a physical description of the good Samaritan that matches John who've you met before," Joss muttered. Zoe smiled seemingly impressed.

"Intelligent as well as beautiful, it's no wonder John's smitten," Zoe said with a chuckle.

"Being here to meet me isn't why you're here and I want to know what that real reason is," Joss spoke bluntly as she sat forward, her dark gaze accessing. Zoe's expression was neutral. She would hate to face this brunette in poker because you couldn't tell what the hell was up her sleeve.

"I came to see you because I think our goals align," Zoe admitted after a moment.

"What goals?" Joss asked, feeling clueless.

"Protecting John," she supplied simply.

That got Joss's attention. "What do you know?" she demanded.

"Before I get to that let me be clear: I care about John, and I don't care about anyone other than myself."

Joss felt her brows rise at that. "From my understanding your relationship was purely superficial. You give him information and he gives you a good lay." Joss replied bluntly.

Zoe nodded not the least bit embarrassed. "Oh it is," she agreed. "Or rather it was. John doesn't want to continue with our liaison because of you I suspect. I always thought John and I were cut from the same cloth but I've come to realize we aren't. We share similarities but have vast differences. But, while our relationship was always sexual in nature that doesn't mean that I didn't come to value him as a friend." Joss arched a brow at that. Friend?—a friend with certain benefits! "But a word of warning, Detective, hurt him and I will make your life a literal living hell."

Joss looked at Zoe in surprise and saw nothing but honesty staring back at her. Zoe, no doubt, could ruin her with the people she knew and who owed her favors. Her career could be gone in an instant with a simple phone call. A small smile born out of respect graced Joss's lips. Perhaps there was more than met the eye with Zoe Morgan.

"I have zero intentions of hurting John." she replied.

Zoe nodded. "Figured, but I had to make sure. And I sincerely hope you are the lone woman to get the chance to bypass that near-unbreakable exterior John has to keep others out. I suspect what lies within is far less unbreakable," she murmured seriously. Joss felt the same way. "Last night John called me asking me if I knew any information on a private investigator named Root; specifically information that would blackmail her into deciding to not take a certain case."

Joss couldn't find it in her to be really surprised. John already knew she wouldn't cancel with Root so he was trying to remove Root himself by any means. She shook her head as a smile tugged on her lips. That man was determined to protect everyone except for himself.

"What did you tell him?" she asked finally.

"Not much. Like I said, Joss, I care about him. I know everything there is to know about the woman he wants to know about. But I didn't because I wanted to speak to you first. Because if there is anything to know about the mysterious Root is that once she takes a case she starts immediately and gets results quickly," Zoe explained primly.

"Don't tell him anything. I think I can convince him that he doesn't need to blackmail my private investigator off my case. And don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't blame you for coming to me."

Zoe smiled. "I'm sure you can convince John of anything, Joss. But I must be going though it was a pleasure meeting you and I hope to see you again soon," she murmured as she stood. Joss showed her to the door and once the door was closed she knew that she would be seeing Zoe sooner rather than later.

* * *

AN: And Zoe sides with Joss, in this case ;D

Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN: Hi guys, sorry about the mini hiatus as I didn't mean to be absent this long but things sort of piled up on me and posting had to be pushed on the backburner. Hope everyone has a happy Friday!_**

* * *

He had an awful night last night. After what happened with Joss he had gone home and took a lengthy shower, but instead of taking matters into his own hands, literally, he hadn't gotten himself off. He took a cold shower and let his erection wilt on its own. But it didn't do anything to stop the tension churning inside him. So as the day turned to evening it seemed to get worse as images of Joss plagued him. He tried chasing them away with alcohol but when that didn't work he turned the television on until finally he went to bed where he tossed and turned all night. Now it was morning and he was no closer to knowing what to do. Zoe offered information on Root but nothing that he could use to blackmail her into dropping the case Joss hired her on. He couldn't fault Zoe; sometimes people didn't have skeletons but then he might need Harold's help in finding out more about the elusive Root. But by then it might be too late.

John just finished shaving his face when he heard his front door being opened. He set his razor down as he stepped near the closed door of his bathroom and listened to the footsteps. They were light which meant possibly female. So it wasn't Mark. Perhaps it was that Root woman. Knowing how thorough that woman was surely she would come seek answers about Snow's query. Or it could be a common thief breaking and entering even in a more upscale apartment complex. John immediately swung the door open and moved with a speed surely to surprise his intruder.

He had already had the intruder pinned against the wall when he realized it was Joss. He kept her hands pinned to the wall and met her startled gaze. John let her go and she let her gaze wander down his body.

"Joss, what are you doing here?" he asked.

Joss cleared her throat. He wanted her to talk while he stood in nothing but a towel slung low on his hips. His chest was muscular as it was masculine with just the right amount of hair. The scars were numerous but then she figured them to be. And they didn't detract from his sexiness but rather added to it.

She looked up and forced herself to speak; "I'm here because I want to know what the hell you thought you were doing in asking Zoe to get information on Root!"

He frowned. "Does everyone side with you?" he wondered aloud. "You first beguiled Harold and Grace but now my informant too." John disappeared back into his bathroom shutting the door refusing to include himself on the list.

Joss released the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Talk about beguiling, he literally stole her breath away, and if he hadn't gone in the bathroom when he had she wasn't going to be held accountable for her actions especially with what happened yesterday in her car. It did nothing to relief the constant tension between them. It simmered under the surface with the real threat of exploding and consuming them both when they least expected it too.

John exited his bathroom exchanging his towel for skimpy boxer-briefs. Really, his underwear left little to the imagination and she sighed in appreciation. Size didn't matter it was what you did with it but then John didn't really have to worry about it. John quite literally hit the genetic lottery in having massive sex appeal, eyes that you could get lost in, a nice body, and above average…equipment. And above all else he was a good man who was protective, sweet, and had a wry sense of amusement. Her eyes tracked him as he walked by her to head for the dresser nearby. John exuded a masculine confidence, he wasn't shy in the least being nearly naked in front of her which was incredibly sexy. But then when you looked like that you didn't need to be shy.

"mmm…" she sounded as she eyed his amazing ass.

"What?" he asked as he looked at her pulling on khaki shorts and a navy blue t-shirt covering his spectacular body.

"Nothing, just some men have it all." she said and the comment hung heavy in the room. She noted that he had just shaved by the tiny nick on his chin which she suspected was for her benefit.

His gaze slid over her which seemed to caress her as it did. "So do certain women." he said in agreement. Joss flushed under his compliment. "Tell me Joss; did Zoe lie to me about not having information on Root or is she being truthful?"

"Zoe came by last evening to tell me that you asked her to dig up dirt on Root to convince her to drop my case," Joss answered truthfully, choosing to ignore his question so she wouldn't have to lie.

"And why did she do that?" he wondered.

"Because she realizes that I'm looking out for you and she cares about you too," Joss replied smoothly.

John shook his head. "Zoe doesn't do anything unless it's in her best interests. Meeting you had nothing to do with caring about me and everything to do with you. Now you're in her debt since she came to you and told you about my desire to end your investigation into Snow. Having a cop she can trust would prove useful to a fixer." he said.

Uh-huh, and pigs could fly but she kept silent. Joss could sniff out a lie and Zoe sounded sincere when she said she cared about John. "Perhaps I would have believed that had she not warned off of hurting you." she murmured. "I want to ask you to not try to run Root off. Let me see if she can find out anything on Snow. Shaw promised me that Root can do this without being found out. I wouldn't risk someone's life, you know that."

John didn't see that he had a choice, at least, for now being that everyone was siding with Joss. "Alright, I won't try to run her off the case," he agreed reluctantly. Joss smiled warmly. "But I still want to know more about this elusive woman. I don't trust that she's as shadowy as I am."

"Quite frankly, so do I, my friend is kind of hung up on her," Joss admitted dryly.

He nodded then motioned at his kitchen. "I could make you some coffee before you go to work." he murmured eyeing her pantsuit that was form fitting.

She shook her head. "Thanks but I already had a cup or two. Couldn't sleep much last night, kept thinking about you." she said with her innate honesty that was so refreshing. "Plus when I did dose off Taylor chose that moment to wake up a little upset with a stinky diaper."

"How is he?" John asked quickly, greedy to know more about her son.

"He's good, getting big. I want you to see him," she ordered softly.

John looked away. "I should stay away."

"Okay, I'll bring him here. I've been vigilant about making sure I'm not followed." she reassured, willing to go drive in circles for hours if he agreed to let her bring Taylor by.

"No, it's too risky."

Joss swallowed her disappointment. But she was afraid if she just brought Taylor by then John would break his word and leave this apartment out of misguided desire to protect, and then she wouldn't know where he was. For now, she'd go along with him. She stepped towards him and pressed her lips to his cheek and felt him stiffen instantly. She pulled back and saw his expression was unreadable as he stared down at her.

"See you later, John," she whispered.

The air between them thickened as the insane attraction crackled and sizzled. After several unbearable moments she finally mustered up enough willpower to draw away from him and the incredible pull that wanted to snap them together. She let out a shallow breath as the feeling between them was potent and heady. With one last look she waved at him and left half-hoping he'd stop her.

* * *

The pressure beat at him all day and evening; really ever since he met Joss in the subway, pregnant, and on the run. He didn't want this; fought against it tirelessly but to no avail. He wanted Joss Carter. Getting her off in the car had only stroked the fire, not doused it. John rubbed the back of his neck as he paced his place restlessly.

"I wanted Jessica and look how that turned out," he spoke desperately to himself. Maybe speaking it aloud would bring it all back into focus to remind him of that love came with pain and loss. Staying away would protect them both from that. Joss suffered enough pain and loss and, quite frankly, so had he.

But even while trying to remind himself of the painful losses that he never quite healed from John looked around his apartment and overwhelming silence filled it. Now he felt like he was climbing the walls and needed escape. He stormed for the door grabbing his keys, slipping his feet in flip-flops he bought on a whim just to complete his ensemble so if anyone searching for him wouldn't ever expect him to wear, and exited. He needed to take a walk and get some air. And maybe even get a fresh perspective. As he exited the apartment building now that the sun was down it was actually nice out. He'd be careful to keep to the shadows because he never knew where Snow's informants were and no doubt the man had put feelers out with them to find him.

He kept his head down to the shadowed sidewalk, and walked with no particular destination in mind. Sucking in deep breaths of fresh air helped calm him. He never had a problem with his loneliness before. Most of the time he preferred the solitude but with Joss riling up feelings he wasn't ready to face left him unsettled.

It wasn't until he looked up that he realized he was across the street from her place. John unconsciously had walked the fifteen minute drive, in about a half hour, and was standing across from her brownstone. Anger burned through him. Why did he keep showing up here? Why wouldn't she just do as he asked? Why couldn't he just forget about her? Maybe he could make her do as he asked. He could be cruel to her. Be the monster he knew he could be. Perhaps if he made her hate him she'd forget him. It'd kill him but she'd be safe.

John looked around surveying his surroundings and once satisfied no one was around or out of place, he moved. He heard the pounding of his heart in his ears with each step up her front stoop he took. He would be cruel to her. He would say things he didn't mean just to make her give up on him. He could. His hand was poised to knock on her door without him consciously doing so.

The door opened making him realize he had actually knocked and Joss stood there only in her blouse with the top two buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, dress slacks, and bare feet making her the most beautiful woman in the world. "John, what are you doing here?"

Why indeed? Just a few short seconds ago he knew but the moment she opened the door all his intentions seemed to have disappeared. And he was left with an urgent need that he resented, bitterly fought against, but couldn't stop.

He had to have her as he stepped forward, dragging her to him with little resistance, and kissed her hard and desperately. It felt like a storm was raging inside him with thunder rumbling in his head, lightning flashing in his heart, and the moment his lips touched hers felt like the skies opened up and the sun came out as a burst of warmth spread through him. He didn't understand the significance nor was he going to care. Her lips parted in either surprise or invitation, which he didn't care, and swept his tongue deep into her wondrous wet cavern as he stepped closer. He plundered her mouth with his tongue as he pressed her against the doorframe and held her neck to hold her still for his relentless kiss.

The soft little mewing noise she made urged him to press a knee between her legs and let a hand wander down her body tracing her curves that attracted him. She was kissing him back with matching intensity that seemed to only serve to march him closer to the edge of his control snapping. He could take her right here and she wouldn't care. She wanted it. Wanted him.

Joss was the one to pull away first. She held fistfuls of his shirt. "I think we should move this inside," she whispered throatily.

Panic swelled in him as much as his dick swelled against his shorts. This wasn't going to be just sex, but he couldn't seem to stop his feet from moving him with her into her home.


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: Just an FYI the sex scene is a bit graphic but I wanted it to be more raw and urgent. So if that's not your thing you may want to skip to the line break. **_

* * *

Joss knew the moment she pulled John inside that they were going to have sex. No, not sex, they were going to make love. Sex was impersonal and meaningless to him. What they were about to do was going to mean something for her and him. She smiled softly at the stark panic in his eyes knowing he knew it too. _Give him the cold hard facts now_, her mind hissed. But her body didn't mind laying down the law after they made love.

The door clicked shut and her focus sharpened on John rather than her own internal musings. Joss kept her gaze on him but reached around him to lock the door. The moment she moved back his mouth was on hers. She sighed as she kissed him back welcoming the warm glide of his tongue across hers as he walked her backwards until her back collided with the corner of the wall leading to her living room. He had a tight grip on her hip with one hand and the other was cupping the back of her neck, as he slanted his head to rub his lips against hers sensually.

Joss shivered, if he was this good at kissing she could only imagine what he was like as a lover. Judging from how easily he brought her to a climax in her car this afternoon she'd say he was stellar. Her hands slid from his chest down around to his butt just as his hands lifted to cup her breasts. They moaned simultaneously.

He ended the kiss to stare into her eyes. "Tell me to stop and I will," he said lowly with a hint of a breathless quality making his voice sound deeper, richer.

Joss arched her back thrusting her breasts more firmly in his palms. "Does it feel like I want you to stop?" she wondered as she pulled him forward and felt his erection pressing hard against her belly. Her body quivered in anticipation.

John didn't respond as he began undoing her blouse's buttons and pushed it off her shoulders in turn. He undid the clasp to her bra and she helped shrug it off. His thumbs pressed on her hard nipples which hardened further making her sigh. He let his fingers trail down between the valley of her breasts and caressed the scar she received in Fallujah, before skimming them over her ribcage, erecting goose-bumps on her skin. He bent his head and kissed the top of her breast before dipping down further and circled her nipple with his tongue.

Joss leaned her head back against the wall on a long moan as his mouth was devilish against her flesh. His one hand was pinching and rolling her other nipple, while the other hand was working its way down and cupped her through her pants with his other hand earning a gasp. She scraped her nails against the back of his neck.

He lifted his head and licked his lips. "You're all curves," he rasped.

"And that gets you hot?"

"You have no idea how much. You're a real woman, not some stick figure with no substance." he growled as he swiftly and passionately took her lips with his in brutal intensity. Joss whimpered as he hauled her up into his arms and her legs wrapped around his waist, trapping his rather impressive erection against her intimately. She was pressed against all hard and smoldering male. Never once in her life did she feel like she was about to be consumed with the hot flames of ecstasy, not until John.

She didn't even realize he had carried her upstairs until his lips were off hers and was looking at her for direction. Joss leaned forward to rim his ear with her tongue to breathe; "Last door on the left."

Without a word he carried her to her bedroom and she was so glad she had just checked on Taylor, who should be good for a couple hours, and found herself back on her feet though John's hands were already moving to undo her slacks while he was kicking off his flip-flops. Joss wanted to tell him how hot he was in this casual attire and should wear it more but before she could even react her pants were removed, leaving her in her black lace panties.

"Fuck, Joss," he moaned as he sank to his knees, his hands on her ass and mouth on her belly. She gasped as she felt his teeth scrape against her skin as he nibbled his way down to the waistband of her panties. She couldn't formulate a word as he hooked his fingers in her panties and drew them down. Part of her was disgusted with herself that she was completely nude while he was still fully clothed.

He lifted her left leg over his shoulder, grabbed her hips tight, and simply buried his mouth in her pussy. And moaned as she tasted just as he figured, like delicious honey. The wait to taste her was so damn worth it.

Joss cried out as his tongue explored her with expertise and with ardent eagerness. Her hands twisted in his hair as his tongue laved attention to her clit before slipping between the wet seam of her pussy lips lapping up her wetness that spilled out of her. Drinking from her, making sexy sounds of pleasure as he did, and that made her feel warm all over. What happened in her car was nothing compared to this. And she felt the familiar tension in her loins grow and build.

"John," she moaned as her head flung back as his mouth latched onto her clit and sucked, before she felt him slide a hand down and felt a finger slip inside her, then two. "John, god, I don't think I can stand much longer," she admitted roughly as her leg threatened to give out. He made a sound against her which made the heat collecting between her legs blaze hotter, but he sucked her gently and her orgasm blindsided her as she let out a loud cry of his name.

John immediately withdrew his hand from her pussy to grab a firm hold on her other hip as she came. He locked his forearms letting her lean on his strength as her hips jerked as she ground herself against his lips and tongue. He encouraged her to ride out her orgasm as he worked her hips back and forth. John wanted to swallow her sweet honey that split on his lips and tongue but waited until he wrung every last tremor for her. Once he was sure if he let her go that she could hold her own weight was when he pressed a soft kiss to her before sitting back. John smacked his lips as he greedily licked them and tasted her again.

Joss's legs felt like wax but she was proud of herself that she could stand after that bone-melting orgasm. Her insides were still quivering and spasms still rocked her pussy. John stood and as he did he placed warm kisses to her belly, breasts, her neck, and then captured her lips with his in a desperate kiss. Her hand worked itself between them and cupped his throbbing manhood. Joss yelped as he snatched her up into his arms and pushed her on her bed.

John nipped her breast as he worked on undoing his fly carefully. He needed to get inside her now. Once he worked the zipper over his aching dick, he urged both his shorts and underwear down and placed a knee on the bed but that was it. He spread her legs wide and positioned his cock at her entrance and thrust forward without asking for permission. His eyes rolled in the back of his head as he sank into her wet heat easily.

"Shit," he gasped. "You're perfect." he shuddered as he reached as deep inside her as he could possibly go. John paused for only a moment to let her adjust, figuring she hadn't had been with anyone since that disastrous night with Paul, before he began moving back and forth thrusting heavily inside her.

Joss grabbed her comforter in her fists as she thrust up against him, wanting him as deep as possible. He was filling her deep, stretching her wide, and still is wasn't enough. She sat up and he stopped his ruthless thrusts to eye her in surprise. She scissored her legs around his waist, squeezing him inside her, liking the moan he let out, and reached down to the hem of his shirt pushed it up and he helped to remove it as he tugged it over his head. "You're so damned hot." she whispered, breathlessly. He had scars on top of scars but she only cared about the muscles and hot skin right now.

Joss leaned forward to press her lips against his neck then moved to his shoulder that made him shudder as she licked and sucked at it. She repeated the action and achieved the same response. Smiling against his skin she rubbed his chest, flicking his nipples, before sliding across his well-defined abdomen, all the way down to where they were joined intimately. The muscles bunched there and she sucked at his neck, as her hand snaked down and around to cup his balls. Joss wanted him to feel wanted and desired for more than just his manhood.

John, unable to take anymore of her exploration, pushed her back and grabbed her hips as he pounded inside her hard and loved the way she came apart in his arms in minutes. Thankfully too, because he couldn't ward off his own impending orgasm much longer as the familiar ball of tension coiled deep in his loins and lower back, and, as he felt his dick jerk inside her, he pulled out just in the nick of time, and spilt himself all over her stomach. He had nearly forgotten the fact that he wasn't wearing a condom something he always remembered. She whimpered as he came coating her stomach in an erotic display of the need he had for her, along with a heart-stopping moan of her name.

He shuddered and sighed as he hadn't come quite that hard in a very long time. After several moments he became aware of his surroundings instead of the buzzing in his ears and the utter satisfaction he felt. He collapsed on top of her, making a mess of them both, before lifting just his head to look at her, and thought she was just as beautiful when sweaty and sated.

"Thank god you did that. I forgot I'm not on any form of contraceptive and the condoms are in the bathroom." she admitted breathlessly, one baby right now was more than enough for her to handle. Not to mention it was erotic seeing what kind of effect she had on him.

He smiled at her. "I didn't even wait long enough to find condoms. I've never wanted to get inside a woman as much as I wanted to get in you," he said roughly, as he breathed heavy himself.

Joss lifted her head up and kissed him tenderly and she made a sound of protest as he lifted his heavy weight off her and she felt the loss instantly. He straightened fully kicking his shorts and underwear off his ankle. "Speaking of the bathroom; I think we could use a shower," he admitted with a small smile as he scooped her up into his arms. She was left to wrap her arms around his neck and wiggle her toes as her legs dangled over his forearm.

"Mmm…you scrub my back and I scrub yours."

The look on his face was distinctively male. "I've got more in mind than just your back." he purred as he pressed his lips to hers. She sighed and had a feeling she was in for a long night of feeding more than just Taylor. 

* * *

Joss awoke a tad sore, though John had been thorough in his attention, and tired but a smile slipped on her face. Last night had been amazing. John was quite domineering in bed. He was demanding from her but equally generous with his own body and response.

In amidst of the love fest Taylor had gotten up twice; first time he was hungry, and the second time he wanted a change of diaper. Both times John had gotten up with her and helped. Joss showed him how to change Taylor and feed him. She liked that he wanted to help and John took to it easily and he turned to mush holding her son as he fed him then burped him. Joss nearly pounced on him the moment he climbed back in bed with her but chose to make love to him slowly and tenderly. Joss wanted him to feel the difference between what they were doing and what he was used too.

She shifted her gaze off the ceiling to the man that was snoring beside her and her smile softened. He slept on her other pillow, was flat on his stomach, and had his arms under the pillow. John's face was toward her and she couldn't help but stare at him. Asleep he looked so vulnerable…his face that usually was lined with tension or guilt was free of that. Joss wasn't sure what happened to send him right to her and give into their attraction but she was damn glad it did. Now she needed to tell him the truth of what she expected from this.

Joss slid from bed needing to get ready for work. She hurried to the bathroom naked and in need to use the restroom. After peeing, she took a quick shower just to wash up, then brushed her teeth, and combed her hair knowing she needed more time to condition it. So she left it natural but pulled it back into a tight ponytail all the while thinking. Today her mother couldn't watch Taylor; she had doctor appointments and weekly lunch with friends. Usually Joss just paid the neighbor, who was a stay-at-home-mother of three, to watch Taylor. As she exited the bathroom she eyed the sleeping man in her bed and had an idea.

She got dressed and ready for work and when she turned she saw he was watching her with interest. "Sorry, no repeat from last night, I have got to get my ass to work," she murmured, knowing that look already.

John rolled onto his side and stared at her. "I can be fast."

She snorted. "Yea, how come I don't believe that?" she wondered mildly. Perhaps it was the fact that John made lovemaking a marathon. It seemed to heighten his pleasure the more he got her off…the male ego was a mysterious and sometimes wondrous thing. Joss gulped as he pushed the comforter off his long and lean form showing her how erect he was. "Uh…well, as much as I would love to take care of that problem you got there, I need to get to work." she said. She had a son to support and had taken a lot of time off already before maternity leave.

John sat up and grinned as Joss backpedaled from him. Oh, he could catch her and he was going to but in due time. But he knew she had a son to support. He needed to go too. Get some space and think about what happened. Sex was simple. But last night wasn't mere sex. And he didn't remember the last time he ever woke up at a woman's place.

"Taylor will be up in another hour and I have an entire day's worth of bottles ready for him. He usually feeds every three to four hours, and just warm them up as I showed you. Taylor prefers them tepid so not hot nor cold. Also, just remember to burp him after and have his spit up rag ready to go. His naptime schedule is on the refrigerator so try to keep to it. Oh, his toys and books are downstairs as well as in his nursery. You should find enough things to do together while I'm gone." she instructed knowing he was going to get with it soon enough which was going to deflate him so to speak.

The sexy smile on his face froze as he did on the bed. "Wait, what?" he asked.

Joss needed to get the hell out of here before he could. She approached him and pressed her lips against his in a lengthy hard kiss which he responded too. She stepped back as he reached out to grab her. "You two boys have fun now." said Joss, as she backpedaled quickly.

"Joss, wait!—you're not thinking of leaving him with me!"

She whirled around and rushed out snatching her shoes as she went. She could hear him rustling to get dressed and she took the steps two at a time. If she could get the hell out of her place before he could get dressed then she was home free. John would never leave her son alone. He was a good man and she was going to prove it to him. And when she got back after work they were going to talk about what happened last night and how she wasn't a one night kind of woman. He came to her for loving not the other way around so he had to deal with the pitfalls of that which included a serious conversation.

Joss stomped her feet into her pumps as she exited out onto the front stoop only pausing long enough to grab her holster and hearing John calling her name from upstairs. "I have another unused toothbrush in the cabinet under the sink which you are welcome to use. Maybe there are some male toiletries left over from Paul in there too. But I'll see you after work!" she called out laughingly as she ran down the steps and was grateful she had put in some extra exercise in so she wouldn't be out of breath from running from upstairs down to her car before a man that moved with speed could.

She hopped into her car hurriedly rolling down the passenger side window as she turned the engine on as John appeared in her doorway looking furious but also sexy as hell in just his khaki shorts that were unbuttoned. She knew firsthand that his tan-line was low on his hips and he was looking mighty fine and he was hers! She waved at him and pulled away from the curb without another word, snickering to herself that she just outfoxed the fox.

John glared down Joss's street angrily as her car disappeared from his view. That little…he scowled as he whirled around and stomped back into her place slamming the door shut so hard that it rattled on its hinges. He just got outplayed and he damn well didn't like it. John angrily snapped his button of his shorts. What the hell did Joss think she was doing?—leaving him, alone, with her infant son! What if he hurt him?—men like him shouldn't be taking care of something so little and innocent. Taylor was the very definition of perfection.

Panic surged freely inside him as he pulled out his burner phone, and tried to call Joss's phone, which was ignored. Leaving a scathing voicemail demanding she come back would probably earn her some chuckles and he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. He angrily called Harold next needing some advice but instead of Harold answering it was Grace.

"Grace put Harold on," he barked. No offense to Grace but she was a female and was sure she'd take Joss's side.

"Well hello to you too." she said sounding amused. "Harold is asleep still. He had a rather hard therapy yesterday. But if you reroute your attitude, me and you can talk," she chirped cheerfully.

John swallowed back his anger and fear because Grace didn't deserve it. "I'm sorry, Grace…."

"So tell me about what's got you all riled up?—it must be Joss related. What did she do: make you want to live again, or make you feel like a man again, or a little of both?"

He scowled at the phone. "This isn't funny, Grace."

"I'm not being funny." she said softly. He stood still, clutching the phone so tightly he heard the plastic making popping noises. "John, what's wrong?"

"She left me with her son!"

Grace frowned. "Joss abandoned her son?" she asked incredulously.

"No!—Joss, apparently doesn't have a babysitter and left him with me and conveniently let me know of this plan as she was practically running out the door," he growled.

Grace eyeballed her watch and then smiled widely. "Care to explain to me why you are Joss's place at seven in the morning?" she asked coyly, knowing damn well that he slept there last night.

"Grace…" he warned sounding very much like a surly bear. "What am I supposed to do with a three month old?"

"You take care of him," she supplied, stating the obvious. He cursed making her giggle. "Oh sweetheart, Joss wouldn't have left Taylor in your capable hands if she didn't trust you to handle it," she reasoned gently.

John closed his eyes and tried to count to ten. "Grace, I've changed him and fed him once but Joss was there to help me."

Grace rolled her eyes. John was just scared and would be fine. "John you used to diffuse bombs, eliminate terrorists, and other threats to national security for a living but you can't handle a teeny baby?" she asked.

"Grace, have you changed a dirty diaper or fed a baby before?" he snapped, not seeing this as funny as he climbed Joss's steps heading for her bathroom to get that toothbrush she mentioned.

She chuckled. "No, I haven't but you'll be fine. Have fun, John!" she said before hurriedly hanging up on him.

He glowered at the phone as he pulled it away from his ear as a dial tone rang through his ear signaling that Grace had hung up on him. John, stowing his phone back away in his back pocket, rummaged through the cabinet under the sink and found the toothbrush she mentioned along with some leftover male essentials obviously left when Paul bailed on her. He proceeded to brush his teeth and spray some deodorant on before combing his hair.

Pausing only long enough to draw his shirt on John forced his irritation down as he entered Taylor's room and looked down in the crib seeing that he was wide eyed and staring up at him with legs kicking. "Women, right?" he grumbled to Taylor. Taylor smiled at him and John couldn't help but return it. He bent and picked the little boy up. "They drive us men up a wall, and that includes your mother too." A gurgle from Taylor affirmed his sentiment as John carried him to the changing table. John smiled as Taylor sucked on his fingers while letting him undo his dinosaur onesies. "Us men need to stick together, right?" he murmured as he proceeded to change Taylor's diaper. After he cleaned Taylor, put a fresh diaper on, and changed him into a blue/gray short sleeve shirt and a matching pair of little pants he picked the little boy up. "Come on kiddo, let's go get some food and we'll collaborate on a way to teach your mommy a lesson."

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AN: I wanted to give John some Taylor time :)

Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: I am sorry for the long stretch between updates.  
**_

_**Also I am going to post two chapters together to make up for the lacking updates. Since today is Tuesday I'll even try to get another two posted by the end of this week and get caught up since I didn't post once last week :(**_

_**Both these chapters I'm posting today will have lots of smut because I'm plying you with some loving before chaos erupts.**_

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Joss stayed away the entire day even though she nearly caught herself calling home three or four times wanting to see how John and Taylor gotten on. But she refused to give into the curiosity killing her. Instead she focused on her work and seeing if Root had found out anything. Root didn't respond which she hoped meant good news.

Now since work was over and she had stayed out as long as she could; she needed to head home and face the music. But she'd just help John understand that there were real feelings between them and she wanted him to understand that she trusted him implicitly. They both knew that Taylor was her world and letting him take care of her son, alone, and entrusted with his safety was the best way of showing him that trust whether or not he wanted it.

Joss arrived home and unlocked her door using her keys after testing the knob. After entering she resisted from calling out, instead focusing on removing her holster, and relocking up her home. Joss sighed, glad to be home as it was damn hot out and she missed her guys. "John," she called out and received no answer. Great, he was giving her the silent treatment. He was probably in her kitchen stewing more than dinner was.

She moved quietly away from the foyer but stopped dead as she looked into the living room. The TV was on a baseball game, and John was stretched out on the couch with Taylor sound asleep on his chest as John had a protective arm wrapped around him. Joss smiled as the image of the two boys sleeping on the couch made her insides melt quicker than an ice cream cone on a summer day. If she was honest with herself she was already in love with John. But even with the fact that John was nothing like Paul, trying again with a man that was far more emotionally walled off than Paul gave her pause. Did she really want to go down that road again? Her eyes drifted down on the man sleeping with her son nestled safely on top of him. The answer was yes. Because while Paul didn't want to change or seek help, John did, John had come here on his own accord and she took that as his way of showing her he wanted to open up but just didn't know how.

Joss moved closer and John's eyes snapped open and she held her hands out so he'd relax and not wake Taylor. He stared up at her and then relaxed though his blue eyes blazed with anger immediately. She smiled crookedly as she took her son from him. Without a word she carried her sleeping baby up to his crib and cooed at him before settling him down. Taking the baby monitor with her she squared her shoulders ready for John's anger and headed back downstairs.

She found John standing and pacing, glaring at her as she entered, and she set the baby monitor walkie-talkie on the mantle. "I take it your still angry at how I forced you to babysit," she commented, knowing that was a real understatement.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he growled.

"I was thinking that you are doing absolutely nothing right now other than brood that you could help me out with babysitting my son," she replied simply. John's whole body vibrated with anger and it was a glorious sight.

"What if Snow came by?" he all but growled.

She snorted. "If you think I'd believe you'd answer the door or believe that even if Snow broke in that you wouldn't handle him with your brand of ass-kicking then you're crazy because I don't believe either one. You brought Elias to his knees literally and you are far too paranoid and smart to answer the door," she told him as she folded her arms across her chest. "But that's not what got you angry with me," she added.

"Oh, do tell, Joss, why am I angry with you?" he snarled, despising the fact that she seemed to know him better than he knew himself.

Joss grinned at how surly he had become. Someone sure didn't like being told how he felt before he had a chance to process it. Not her concern or problem. "You're angry that I left Taylor with you because I showed you trust that you don't think you deserve. But most of all you're angry that I left Taylor with you because I showed you that you aren't who you think you are," she said as she stepped closer to him.

"Oh?—and what am I not, Joss?" his voice sounded cold and gravelly.

"A monster," she answered readily, seeing him flinch. Joss moved quickly before he could and she rested her palms on his cheeks, forcing his gaze on hers.

He grabbed her hips tightly as he stared into her deep brown eyes and refused to see what she saw. "You think leaving your infant son with me proves to me I'm not."

She refused to break the eye contact as she held his gaze ruthlessly. "I don't know, you tell me, John. Taylor sure looked safe and content sleeping in your arms, the arms of a supposed monster held my helpless son like the most precious thing on Earth," she observed and he stared at her, unable to argue with her. And then they were kissing, who made the first move she couldn't be sure, but in their kiss she felt his desperation to believe her. He wanted to but wasn't convinced. So she set out to make him accept the truth as she took control of his kiss by thrusting her tongue deep into his mouth, rubbing sinfully against his, to sooth and seduce as she let her hands slide from his face to bury in his hair.

He moaned as his anger seemed to fade into the nether as their bodies pressed close as he encircled her waist with his arms. She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth before pulling back and rested her forehead against his chin. His breath came out quick, matching hers. She licked her lips, loving the fact that she still tasted him there. Joss let one hand sneak down from his hair to tap at his heart that beat wildly. A part of her wanted to forego this conversation and take what he'd offer so freely: his body. No doubt if she ground her pelvis against him the heady and thick primal attraction would take over and they'd be in her bed in no time, taking them both to heights unknown. But the larger part of her couldn't let it go, not when she wanted was what he was scared to believe he even had left: his heart.

Joss lifted her head and met his eyes that so reminded her of the ocean under a bright sunny sky. The blues and greens melded together under long lashes were captivating. They shimmered with an unnamed emotion. She could almost hear the alarm bells ringing off the hook in his mind but he stood still.

"Why did you come over last night?" she asked. And like that the haze surrounding him cleared up and he backed away from her or tried too because she followed him. It was time he faced the truth.

"I wanted sex."

Joss snorted. "You could have gone to any number of women would gladly spread their legs for you but you didn't choose the faceless, nameless, meaningless women…you chose me and I'm none of those."

"We're attracted to each other, Joss, maybe I just wanted to exorcise it," he suggested, though even knew he didn't sound convincing.

She nodded. "And I would have agreed with that if you weren't so dead set on staying away from me for my _protection_," she said with irritation making her enunciate the word 'protection' as if it was a curse word. "Something changed your mind and I want to know what that something is."

"I came here, because you wouldn't stay away from me even though it's for your own good, and I was going to make you listen by scaring you off. I was going to be cruel and hurt you, scare you, and be the monster I know I am but the moment you opened the damned door and I saw you…" he trailed off on a rough breath.

Joss believed him. She believed he had come over with every intention of breaking her heart to make her steer clear of him, to run her off because of what happened in her car. But he hadn't, or couldn't, and it was the reason why he hadn't that intrigued her. John had cut Jessica out of his life without a second thought, and then pined away for her for years. Using her as a means to keep everyone out, built walls up so high that they were insurmountable for the average woman, but then she wasn't the average woman. Joss latched on the fact that he had come by last night to do one thing but did the exact opposite. He wanted to be cruel to her, to make her hate him but instead, last night, he made her love him.

"And when you saw me you knew that no matter how monstrous you tried to be to me I would never just give up," she supplied.

John ran a hand through his hair. "No, actually when I saw you I couldn't lose you," he muttered shakily. "Then we kissed and lust took over."

She smiled. "That just proves that you aren't the monster you think you are," she insisted and he looked at her questioningly. "You came here last night to make me hate you but you only succeeded in making me love you even more. And then seeing you with my son that just seals my fate…I'm yours no matter what," she said on a stuttering breath. As easily as she said it, it had taken lots of courage to put herself out there, with the distinct possibility of getting her heart trampled on by a man who was emotionally closed off. John walled himself off; not just to keep others out but she suspected it was almost to keep the 'beast' in.

His lips parted as John appeared rattled by her declaration. Joss gasped as he reached out and held her cheeks tightly, fingers biting into her skin, as he stared into her eyes. He vibrated with tension but his touch gentled. "Don't say that if you don't mean it," he ordered gruffly.

She smoothed her hands over his chest and felt the way his heart rate had picked up. Joss searched his gaze. Anger bubbled up in her. "I never say what I don't mean, John. Don't lump me into your past. I'm not like…" she didn't even finish whatever else she had to say because John's mouth came crashing down on hers in an explosive kiss. It made her ache to think he was so hungry for love.

Joss found herself swept up into his arms as he carried her upstairs towards her bedroom. The rest of what she wanted to say was gone. Her desire to spell it out to him and what she wanted from this went up in smoke as their combustible heat consumed them both. The moment her feet touched the floor she pushed out of the kiss to attack his clothes.

"I really need you to make love to me," she whispered harshly as she grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it up. "Tomorrow, go home and pack some clothes. Stay with me for a while," she ordered as his shirt was discarded and she lowered her mouth to suck at one nipple and scrapping her nails across his ribcage loving the feel of his muscles ripple under her touch.

"Still bossy as ever," he grumbled.

Joss let a hand cover his rock hard erection and patted him as she lifted her mouth off his chest with a smirk. "You can try to deny it all you want but you like it when I boss you around," she asserted.

John pushed her back a little and grabbed her shirt tugging until it was freed from the waistband of her slacks. He didn't politely take it off but rather he tugged and buttons popped off and she glared at him as he tugged the sides until she was pressed against his chest.

"This was my favorite shirt!"

"I don't like it." he lied, as he palmed her breasts. Anything she wore was fine by him but he liked making her mad.

She snorted. "My wardrobe wasn't meant to please anyone but me," she grumbled crossly. "But out of morbid curiosity, what do you like me to wear?" she asked, unable to help herself. He exposed a breast and he licked teasingly around her nipple never taking a swipe and she hissed in frustration as her hands grabbed at his head. "JOHN!"

"I like you in absolutely nothing," he rasped before latching a hungry mouth on her breast and drew on her nipple hard before gentling the pressure as she keened out a cry. His hands dropped to her butt and squeezed.

Joss pushed back and they both began attacking each other's clothes to get them off quickly. "Nothing," she scoffed as she bit at his shoulder. "I'd be arrested for indecent exposure."

He laughed and she liked the sexy rumble. "Spoken like a true cop, Joss," he teased, as he pushed her pants down just as she did the same for him with his shorts.

"I'll show you. Give me half a second and you'll be cuffed to my bed," she growled as she pushed his boxer-briefs down along with his shorts and moaned as he jutted free long, thick, and ready to please her. Her hands wrapped around the shaft of his penis and rubbed from base to tip eagerly.

It was his turn to moan as he kissed her as they both stepped out of their clothes before she found herself lifted onto her bed and John was climbing on top of her. They kissed passionately as their hands roamed over their bodies causing heat to spike as John's thick cock throbbed against her thigh. Her legs spread as a ridiculous amount of wetness spilled from her as John's left hand slipped between her legs to tease her.

John hissed out a breath as he slid first one then two fingers deep into her easily. He had been hoping she was ready but hadn't expected her to be quite so wet. He barely sat back and reached over to her nightstand for a condom. Expertly he rolled one onto his aching flesh and honed in on her entrance as her legs spread wide to welcome him inside her. Her body greedily took him in as he leaned over and she wrapped her arms and legs around him. They both gasped before he bent his head and took her mouth with his.

Joss moaned as John's mouth was making her blind with lust as his tongue mimicked his body's movement. In and out, slowly but steady, and in no hurry; her legs wrapped tight around his waist holding him deep inside her. This was a distinct difference from the frantic coupling they did last night. Kisses were pleasurable but nothing like this. John was literally making love to her mouth as it seemed he was very much a kisser during sex. She moaned as he slid his hands under her, cupping her butt and lifting, the angle had John penetrating her even further and finally he released her lips as she cried out as she dug her nails into his shoulders.

"God, Joss," he whispered roughly as he sped up his movements by a fraction.

"Me!" she gasped. "You're killing me with this pace," she growled as she tightened herself around his dick that was buried deep inside her. Maybe if she made him insane with need he'd speed his ass up.

He shuddered as he felt her squeeze him in a vise grip, so that every push forward he was thrusting into her narrow channel. "Like that, don't you?" she teased, like the vixen she was. He couldn't speak as she tightened her vaginal walls around him. Her snicker spurred him on as he thrust into her harder. He lowered his mouth determined to cease her laughter and replace it with cries of his name as he licked her taut dark nipple earning a sigh of his name.

Joss made a loud sound that she didn't even understand as his one hand slipped from her butt sneaking between them and found her clit with pinpoint accuracy. She bucked against him as her orgasm was building as she felt like she was growing ever closer to the edge.

He rolled them over and she gaped down at him as she was sat perched on top of him, with him buried to the hilt in her, and he grinned up at her that was doing something to her internally, as he slowly lifted his arms up and leaned his head on them like a pillow.

"Fuck me, Joss."

She didn't need to be told twice and proceeded to ride him hard wiping that cocky smile off his face replacing it with intense pleasure. Her pace was fast and furious to get them both off in record time and the moment her orgasm slammed into her, she thrust down on him so hard she thought she impaled him through her. Her entire body stiffened on top of him as she cried out his name, she barely felt his hands on her hips as he thrust up into her shuddering pussy before finding his own release. Joss was focused on the bursting light behind her eyes as the spasms rippling through her seemed to never end.

When finally it was over Joss limply collapsed onto his chest in sweaty and sated bliss, and his arms came around her holding her. Ragged breathing filled the room. Damn, what she wouldn't do to have him inside her without latex as a barrier.

She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. "I love you Joss," came a rough whisper in her hair.

Joss lifted her head to stare down at him. She didn't ask him to repeat it as it was written plainly across his face. She wanted to devour him at the moment. This beautiful, vulnerable, courageous man was in love with her. But she knew that nothing ever came easily so she wanted to wait for the rest. John was a zebra with stripes and couldn't sprout spots all of a sudden. He was solitary and emotionally walled off. Telling him that she loved him and making love to him wouldn't miraculously change that.

"But I don't think it will work out," he added. And there it was. She was glad she tempered her reaction so she wouldn't feel massive disappointment. Yes, he loved her, but he wasn't willing to try because of his past. John was going to let them enjoy each other in the present but not commit to a future together.

"Why?" she asked finally.

He stared at her as he pushed her hair out from covering her face. "It never has before. I'm not sure if you know this or not Joss, but letting people in isn't my strong suit."

She chuckled when his lips twitched into a tiny self-deprecating smile at his own honesty. "You don't say?" she said lightly before growing serious. "I'll admit I feel like I managed to walk through one door just to come up to another and then another. But I feel close John: I feel like I'm at the glass screen door where I can see in but not get in." she whispered and lowered her face close to his and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss.

"You are," he rasped, going along with her analogy.

Joss tucked that in a safe place in her heart knowing that was a tough admission for him to make. "We'll work out." she vowed against his warm lips, wanting her conviction to seep into him.

John pulled his head back to stare up into her midnight eyes. "How can you be so sure?" he wondered.

She rubbed his body as she watched him. Finally she said; "Because when I look inside there's no dark beast lurking but rather just a man, who lost a lot and loves deeply, that is being locked up for no reason. I want to set him free." in a soft whisper as she leaned back and pressed a kiss to where his heart was pounding. "I will set him free so he can be happy; just as happy as he makes me." she vowed.

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AN: John really is no match for Joss Carter. :)

Thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Multiple times last night John had fought the urge to bolt out the door. Joss loved him. He loved her; even told her so, which was a first. Joss just sort of sparked that sort of change. She was open, honest, and brave so he was inspired to replicate it. But still the niggling doubts that he wasn't good enough, that he would only hurt her, and had a bullseye on his back remained. Joss couldn't love Paul after learning he was a murderer and god knew he did worse things than Paul.

"Don't."

John blinked as he shifted to look down at her as she rested on his chest but instead of sleeping she had awakened and was looking up at him. She was snuggled up against him as their legs were intertwined and he had been rubbing a hand absently up and down her bare back.

She moved until she was lying with her face nearer, lush breasts pressed against his side, and the desire to kiss her skyrocketed nearly as high as his cock rose. He groaned as her subtlest move turned him on. The grin that stole her mouth was provocative and knowing; he had half the mind to turn that grin into something else. His gaze roamed over her dark nipples, glad to see that she wasn't shy to show off her incredible body even with the scar marring one side of her stomach and another that proved she was a mother. Those scars just made her even hotter because she was real and genuine.

"Don't what?" he asked gruffly as he let his hand stray to her butt and slip between her legs from behind. He ran his fingers over her creamy seam finding she was wet which was what he was hoping for.

Joss moaned and wiggled away before he could turn her on more. "I can't think with your hand there," she grumbled as she reached around her and grabbed his wayward hand and set it above his head. "Keep it there until I said what I wanted to say," she instructed sternly.

"And if I don't?" he asked with a cock of a brow, never one to follow rules. And why would he when he was hard and she was wet and ready for his loving? He saw a better use for their time than talking.

Joss leaned her face close to his ear. "You'll receive a nice reward if you do," she breathed huskily. Oh, the possibilities, and it was that fact which had him behave. She pressed a kiss to the shell of his ear and leaned back happy with his compliance. "Thought that would get you to comply; but I think it's time to tell you some cold hard facts. It was something I meant to do before tumbling into bed with you. But I needed you and you needed me so I can't apologize for how things turned out."

He eyed her warily. "What cold hard facts, Joss?" he asked quietly.

"First, I don't want you to withdraw inward, John. I know it's asking you to do something completely different than you're used to but I don't fall in love easily or in half measures. You have all of me, the good, the bad, and everything between. And I won't accept anything less from you."

He stared at her. She was asking for something he wasn't sure he could give her. He never could before; he had kept a part of himself from everyone including Jessica. And she never asked for that part of him that he kept separate but Joss wasn't just asking she was demanding it.

Joss's gaze was intense and waiting for a response. He finally looked away as he said; "You won't want me once you know everything."

Her lips thinned into a tight line. "Why not?" she demanded as she grabbed his cheek forcing his gaze back on her. "What past deed is so bad that I won't be able to overlook?" Joss frowned as he slid from bed and proceeded to dress. Joss angrily got to her feet too. She snagged his shirt before he could and pulled it on, not about to have a fight naked. He still hadn't answered her. Hadn't she just asked him not to withdraw inward on her? "You love me right?" she demanded as she folded her arms over her chest to glare up at him.

"Yes,"

"Then talk to me!" she ordered. John's gaze was heavy. "Give me the respect to decide for myself if your past is so horrible that I can't look past it."

"You truly want to know?" he asked softly. "You want to know the kind of man that was inside you and held your son?"

Joss tried to control her temper but failed. "Stop pulling the martyr routine it's repetitive and unnecessary. And stop treating me like some dimwitted woman who needs a man to take care of her. That might have been what your ex needed but I don't."

John moved quickly and she swallowed hard as she found herself pressed against the wall, next to her nightstand, her hands pinned with his against it, and his face close to hers. She swallowed back a moan of desire at the display of pure angry male. His eyes were nearly black as night from anger, no, not anger but fury. If only he knew that this did nothing to intimidate her because she knew he could never hurt her, and served to only turn her on further. What was to show her that his strength outmatched hers only managed to make her slick with need that required only his loving to satisfy. But she remained silent as she waited to see what he said or did.

"I'm just like Paul but worse. I've murdered people for the CIA that were good people because I didn't bother to question the orders," he bit out darkly. "I took their lives and didn't think twice of it. And if Harold hadn't gotten Peter, the man who killed Jessica, arrested then I would have gladly killed him too. Not for money, not for work, but because he took her from me. And I would have made him suffer; I'm good at torture, Joss. I've tortured men for information making them crack, beg for mercy, and then murdered them. We disposed of them and some families are probably still wondering where their loved ones are," he explained with coldness to his voice.

She stared into his hard eyes and saw him waiting for her condemnation. But she wasn't going to comply. Not when he was doing the exact thing she wanted: being honest, and open with her though in anger. Maybe if she didn't know John, truly know him, maybe she would have persecuted him, but she knew his heart even if he didn't.

"If you're looking for me to hate you, to use it to hurt you, I don't and won't. You seem to forget I was on the other side myself. I've seen men follow orders even though they were cruel and inhumane. Those acts took a vital part of the soldiers away from them, just as what the CIA asked you to do took a vital part of you from you. John, you realized the truth, a little late, but better than never. You questioned their authority and now are wanted dead for it. You saved Harold when you realized he wasn't what the CIA claimed. He's alive because of you. And as for wanting Peter dead because of what he did to Jessica, a woman you loved…grief makes us act unlike ourselves because I will never believe you that you could kill without conscious," she said simply but forcefully.

He made a sound that she couldn't define and he kissed her harshly. Their lips smashed together in a rough kiss and Joss wiggled her hands free running them over his hard body. Joss heard a soft scratching noise and realized John hadn't moved his hands from the wall but rather was clawing the wall as if forcing to keep his hands from grabbing her. She broke the kiss to attack his neck. She licked the patch of skin between her lips as she sucked gently.

"You hated Paul, why not me?" he ground out.

After a gentle suck at his neck she pulled back to stare into his hooded eyes. His face was a mask of emptiness but his eyes showed his confusion and hope. Joss reached up and cupped his cheek. "You're different, John," she began. He was listening but she didn't think he was hearing her. So she continued; "Paul chose that dark path. The dark path found you."

She tapped his lips as he opened his mouth to, no doubt, argue with her. John quietly snapped them closed to let her finish. "John, you proved to me you were a good man the day we met. You were a grieving, betrayed, homeless drunk that was on the verge of ending it all when you chose to help me for no other reason than because it was right," she explained as she soothed him with gentle strokes of her hands.

"Doesn't negate all the bad, Joss…."

Joss searched his gaze and saw the hardness fading and the softer he grew the more malleable he was to see her viewpoint. "Maybe you're right that it doesn't, but, the bad mistakes you made up to now doesn't negate all the good you've done either. I've learned the hard way that not everything is black and white, John. Good people make bad decisions just as bad people make good decisions. After what I went through with Elias it was an eye-opener that there is more of a grey area in life. My whole life I thought there was just a right and wrong way, without any middle, it was either or, but there is more. There is a middle ground because you lived in it thanks to the CIA and it nearly destroyed you. But it didn't and you didn't turn into this monster you think you are because that goodness in you made you strong enough to endure."

"Joss…"

She leaned forward pressing a tender kiss to his jaw. "Alone we're strong but together were stronger," she added, pressing her lips against his jawline in chaste kisses, moving along until she kissed his chin. "Alone we're _both_ good people but together we're better," she whispered before pressing a tender kiss to his lips that didn't respond. She could feel the tension churning in him. Joss pressed her lips a little harder on his and felt them soften under hers. She leaned back to nuzzle her nose with his before kissing his upper lip and felt him respond a little more. Again and again she pressed small kisses and felt his response grow a little bit more each time. But this time she rested her lips against his to whisper; "You told me about your worst moments and I still love you, John."

John slammed his eyes closed as he shook violently and she kissed him feeling a floodgate of emotion pour out of him. He grabbed a hold of her tightly and ravaged her mouth with his. She sighed as she felt the torrent of pent up feelings he was harboring and she happily let herself get swept up in the storm. Joss, gently grabbed his hips and led him towards her bed, and he easily came with her. She spun them and pushed him onto the bed, breaking the kiss, and she climbed on top of him.

"You think I'm perfect, and while I'm more of a realist knowing you aren't perfect; you are perfect for me because I'll still love the broken pieces of you, John," she said roughly as she pulled his shirt over her head and flung it off the bed.

"I don't deserve you," he rasped in his low voice.

Joss lowered her face near his. "I'll decide what I deserve or don't," she purred. "To you, your kisses are like a poison, infecting me, and tainting me. But for me, they are like a drug that I crave. I'm addicted to the slow, deep, and passionate kisses as much as I hunger for the furious mating of our mouths as our tongues tangle, and war for dominance."

He moaned as he moved his head just right and gave her one of those slow, deep kisses that obliterated the part of her brain that made her able to speak. His hands buried in her hair and she felt his semi-hard cock thicken and harden. It was time to let that bad boy out to play.

Joss pulled free of his delicious kiss to press her lips to his neck and kissed her way down his stomach. "Now, I need to reward you for keeping your hands up."

"Joss…" he spoke gruffly but she ignored him as she continued to lick, kiss, and nibble her way down his belly loving the dips her tongue took as it glided over his muscles. Her tongue delved into his naval before nipping at the scar she found on his abdomen, and then licked his skin that had a salty tang to it as she undid his fly and parted it like the Red Sea. She licked and sucked his birthmark that was hidden in his treasure trail arrowing down to the part of his anatomy that was throbbing for her attention.

She pulled back and sat on her knees as his cock was pressing the front of the shorts up. Joss grabbed the waistband and pulled them down his body, depositing them on the floor along with his shirt. She made no trip back up his body instead simply staring at his erection. He was so hard. Straining and a deep red, with all the blood rushing there, and she rubbed a thumb over his tip. John groaned loudly and she smirked as she felt a bead of moisture gather there. Joss rubbed it over the large mushroomed head. The power in his thick penis was truly a marvel. She wanted to wrap her lips and tongue around it and feel the power firsthand but harness it and control it as she pleasured him.

Joss didn't say a word as she lowered her mouth down and licked him playfully feeling him tense on the bed even as he let out a strangled moan. Joss used her other hand to push him back. She trailed just her tongue down his rigid shaft taking her time to trace the delicious vein that bulged out there.

"Joss, get up here." he ordered roughly.

"Hmmm…" she sounded as she licked her way back up and washed her tongue on the underside of his penis that had him grabbing the comforter under him in fists as his hips jerked up. Joss smirked; his body and brain weren't on the same page because it seemed to her that his body liked where she was quite well. "Someone here is a control freak and, for once, it isn't me." she teased.

What he wanted to say was lost in a long moan of her name as she palmed his balls and wrapped her lips around him. She took an inch more of him into her mouth and gently sucked as she wrapped her free hand around his straining flesh. Good lord, her mouth was like heaven. Her head dipped down as she took more of his thick length into her mouth that had him cursing and tilting his hips up.

She was careful to keep her teeth from scraping against him as she hallowed her cheeks as she sucked on him stronger. His one hand found its way into her hair as he thrust his hips and she found it hot as he fucked her mouth, yet being mindful enough not to choke her. She could feel how close he was; his dick was pulsating under her tongue. It seemed John enjoyed being in her mouth like she enjoyed having his mouth on her judging from how close he was so quickly.

Joss pulled her mouth off him and pressed a kiss to his belly that was clenched tight. His dick straining for her and a pearly white drop was slicking the tip, and knew it would take one stroke or one suck and he'd lose it. Her sex was on fire from just bringing him to the point of his release. His eyes opened and he was breathing heavy. She made a move to take him back into her mouth when he stopped her. He sat up, with eyes dark with desire, and roughly grabbed her thighs flipping her onto her back.

Her head hung over the foot of the bed and she watched as he knelt between her legs and buried his mouth between her legs without hesitation making her cry out. Her hips jerked up and he grabbed a hold of her thighs keeping her spread apart for his loving. His exploration was thorough; knowing how she liked it and gave it to her quickly. His tongue lashed her clit again and again, circling it, flicking it, before giving it a long nice lick and generally driving her insane. John slid his tongue into her pussy and she felt her vision tunnel.

"John…" she whimpered as her hips rotated back and forth riding his tongue before he slid back to her clitoris and latched his hungry mouth on to it and sucked her with just the right amount of pressure. Joss let out a loud cry of his name as she came with little effort, his mouth drawing her orgasm out as tremors rocked through her.

His painfully hard dick hardened further. Pleasuring her excited him and this time was no different but he was already excited from being in her mouth. He stared down at her as let himself cool down a bit even though it was the last thing his body wanted. But it became imperative that he relaxed as Joss lied before him and he wanted to be buried inside her and take her the way he wanted too. He had been barely restraining himself, but now, now he was going to do exactly what he wanted: fuck her brains out.

She barely became aware of the fact that John was sitting up and rolling a condom on his erect cock. He flipped her onto her stomach, and she gasped, as he spread her legs wide as he tilted her ass up and slid into the hilt in her on one long thrust. They both let out a long mutual moan of pleasure.

"You're mine now, Joss, heaven help you but you're mine," he ground out, squeezing her perfect ass cheeks in his greedy palms before giving them a hard slap. He perversely loved her cry of excitement, and repeated the sharp slap across her ass feeling the way she clenched around him in response.

Joss grabbed the comforter in her hands aroused to the point of pain. She wanted to speak and tell him that she wanted to be his but couldn't as the stinging pain in her ass didn't drown out the exquisite pleasure she was shrouded in as he thrust into her hard and fast. The dark wild ride was so fucking hot that she felt her orgasm building again.

John focused on marking her as his. This wasn't making love, this was branding. She was his. And he was hers. He thrust his hips back and forth quicker, liking the erotic music they created as he moved his hands up to her shoulders and held them as he brought her back on his rigid dick hard. Her back bowed as she flung her head back on another loud cry. He smiled as their eyes met. Unfortunately, this wasn't going to last long but it was going to be pure ecstasy for the while it did.

He closed his eyes as the familiar ball of tension grew in his loins and base of his spine. He thrust into her tight heat harder yet. "Fuck," he gasped needing to find release that he denied himself earlier.

Joss felt on the cusp of coming apart as she felt how frenzied he became, like he was on the brink but it just out of reach and was pounding away looking for oblivion. She felt him grab desperately at her hips and she rose up and twisted her body until she was kissing him, their lips warm and wet against each other's, and wrapping an arm around his neck. Her fingers dug into his hair that was spiky at the bottom from sweat. They both gasped at the different angle it put them. Her pussy tightened around him and he bucked against her, his hand on her hip, while the other played with her clitoris.

She ended the kiss to lean her head against his shoulder grabbing at his hand between her legs and pressed it more firmly on her clit trying to find release again, as she moved in time with his movements, even though she thought it was impossible. Her lips parted as she felt like she was about to explode. Wanting it more than breath itself. Beads of sweat dripped down her temples, some rolled between her breasts and down to her belly, and her butt felt slick from John's own fine sheen covering his body. They were both breathless, raggedly panting, flushed, and their moans of ecstasy were mixing together. John's loud roar of her name shattered her mind as she felt him slam his dick into her, stiffening, and holding still. She came a second later as she shuddered and cried his name as she hungrily urged his fingers to stroke her clit to draw it out.

When, at last, it was finally over they both fell to her bed breathless. She was on the bottom, with John, lying on top of her but with his weight on his forearms. His dick pulsed and throbbed as he emptied himself in the latex condom until he grew soft inside her. Her pussy shuddered and shook from the force of the last orgasm. If orgasms could cause brain damage then that would have definitely happened to her after that last one. It had made her feel like she was soaring outside of her body.

They lied that way for quite a while until she shivered a little from the coolness of the air touching her skin that was still overheated. Joss let out a moan of protest as John climbed off her and disposed of the condom in the wastebasket near her bed. John didn't respond as he softly cajoled her up and then scooped her up into his arms. She rested her head against his chest as he carried her into her bathroom. He set her down on the vanity and proceeded to run the shower. He turned and his blue eyes flared at the sight of her, and she knew how she looked…well fucked.

He didn't speak as he reached out and found her shower cap and helped get her hair under it before he turned and made sure the water was warm. Once happy with the temperature John lifted her up into his arms again and climbed into the shower. She sighed as she was set on her feet in front of the sprayer. He ran the soap all over her body washing every crevice and she equally enjoyed the same chance at reciprocating to him. After their lengthy shower and they dried each other off, he carried her to the bed where he pushed the comforter back and set her on it before climbing in behind her, and tugged her into his arms as he flipped the comforter over them.

Her eyes drifted close contentedly. Multiple orgasms relaxed you in a way nothing else could. "Sex burns 360 calories a hour." he whispered, a random fact.

She smiled though keeping her eyes shut. "So I can have cake and eat it too." she muttered which earned a snort of laughter from John. "A pig's orgasm lasts thirty minutes," she returned with one of her own factoid even though she wanted to fall asleep.

"Lucky pigs," John grumbled and she giggled as she snuggled closer to him. But before they could climb into their mutual endless vaults of useless information a distinct cry erupted from the baby monitor. John pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Go to sleep. I'll see what he needs." he instructed softly.

Joss nodded and let him go and watched him as he pulled on his underwear and disappeared from her room. She might be his, but John was very much hers.


	8. Chapter 8

Joss entered the pub where she agreed to meet Shaw at, deep in thought. Root was very secretive and wanted anonymity so everyone agreed that Shaw would be there go between.

Today was her day off and John agreed to watch Taylor for her so she could do 'errands' when what she really wanted to meet up with Shaw alone. Shaw wasn't a baby-person or really a person-person and she needed John and Shaw to meet under a more controlled setting like say; Shaw being plied full of steak to keep her crude humor to herself. Once she got this meeting over with, then she did really have to go get some groceries and come up with a plan at keeping John at her place just for one more night. Ah, who was she kidding, she wanted him to park his butt in her bed for all eternity. There was no going back now. She was in love, he was in love, but the only difference between them was that John would willingly walk away from her if he thought it was in her best interests. She rolled her eyes at the thought. As if it ever was in anyone's best interests to have the person you love leave you no matter how noble the cause. Being together made you stronger and it was that sentiment she was going to beat into his thick gorgeous head until it stuck. That disconnect that John had with the world was genuine. All she just needed to do was learn how to re-plug John in so to speak. Years of living alone, day in and day out, on the outskirts of a real life had done a number on him. But then years of relying on only herself had done a number on her too, so they both had some learning to do.

Maybe she'd find out some more of his secrets after another orgasmic round of lovemaking. She couldn't stop the shit eating smile from forming on her face. After the extremely difficult conversation they had last night she had given John his reward for keeping his hands up, alright. And the reward had been pure ecstasy for him…and her too. He might have stopped her from seeing to completion of his blowjob but the results had been nothing short of spectacular because he retaliated and she gorged herself on the exquisite pleasure of his ministrations. However, those moments were just the appetizers because the main event happened after where John let loose and showed his unbridled passion that had her growing wet just replaying in her mind. Zoe's words from the other day about how she might be the woman to unlock the passionate man locked beneath his aloof façade filled her head, because it certainly felt as though she unleashed something in him last night. John truly was a fantastic lover even before last night and knowing no other woman ever experienced that kind of passion with John made her glow with happiness.

And then there was her sweet baby; Taylor just adored John and the feeling was mutual. She nearly felt her heart burst with love when she saw John making Taylor smile and giggle as he changed him this morning, her baby only smiled at her and his nana, and now John too. A monster…pfft! John might have a dark streak, one that was built for the job he did but he turned into a gooey marshmallow around her and her son. No doubt that the dark streak in him was still there from throwing Paul out a two-story window to trying to blackmail Root off the case but both those times were to protect her. She hoped he never met Justin who lived a few houses down and had a penchant of stealing her newspaper. Although it would be hilarious to see Justin wet himself as John stalked around him like a vulture eyeing his scrawny prey.

She slid into the booth seat of the casual pub they regularly came to. Shaw was already waiting with a drink, or rather bottle, in hand and stared at her. "You got laid!" Shaw announced bluntly as she raked her accessing gaze over her as Joss wore a white tank-top and bright red running shorts to combat the blazing summer heat.

Joss pushed her sunglasses up into her hair and made a face as she sat down across from her. "How the hell did you know that?!" she asked incredulously.

"You have your super-powers, I've got mine," Shaw answered vaguely before a wolfish smile appeared as she leaned forward. "Is your frog prince good in the sack or is he more prince than animal?"

Joss arched a brow. "I came here to ask you questions about the case not get peppered about my sex life. Go get your own one, Shaw."

Shaw didn't back off though. "Come on Carter, don't be a tease."

Joss laughed in spite of herself. "He was ridiculously good in bed," she answered, knowing they'd never talk about why they were meeting up until she actually answered Shaw and she knew what was said would stay between them. "I even wiggled out an 'I love you' from him."

"You must have an amazing pussy to get his dick to speak," Shaw commented dryly, choosing to take Carter's comment differently on purpose. Emotions and feelings made her twitchy.

Joss rolled her eyes. "Anyway, what did she find out about Snow?" she asked, deciding to not tell Shaw about John's original determination to remove Root from the case or the fact that he tasked Harold into finding out more about the mysterious woman. She didn't know how Shaw would react so it was better to remain mum for the time being.

Shaw eyed Carter speculatively before reaching down beside her and lifted a folder up to hand her. Joss greedily took it. "Root looked through his personal computer. There wasn't much in the way of saved files that were of use; nothing that alluded to illegal activity. Although Root claims he had a truly disturbing amount of cat videos," Shaw added before growing serious once more. "But once she hacked into his private email she hit the motherlode. Root copied all the emails between him and his Chinese contact. There are a lot of emails with highly sensitive government material in there and proof of money transfers. That should be enough to start the ball rolling for you to get a warrant to search his office, his work computers, and laptops."

Joss flipped through the pages and pages of emails feeling a smile grow. "This is really good, Shaw." If they could get Snow behind bars than he couldn't go after John anymore and no one would believe him that a dead man was running around alive. They'd think he was just trying to stir up trouble. "Root is good. What kind of arrangement did you make with her anyway to get her to agree to take on my case?"

Shaw sighed. "I agreed to one date for her to take the case."

"That's it?" Joss murmured in surprise.

"That's it?—that's a lot, Carter, being as I bed people, not date them!" Shaw stated tersely. "I'm giving up a lot having to actually go out with the nerd so you better make sure my steak is Kobe Prime Rib!"

Joss felt as though Shaw was protesting quite a bit. Perhaps her tiny friend was looking forward to this date. "Of course," she agreed.

"Anyways don't get too excited yet Carter because there's more," Shaw stated as she reached down beside her and slid Carter another folder.

This time when Joss opened it up they were 8x10 colored photos; photos of Snow with some bottle-blond woman. But the woman wasn't recognizable, at least, not to her. She lifted her brow up as she looked to Shaw. "Who is she?" Joss asked.

Shaw gulped some of her Grey Goose down before sitting back. "She's a very big problem for your frog prince."

"How? Why?" asked Joss, with a heavy crease on her forehead as she struggled to figure out what was going on. Who could be worse than Mark Snow?

Shaw sat forward, her dull brown gaze sharpening. "Carter, this is some dangerous shit. Are you sure your frog prince is worth it?"

Joss felt her shoulders stiffen. "Yes," she stated shortly. "Now tell me what the hell is going on or I'll make you live to regret not telling me!"

Shaw smiled. "I love it when you get fiery. It's so fucking hot. But for that answer we'll need to move this to a little more private of a place." Shaw murmured as she held up a recorder. "As I said Root is thorough in her investigations."

She frowned at Shaw. "Well not my place because John's there watching Taylor for me. I don't want to tell him anything until I know what the hell is going on first," Joss said, looking around suspiciously to see if anyone was watching or listening to them.

Shaw grinned. "My place it is." she murmured with a flirty wiggle of her brows. Joss sighed as she thinned her lips in response. Just great, she was about to enter Dungeon Dominatrix!

* * *

The drive to Shaw's apartment wasn't that far from the pub where they had met at. But Joss was lost in thoughts the entire time so it felt even shorter. Who was the blond woman that was bad news for John? Root got her a lot of information but also new questions; questions that needed answers.

She arrived at Shaw's surprisingly normal humble abode and sat at her small dining table; Shaw had her chair turned backwards and was resting her forearms across the back of the chair. Joss sat normal, but with her hands clasped in front of her, and nodded. "Play it," she commanded.

Shaw nodded and pressed play on her recorder and Snow's voice filtered through:

"_Hello Martine, thank you for meeting me quickly." Snow greeted._

"_You said you had cash up front so here I am," the woman named Martine said._

_A momentary silence followed before a rustling sound happened. "Yes, well, I need you to find this man and eliminate him. You get fifty thousand in cash now and once you bring me his molars as proof of death I'll give you another fifty thousand," Snow stated._

_A chuckle erupted. "Eliminate him?—I kind of want to fuck him first," the woman stated. "What's his name?"_

"_John."_

"_John. No last name?" she demanded._

"_No, not anymore, we stripped him of it," Mark stated._

_A disgusted sigh came. "He's former CIA; I take it back, I don't want to fuck him anymore," Martine said sourly. "Give me his last known name then."_

"_Sorry, Martine, I can't do that. I need him gone without the CIA or any other agency ever learning of his existence so this must be done with good ole' fashioned recon," Mark admitted._

"_Oh, there's a story there," Martine plied, sounding intrigued._

"_Not one you'll hear,"Mark responded bluntly._

"_Well, in that case my rate just went up. I want one hundred thousand up front and another one hundred thousand once I produce the molars," she stipulated. "Seeing as I have to put more hours into this hit job than others with no name to go on."_

"_You bitch…."_

"_Unless of course you want to get your hands dirty, Mark," she sneered. "Oh, that's right, you can't find him. That's why you came crawling to me to find him for you."_

_Silence ensued. "Your tracking skills even of the most elusive marks are second to none which is why I sought you out for this job," Mark complimented begrudgingly. "Fine, you'll get one hundred thousand now and then another one hundred thousand when you bring me his molars. And dispose of his body someplace where he'll never be seen again. I'm tired of John ruining my life," Mark whined._

Shaw stopped the recorder. Joss sat still. "Mark Snow just hired an assassin to kill John? He must be getting desperate and can't keep looking for him by himself, and as he said he can't have anyone finding out John is alive," Joss murmured. This was going from bad to worse.

Shaw nodded. "I listened to the rest of the conversation and your name came up but Mark doesn't think you hold any kind of significance to your frog prince. Root is already attempting to force-pair with this Martine's phone to find out who she is and what your frog prince is up against," Shaw explained.

It also explained why Shaw was the go between because Root had wanted to get her the information while seeing to the added wrinkle on her latest case. "Tell Root to back off; this is quickly turning more dangerous, Shaw."

Shaw snorted. "Root won't back off until the case is over, Carter. Martine is now a part of it and we don't have info on her yet, which means she'll do what it takes to uncover her secrets and get them to us. Biggest problem as I see it is that now that she is investigating even more I'm afraid she'll want two dates," Shaw grumbled.

Joss frowned at Shaw but knew what the brunette said was true. Root was invested in this case now and had personal reasons for seeing it through because of Shaw. Maybe Harold could find out something on Root so Joss had leverage to end it before Root got hurt more than a bruised heart from Shaw.

"Hopefully if we can make a move on Mark Snow and prove him to be the treasonous bastard we know he is than we can erase the bounty on John's head before Martine can try anything." Joss murmured, though she didn't think that would be the case. This Martine received one hundred thousand with the promise of another one hundred thousand, that was going to make her a very real threat.

"Maybe," Shaw agreed though she didn't sound any more convinced.

"All I know is that if blondie thinks of coming anywhere near me, my son, or John I'm going to beat her ass all the way to hell," she stated darkly.

Shaw grinned as she said, "Oorah!"

Joss snorted. "You meant to say: Hooah!" she teased with a wink to the former Marine earning the finger for it. Joss laughed as she rested a hand on Shaw's shoulders. "Tell Root thanks and to be careful," she admonished as she rushed towards Shaw's door.

Shaw waved her off as she left. Joss had to go home and as she climbed into her car she realized she needed to tell John about what she learned from Shaw which might just cause John to do the exact thing she didn't want him to do: leave.

* * *

AN: See that's why I plied you guys full of hot sexy times before this because the chaos is about to erupt.

Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

John rubbed a hand across Taylor's back as he cried and fussed. It was just about time for his nap and the champ was fighting it valiantly. He crooned to Taylor, something he did when he was sure he was alone, and no eavesdropping ears were listening in on him. As he sang a lullaby to Taylor he slowly rocked him back and forth, to lull him to sleep. It was working as Taylor's cries softened to tiny whimpers, and then nothing other than little baby noises.

"Tired aren't you," he whispered as he continued his gentle rocking motion. "I understand that," he spoke to the infant as if he could understand him. But he was glad Taylor couldn't. His tiredness was vastly different from Taylor's. Although since being swept into the category 5 hurricane labeled as: Joss Carter, he hadn't felt that particular tiredness in a while. "Your mother makes me tired but in a good way," he muttered. He unwillingly let his mind wander to the mind-numbing ecstasy Joss brought him last night as she went down on him. Giving up any amount of control in any aspect of his life was terribly difficult for him. He was used to calling the shots especially in the bedroom. No other woman ever dared to seek control from him as he never slept with the same woman more than once. The only woman he slept with more than once was Zoe and it was for information but also she knew the score: his way, her pleasure. Joss didn't give a damn about his way or not and he surrendered to her with very little effort from her which left him disgusted with himself.

When he stopped his gentle rocking and comforting tap on his back Taylor started fussing again in response. John resumed, pushing away such carnal thoughts, especially since he was around a baby. "Women are mystifying creatures, you know that. Your mother loves me. I don't know why," he mumbled to the boy as he pressed a kiss to Taylor's curly hair. "God knows I'm not worthy of it. Things I've done…I shouldn't even be holding you," he whispered. Taylor let out a wail of protest. John smiled at it. "Sound just like your mother now," he accused teasingly. "I want to be good for your mother, and you, but somehow I know I'll mess it up. I always do. Love and loss go hand in hand, especially when you're me," he told the baby honestly.

John quieted up as he rocked Taylor back and forth and felt the infant grow heavy in his arms. He smiled as Taylor's head rested against his shoulder, pacifier still in his mouth, but the little baby sounds he was making was quieting. Once satisfied that the little guy was out he moved him to the crib and set him down. He smiled as he looked down. "Sleep tight champ," he whispered, turning to head downstairs to resume some restless pacing that he stopped doing to feed, change, and play with Taylor. However, he stopped dead in his tracks as Joss stood against the doorframe, tears in her eyes, and arms folded across her chest.

She pushed away from the frame, not speaking a word, and flung her arms around him. He held her a little embarrassed and annoyed that she had been clearly listening in on his conversation with the infant. But then, he was in her house, talking to her son, so how angry could he really get? And his anger was more directed at himself for not being more aware of his surroundings and hearing her footsteps approaching. After several long moments in their embrace Joss pulled away, to sneak over to her son and rubbed his cheek. Once she had gotten in her fill they both escaped his nursery, she took the baby monitor walkie with her, and closed the door but left it ajar just a crack.

"I need help putting the groceries away, sort of went overboard," she admitted wryly.

He nodded grateful she hadn't said anything about what she overheard but then knowing Joss, it was sure to come at some point. John let her lead them downstairs and began helping unpack the mountain of grocery bags she had.

"Before I leave; we need to talk," he suggested.

Joss looked towards him as she put the milk away. "You're leaving?" she asked, trying to hide the hurt and disappointment in her voice.

"I've stayed longer than I should have. Mark is still out there and is very much still a threat," he said after a moment. When Joss simply stared at him with a wounded look he grew defensive. "Damn it Joss, we aren't living together," he snarled. He hadn't led her on. There was no talk about a future. Love didn't mean they would ride off into the sunset together and have a happy ending. Future wasn't even in his vocabulary right now, maybe ever.

She was silent, watching him with those unnerving, but dark and beautiful, eyes that seemed to look right through him as if he was nothing but transparent glass. And he didn't like it one bit because it left him feeling exposed and susceptible. "No, we're not." she agreed, being awfully agreeable. She looked away and proceeded to finish putting her things away bending and making him lust after her sexy ass. She wore those tiny red shorts just to make him crazy. "I understand. But you're right; we need to talk."

John eyed her suspiciously as he pushed his lust aside. That was way too easy; definitely not the Joss Carter way. "Are you sure you understand?" he asked hesitantly.

"Mmmhmm," she sounded.

He frowned. Women were riddles. Sometimes they spoke in code like when they said 'fine' it was most definitely not fine. Or if she asked if another woman was prettier than her…that was just a trick question. You couldn't say no because then she got mad that you looked in the first place. And saying yes another woman was prettier than her would surely have your balls rearranged. Any guy that did that was an ass and didn't deserve the woman anyways. But he hadn't figured out what 'mmmhmm' actually meant which left him feeling flustered.

Joss knew she was throwing John a curveball with her gentle understanding of his desire to leave. But maybe a little space was necessary for them both. John clearly was getting that claustrophobic feeling and she didn't want him to feel forced to stay with her. She wanted him to want to stay with her. And surely when she told John about the added wrinkle of the hired hit woman after him he'd want to leave for sure.

"So, uh, what did you want to talk about?" she asked, switching topics on him.

John eyed her warily. What indeed? He didn't quite remember now. He didn't like feeling unbalanced and not in control. "About what you listened in on…" he began.

She rolled her eyes as she threw him a look as she closed the refrigerator. "I called your name. I even knocked on my son's door to alert you to the fact that I was home. It's not my fault you were enjoying being a father to my son too much to hear me," she stated, setting her fists on her hips, and lifted her chin defiantly.

Was that what he was doing?—fathering her son without realizing it? "He's not my son," he rasped gravelly.

She made a face. "So you don't believe in people being able to love children even if they aren't their blood?" she asked.

"Of course not; I just meant that's not what I was doing."

"You said 'he's not my son' and that makes it sound like you can't father my son because he's not yours biologically," she growled softly yet angrily, pushing the conversation to exactly where she wanted it to be: personal. She wanted him to tell her something about his personal beliefs and with John's limited social skills preferring the 'speaking when spoken too' method she could use it to her advantage by twisting his words in her favor. Joss hadn't been a top interrogator by accident; she had honed her skill and wasn't above using her expertise at getting John to open up to her even a little bit.

He frowned. "It's not what I meant. Kids are adopted all the time; I was adopted," he admitted, trying to untangle the mess he made of his words and then realized he gone too personal and wished he hadn't.

"You are?" she asked, surprised he was adopted but also smiling with success. "Did you ever look for your biological family?"

He swallowed hard as she swiftly changed the subject to one he didn't want to talk about…himself. "No," he answered shortly.

"Why?" she asked as she sidled up to him.

John frowned. "Joss, we were talking about something completely different," he grumbled. Then a tiny smile flickered on his lips as he realized she had forced the conversation to go this direction. "Still practicing your interrogation skills?"

Joss tried to appear innocent but failed and then shrugged. "I've got to utilize everything in my arsenal to get you to open up. I told you I want in John, I didn't lie to you. Now tell me why you never looked for your biological family." she questioned hating having an unanswered question.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked instead.

"I love you John and call me crazy but I'd like to get to know you better," she murmured softly, though confidently.

His heart skipped a beat again as she said that she loved him. It did that any time she looked at him, smiled his way, or when he thought about her. Even when he was with Jessica he was never afflicted with such a feeling. "I never looked for them because my adoptive parents were my real parents. They were the ones that kissed me goodnight, put clothes on my back, food on my table, and loved me as their son. I never went without."

"What were they like?" she asked as she rested her hands on his hips not shy about wanting info on him.

John smiled as he thought of Margaret and Connor Davis. "Smart and loving, they were the best kind of parents you could ever want. They'd pick you up when you fell down but encourage you to try again so you could get it right the next time."

"They sound wonderful," she murmured softly, not wanting to stop him from speaking.

"They were." he agreed before he cleared his throat. But the trip down memory lane ended abruptly. "Joss, about what you heard me tell Taylor about wanting to be good enough for him and you…."

"You are," she interrupted.

"I'm not," he muttered. She thinned her lips but before she opened her mouth to argue further he raised a hand to stop her. "But I'm trying to be. Change is difficult, Joss, I'm not sure I can even do it."

"Can I have my say now?" she demanded. When he nodded she poked him in the belly. "Let's be clear here; I didn't ask you to change. You're the one that doesn't like who you see in the mirror. And I don't know why because I love the man who is looking back at me."

"My past…" he began.

"...is your past," she finished. "I'm not asking you to look into some crystal ball and tell me our future. Can't you just live right now, in the present, and take it one step at a time?"

He was quiet. He wanted to. "Alright," he agreed. "We can live in the present."

"Yea?" she questioned, with a small smile filling her face, making her dark eyes twinkle. John liked that he made them dance so.

"Yea, just…go slow."

Joss felt her heart melt at the aching vulnerability he just showed at his gentle request. She didn't need a crystal ball to know her future; she saw it when John was holding Taylor trying to help him fall asleep. John was her future; married to her, making love to her, and holding her on a nightly basis. They would watch Taylor grow up and perhaps give him a little brother or sister to play with. But she couldn't tell him that. Not yet, anyways. He didn't even think they had a future and needed one tiny step at a time.

"I can handle that," she said though she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't lying to him.

Now that they had the uncomfortable conversation he really did need to leave. He needed a little alone time to think which he couldn't do when she was around. "I should go," he murmured and started for her door.

"Wait! I have something to tell you." she muttered. He turned to look at her expectantly. "I met with Shaw who had some news from her friend about Snow."

John eyed her warily. "And what did she learn?"

"She got me information that could help put Snow away for a very long time. It should be enough to get a search warrant of his work computers and office," Joss said, starting with the easy stuff. "I'm going to call Fusco and arrange it so he can meet with Donnelly about it. I don't want my name attached to the case."

"I see," he murmured. It was too easy. Nothing ever was and he didn't believe that Joss could just easily arrest Snow. Snow would gladly take Joss down with him.

"But there's more," Joss admitted and he looked up and was glad his instincts were correct. "Root followed him to a meeting with a woman named Martine."

He searched his memory bank but couldn't ever recall meeting a woman with that name. "Never heard of her."

"That's because she's an assassin with a heavy disdain of the CIA." Joss explained and John's warm expression iced over. "She's being paid one hundred thousand dollars up front to kill you and once she brings your molars to him as proof they'll be another one hundred thousand dollars."

"I need to leave now."

Joss watched sadly as John turned and stormed for the door leaving her to rush after him. "John…"

"Snow had to have told her about you. It's a starting point for her search." he snapped as he whirled on her after stuffing his large feet into his male flip-flops. "You should have come home directly after to tell me this so I could get out of here quicker. I won't put your life and the life of Taylor in harm's way."

"If she knew you were here than wouldn't Martine have already come in guns ablazing?" Joss demanded angrily. "There is two hundred thousand dollars at stake!—John, I know you're leaving and I won't even ask you to stay because I know better. You will always put me and Taylor ahead of yourself. But all I'm asking is that you remember your promise to me that you won't leave now that I know where you live. You gave me your word, and no one will ever know that place is connected to you it's under an assumed name that Finch created."

"I won't leave but you need to stay away, Joss." he stated harshly.

"I'm not promising that, John. If I want to see you then I'm coming to see you but I won't do anything risky." she guaranteed.

He frowned and looked as though he wanted to argue before deciding not to because, at least, she understood about him leaving and simply nodded. When John went to turn to the door that's when Joss reached out grabbing his shirt and tugged him to her, kissing him lovingly, passionately, hungrily. She stroked his tongue with hers. John sighed in response enjoying himself because Joss was a good kisser and knowing they needed to part ways for the time being. He was going to miss her even more this time than last. And he was going to miss Taylor. She released his lips to press a warm kiss to his chin, then down his neck, but instead of making her way back up she dipped her head down and pressed a kiss to his chest where his heart was thundering. John stumbled back away from her as he felt the kiss through his shirt, cutting to the quick.

"Be safe John. I love you and want to see where this goes." said Joss, voice breathless from the power of that kiss.

John stared as he nearly took a step toward her but stopped, turned, and left without responding because if he didn't he wouldn't ever leave her.


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: This isn't the halfway point yet but I wanted to thank everyone who has left reviews or talked with me about the story. I appreciate your words and your patience. **_

_**And to all the guest reviews you guys get a special shoutout of thanks since I can't respond to you in any fashion. So, thank you and XOXOX for reading this sequel.**_

* * *

"Detective Fusco…."

Lionel lifted his head at the summons and saw Agent Donnelly striding into the precinct much like he owned the place. Agent Donnelly was a good guy but was more of a stickler for the rules than Carter was which was saying something.

He arrived early because Agent Donnelly had agreed to meet him at the 8th precinct by 8AM. Lionel eyed his computer's clock seeing it was 7:59. The man was punctual.

"Thanks for agreeing to come by, Donnelly," Lionel said as he stood, picking up the manila folder. "You're going to want to see this."

Donnelly didn't respond verbally but nodded to one of the interrogation rooms they utilized in their investigation into Elias, Paul, and Marconi's deaths. After Donnelly pulled the plug Lionel hadn't heard squat about it since. Once they were enclosed together, Donnelly sighed. "I know you put feelers out with contacts in the agency to find out what is going on with the Elias investigation. I came to meet with you to hear what you wish to discuss but also to ask you respectfully to cease in your inquiry."

Fusco shrugged. "I'm sorry, Donnelly; I spent months working on that investigation only to have it pulled out from under me when you and the fellow FBI boys pulled rank," he grumbled in his defense. Besides, Carter was a friend and while she would never admit to it she was upset that she wouldn't be able to get justice for Paul. He might have been a human piece of garbage but Joss set that aside as always, and wanted justice. Lionel refocused on the man in front of him and then held out the manila folder he carried. "I think you need to take a look at this," he offered.

Donnelly took the folder and thumbed it open. His dark eyes narrowed as his brows pinched into a tight V in consternation as he stared at the copied emails. Donnelly flipped through the pages and pages, faster and faster, and then looked up. "How the hell did you get this?" he demanded.

Fusco kept his face neutral. "I can't oust my C.I., if I do then they won't ever trust me in the future and I think you'd want to know if they ever can get their meaty claws on such sensitive information again. All you need to know is that my C.I. is blowing the whistle on Mark Snow because of what he's doing."

Donnelly flipped through the pages of emails with damning information on Mark Snow. "You know I've met Agent Mark Snow of the CIA a handful of times, Fusco, and he always rubbed me the wrong way. Now I know why; he's selling secrets to the Chinese for a hefty price tag," Donnelly said and then looked up as he flipped the folder closed. "The FBI and CIA stopped fraternizing when the CIA began using underhanded methods that weren't legal or ethical. I always had my doubts on the legitimacy of the CIA in the recent years and with this I'll make an example of Mark Snow, and then we can launch an investigation into the CIA and perhaps we'll be able to clean up that agency."

Fusco shrugged. "I'm just reporting back what my C.I. got me. I knew you'd do the right thing,"

Donnelly smiled a little. "I appreciate the trust, Lionel. And I believe that you always do the right thing yourself. Please, if you gain any more information from your informant that could help me I'd like to have it as soon as possible."

"That's fine. But if I'm doing you a favor I'd like one in return," Fusco admitted. Donnelly's eyes narrowed. "If you get a search warrant on Snow or an arrest warrant can you just give me a heads up. I'd like to know that I helped bring down someone that is a traitor to the United States."

"Sure," Donnelly agreed. With that Donnelly left and Fusco felt good that he had just helped Carter out with her little rat problem. Soon enough Mark Snow wasn't going to be a problem anymore and while he wouldn't be in prison for the murders of Elias, Marconi, and Paul; he'd have to pay the piper for being a treasonous bastard.

"Carter owes me a falafel!" he muttered to no one but himself as he exited the interrogation room and headed straight for his desk with a smirk.

* * *

Joss sat on the couch, alone and miserable. John left just a little under a week ago and she missed him. She wanted to call him but refused herself because she didn't want John to break his word and leave because he didn't trust her to be careful. She needed to be choosy when she called him or showed up at his place. Root hadn't said a peep about what was going on with Martine which meant she didn't know anything or couldn't find her.

It was only a day after John left her place after finding out about Snow hiring Martine that Joss noticed her home had been disturbed. She had purposely straightened up to know if anything was changed. So when she had gotten home from work and picking up her son from his grandma's she noticed the subtle changes. Martine probably tried to put everything back the way she found it. But she wasn't about to tell a soul for fear John would learn about it and push her further away. Martine wouldn't be back and even if she did dare to break in when she was home than she'd shoot her ass! No one threatened her or her family.

Fusco had given Donnelly the information she got from Root on Snow though Fusco hadn't heard a word about a warrant for his work computers. No doubt, Donnelly was looking over the information he was given with a fine tooth comb and putting men out in the field to gather more intel on Snow before making their move. It wouldn't surprise her if they didn't make their move in months to come. Donnelly was, if nothing else, methodical and wanted everything by the book. Joss understood since she wanted Snow to pay for his crimes and not get out of things on some technicality.

But her more pressing issue was how the hell was she going to sleep at night? The days she filled them spending time with her little man who she loved and adored. But it had been awful these last several nights without John's strong arms to hold her; in the short time they spent sleeping together she already gotten used to them around her, and feeling his hard male body pressed up against her much softer one. Gotten used to the way his breath fanned over her ear and hair. The way his arm felt under her breasts holding her tightly. She pouted as she got up. Just thinking about how lonely and cold her bed was going to be again tonight without him in it made her want to go crawl off into her kitchen and eat herself out of ice cream. Especially since she had gone to her gynecologist, putting herself back on birth control pills so they wouldn't have to use condoms when he got back.

Turning to head for her phone, she decided to be productive instead of moping, and searched for Harold's number. Harold was John's longest friend that she knew of and deserved to be kept in the loop. He only knew of Root searching into Mark Snow and knowing John he didn't fill him in with this newest hiccup. Flopping onto her couch with the phone pressed to her ear she laid there waiting for the phone to be answered.

A hesitant 'hello' was all she was given.

"Hi Harold, its Joss," she greeted in return.

"Hello Joss, are you having a wonderful evening?" Harold asked sounding relaxed now.

"I've had better," she admitted as she leaned her head against the couch cushion. "John left."

"Give him time, Joss. Pushing people away is all that John knows. I knew the moment I met you when he brought you to us to help when you were very pregnant that you were something special."

Joss smiled. "That's not it. John agreed to live in the moment with me as we take small steps in our relationship together." she assured.

"Oh. What happened then?" Harold asked, though pleased that John was open to having a real relationship. It would be the first one in years.

She sighed, there was no easy way to put this. "Mark Snow happened. As you know I hired a P.I. to find a way to dig up dirt on Mark Snow."

"Yes, John asked me to look into her."

Joss frowned at his vague response but it didn't really matter at the moment. "Yea well Root followed him to a meeting where he hired an assassin to kill John."

"Oh dear god, do you have a name?" Harold asked panicked.

"Other than Martine, no, it's all Snow called her by. But I told John about the information I found out and he left."

Harold was quiet for several moments. "I'll try to find out more on my end about this mysterious Martine."

"Thanks," she said sincerely. "But just don't do anything that draws attention to you because we don't want people knowing that you aren't dead as you were thought to be." Harold silence was deafening. She smiled a little. "That's why you didn't hack into Snow's work computers after John bailed on me when Taylor was born, right?"

"I can go to Times Square or any number of popular New York sites that could offer me some cyber anonymity but, yes, I was hesitant to interfere because I know the lengths John had gone to protect me. And I don't want to risk Grace," he answered though there was a hint of guilt in his friendly voice.

"And that's why I turned to Root to help me. I won't place you or Grace at risk any more than John is willing too. So be careful, I'll text you a photo of Martine but other than that I have nothing else to help you." Joss murmured.

"It's not a lot but it's what we have to work with and I'm sure it will be enough," Harold tried to put a positive spin but she knew he was worried about the lack of information they had on Martine. So was she.

After a couple more minutes she hung up with Harold and then texted him the photo of Martine that she had from Root. Hopefully someone would have something soon because she missed John more than she was willing to admit. Joss climbed to her feet and went upstairs and took a detour into her son's room to fuss over him before heading for her room for another lonely cold night alone.

* * *

Zoe exited the apartment building as the doorman held the door for her. She smiled at him appreciatively and sauntered over to her waiting car. Zoe was instantly on alert as she frowned as she approached her car when Bill didn't immediately climb out and open the door for her. It was old fashioned but she liked the curtesy and he always did it. Change made her suspicious.

The back door opened and Zoe froze as she was held at gunpoint. The blond stuck her head out and smiled invitingly. "Come on in Miss Morgan, it's cooler in here," she offered with a pleasantness that didn't reach her eyes.

Zoe felt the stirring of panic but kept it firmly from reaching her face. She approached the car as though nothing was out of the ordinary knowing she'd be killed if she called for help. Zoe climbed into her car and closed the door. She didn't see her driver. "Where's Bill?" Zoe asked.

"He's in the trunk."

"Unharmed?"

The blond smiled and nodded. "Yes. He's not who I'm after. I don't go around killing people for fun, Miss Morgan," the woman assured, though Zoe wasn't sure to believe her or not.

"Just me, I hold a lot of secrets." Zoe commented trying to think of anyone who might try to kill her to cover up their tracks. Most of her clients knew she'd keep quiet and wouldn't reveal anything.

"No, I'm not after you. You're more a means to an end but move out of this car or attempt to call for help in any way and I will put a bullet between your eyes. So sit tight and let me drive us someplace that's a little quieter so we can talk." the blond spoke coldly. Zoe did as she was told as the woman climbed out of the car with the gun unseen by any passersby and climbed into the driver's seat. They pulled away from the curb and Zoe wisely remained silent as her captor drove them to god knows where. The blond stopped them in an alleyway, cutting the engine, and turned around to point the gun at her once more. "I'm looking for this man." the blond spoke again as she held out a photograph with her free hand. Zoe camouflaged her reaction when she saw John.

"And why do you believe I would know him?" she questioned.

The blond smiled. "It took some deduction. I've been watching the detective that Mark turned me onto as his only lead into John's whereabouts but it's clear that she holds no interest to this man other than she was just someone he helped. Mark did say that John was quick to get in and get out, and not make many attachments. But that got me to thinking, Miss Morgan, how did a man who has a death certificate learn about Carl Elias to help that detective in the first place? And who has their finger on the pulse of New York?—you do. Everyone that is someone knows that, myself included," she reasoned, almost smugly.

Zoe forced a sultry smile. "I'm glad my reputation precedes me," she purred, hoping she sounded confident.

"Yes, so that makes you very important to me. John needs to die for me to collect my payday but to do that I have to find him first, which brings me here. John is a former CIA agent and we both know they're all about collecting informants that can bring them information. And as we already ascertained that you have information on all the important players in New York, so it stands to reason that John knows you too." the woman stated. Zoe gave a curt nod not seeing any other option at the moment that didn't end with her dead. "I knew it. No one can stay hidden from me forever not even pathetic former CIA agents. I assume you have a way to contact him?"

"I do," Zoe answered, feeling guilty.

The blond grinned though it made Zoe shiver even with the car slowly warming up since she turned off the car so the A/C wasn't going still. Tonight was muggy and still warm outside. "Good, call him and have him meet us at 155th West Street between Fredrick Douglas and Harlem River at the underpass. Lie to him, figure out a way for him to come meet you there because your very life depends on it, Miss Morgan," she said as she pulled back the hammer of the gun.

Zoe swallowed hard as she pulled out her cell phone and quietly looked for John's number in her list of contacts. She never programed his name into her phone because she knew he wanted anonymity. Once she found his number without hesitation she clicked it, put her phone to her ear, and waited as it rang.

* * *

"So who is looking after you these days?" Joan asked as they stood in the encampment where John used to stay, and her cart full of bags not far from her.

John had decided to go speak with the woman that meant so much to him and had taken her under his wing when he needed it most. He brought her a vanilla ice cream cone while he ate a chocolate one. One day while she had tried to get him to talk to her she had admitted to loving vanilla ice cream cones.

"Someone new," he answered vaguely.

"Who is she?"

John looked at her startled. Then a little smile flickered on his lips. "Her name is Joss," he answered truthfully. "Impressive lady, honest to a fault, and I'm not entirely sure what she sees in me."

Joan chuckled. "An impressive man, loyal to a fault, and she probably doesn't know what you see in her,"she turned what he said back on him. John rolled his eyes as he bit into the cone as he worked his way down. "Men like you are hard to find, John."

"Women like her are even harder to find."

Joan sighed exaggeratedly. "You, my boy, are exasperating, so we'll agree to disagree," she murmured which he smiled at. They talked amicably about people he knew that were still in the encampment with her. When he tried to give her some money to get a hotel to sleep in a nice bed, with air conditioning, and a hot shower she declined. Harold every month put a ton of money in an account under his assumed name even though he asked the man to stop. At least now he had someone he could help with it.

"Please, you took care of me when I needed it. Let me pay you back," John whispered as he turned to push the money into her hands and she shook her head.

"I didn't help you back then to be repaid, John. I helped you because you needed it," Joan countered. "Now put that money away...it's insulting." John put the money back in his pocket. He'd find some other way to repay her if she didn't want to accept money. Just what? His burner phone began ringing. Joan grinned as he pulled it out. "Is it the misses?" she teased.

"No, it's a…friend." he said distractedly when he saw Zoe's number. He looked at Joan. "I'll be seeing you. I need to take this."

"Head home safe. And tell your lady love she's a real lucky one," Joan called out.

John wasn't going to do any such thing. But he smiled and waved a little at her and walked away as he answered it. "Zoe, what's up?" he asked. He hadn't talked to her since he called her wanting her to dig up dirt on Root. He wanted to oust the fact that Joss told him the truth but he wanted to see what Zoe was up to first.

"I have information on Root that you wanted." Zoe said. John smirked; cared about him, his ass. He was right and Zoe had only met with Joss for her own gain. Zoe was playing them both. But it was fine since he wanted to see what kind of information Zoe had on Root. Harold had found out a lot though he hadn't filled Joss in on any of it yet. He hadn't had the chance to. "I'll text you the address. I'm near a client's place, and I would meet you back at my place but I have another client I need to see afterwards. You know how everyone is, John, everyone has a crisis they need to avert."

To Zoe the night was always young. "Alright, text me where you want to meet and I'll be there," he agreed, not having anything better to do other than think about Joss and Taylor.

"See you soon…."

John hung up the phone and headed out of the encampment as the text came in. He read it and was relieved it wasn't too far away. John scanned his surroundings and didn't see anyone, before he joined the mix of men and women as they walked and headed to the address in the text.

* * *

AN: Zoe was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:**_** I wanted to get a chapter up before tomorrow because I have a wedding to go to, one I'm dreading because of family drama rather than because I don't love the groom and bride. *sigh***_

* * *

Joss exited the precinct with stiff shoulders after a long day at work. She and Fusco had worked a double homicide case all morning, afternoon, and evening but they actually narrowed down the suspect list. Hopefully, they would be able to narrow it further after they spoke to some key witnesses. She was glad that Taylor was being watched by her neighbor and not by her mama. It would be a ten minute drive with traffic rather than a half hour ride to and then another half hour ride back home. Sleep was a rare commodity these days. Since she last seen him she had broke down and called him once and even texted him a photo of Martine so he could be on the lookout himself. Joss blitzed John with a rapid fire trivia quiz just to settle the ache in her heart. But even with that it felt as though John retreated from her which was frustrating. They loved each other but his past wedged itself firmly between them, pushing him further from her. She just wished Donnelly would move faster on the information they got him.

She climbed into her car dejectedly and turned it on so she could turn up the A/C. It was another steamy summer night and even with it being nightfall it was still hot in her car. Her phone rang. She quickly grabbed it hoping it was John which was instantly dashed, it was Root.

Joss picked up after the second ring. "Hey, what's up?" Joss answered. Root didn't call so it had to be important.

"Detective, we have a problem," Root answered cutting directly to the chase.

Dread filled her. "What kind of problem?"

"A very bad one," she admitted. "Martine gave me the slip after the meeting with Mark Snow. I'm not sure if she knew she was being followed or she's that paranoid but I finally found her again only she was taking Zoe Morgan, fixer extraordinaire, hostage by gunpoint. I force-paired with Miss Morgan's phone and she just called your John under false pretenses to lure him into a trap. They're almost there right now; I'll try to keep up. I'll text you the address that Zoe gave him."

A host of emotions all warred for dominance but she focused solely on her innate calm in intense situations. "Give me the address now!" Joss stated brusquely.

"Will do," Root agreed and hung up; Joss's phone buzzed with a text. She immediately read it and quickly put her car in drive and sped away out of the precinct's parking lot.

"Hold on John, I'm coming."

* * *

John parked curbside and climbed out to head down to the underpass where Zoe wanted to meet. He didn't see her but that didn't mean she wasn't around. John's phone vibrated but he ignored it as he heard a sound to his left and he turned, and instantly froze. Zoe was there alright but there was an arm wrapped around her neck and a gun placed against her temple. The blond standing behind her was taller and smiled at him. No doubt this was Martine who was hired by Mark to find and eliminate him.

"I must say you're a tough man to find," Martine spoke. John shrugged in answer as his phone stopped vibrating with a call to simply restart all over again. John could get Zoe out of here unscathed but he needed the right moment. "But I finally found a thread that led me to you."

"I'm sorry, John; but she said if I gave her you then I'd live," Zoe apologized.

"It's okay Zoe," he reassured. He was just glad that Joss hadn't been that thread. He didn't know what he would have done if Joss was the one being currently held at gunpoint.

"Touching, but it's time to collect my money," Martine stated gleefully as she focused her gun on him and pulled the trigger.

John hissed in pain as the bullet ripped through his abdomen. And she shot him again in the shoulder as he was going down. Pain reverberated everywhere but he pushed it into the background of his mind and tried to focus on what was happening around him. He stayed on the ground keeping his eyes open to watch what Martine did with Zoe so he could save her.

Martine shoved Zoe to the ground. John tensed as he slowly moved his arm behind his back. "Sorry Miss Morgan but I lied; I can't let you go," Martine murmured, focusing her gaze, and gun, on Zoe and John made his move. He pulled his gun out from the back of his pants and fired at Martine and caught her in the shoulder not once but twice. She shouted in pain before taking cover behind the car.

"Run, Zoe!" he ordered trying to sound commanding.

Zoe didn't think twice as she kicked her heels off and tore off running in the opposite direction and didn't look back. Good. John dragged himself up and fired rapid rounds to keep Martine behind the car for cover so he could find some himself.

"You'll pay for that! I was just going to make your death quick and rip out your molars for the money but now…now I'm going to have fun with you, pretty boy," Martine called out, which was slightly drowned out by the bullets slicing through metal. John continuously fired again and again at the car she hid behind until he heard clicks meaning he was out of ammo and out of time. He had no cover, not really. Running wasn't much of an option as she would easily catch up. "Time's up!" Martine snarled as she appeared gun trained on him.

John tried to fire again. Martine arched a brow. "Just making sure it didn't jam," he muttered as his breaths were coming out in pants as he felt his shirt sticking to his chest and not from the humidity. His legs were feeling heavy and keeping upright was becoming a tad difficult.

Simultaneous sets of squealing tires earned Martine's and his gazes and he saw a tall brunette exit the car firing at Martine. Great, it seemed Snow hired another assassin to take him out and she didn't want to share the payout. John turned to face the other car that arrived and watched as Joss hung out the rolled down window and was firing at Martine. She was stunning in full blown badass mode.

"Hurry, get in!" she shouted as she fired rapidly at Martine to give him cover, who had to take cover from two sets of people firing on her. John didn't even bother to look back at the brunette as he staggered-ran for Joss's car and climbed into the backseat and she hurriedly sped off. "Are you okay?" she asked as she sped them away from the underpass.

"Been better," he admitted wryly. He watched as she looked in her rearview mirror and her eyes widened in horror.

"That bitch shot you!" Joss cried, not having realized that. She had been so focused on Martine that she barely spared John a passing glance. She knew he'd listen to her.

John grabbed at his abdomen knowing it went straight through and he was already feeling the effects. But the other, in his shoulder, hadn't. "That was what she was paid to do," he pointed out.

Joss wasn't in the mood for his realism. "Zoe sold you out by luring you there." she said, hating the quiver in her voice. But she much preferred to be angry than scared out of her mind.

"She had no choice, Joss; Martine would have killed her on the spot."

Joss knew that but it didn't help any right now. Not with John bleeding in her backseat. "Where is Zoe?" she asked.

"I told her to run off. After you drop me off you'll need to go back to that car. If it was Zoe's that means it's her driver's car. He's probably in the…"

"We'll make sure." she reassured quickly. She had no inclination of just dropping him off anywhere. She'd send Fusco on it after she checked on Root. But her first priority was John or he was going to die. "How bad is it?" she asked shortly, trying to get him to focus on himself for damned once.

"Would you like me to lie?" he asked.

"I'll take you to the nearest hospital," Joss said as panic rose at the answer. If he wanted to lie that meant it worse than he wanted to admit and she gripped the steering wheel tightly. Now she knew how John felt when he was driving while she was in labor because the urge to speed dangerously was overwhelming.

"No," he responded roughly. "That's the first place they'll look for me; no hospitals," he whispered.

Joss cursed herself. Of course, hospitals would be the first place they'd look for him. What was she thinking?—she wasn't—because John was bleeding out in her backseat. Where could she take him that he'd be safe but could get looked at?

"Take the next left," he said quietly. "We don't know who could be tailing you."

"John I need to get you someplace to receive medical attention." Joss argued.

"Take the next left or I jump out of your car moving or not," he repeated.

She ground her teeth together so hard that she heard them make a crunching noise; she didn't think they were being followed and they were wasting time that he didn't have but did as he asked just to make him happy so they could focus on saving him. She couldn't risk John growing agitated and hop out of the car, not that she couldn't catch up but that would surely make people notice. Joss pulled to a stop in a barren alleyway, parking and turned off the headlights. She immediately reached into her glove compartment, needing something to apply pressure to his wounds with.

She grabbed the clean rags out. "Here, this should help a little," she said calmly as she threw him one before climbing into the back to sit beside him and she felt him tense up. Joss ignored his response and pulled his shirt up and felt concern grow in her. He was shot more than once. "You look like Swiss Cheese," she whispered, feeling tears gather in her eyes. There were at least two shots but who knew if there was another few she couldn't see in the dark.

He laughed gently but she hadn't said it to be funny. John gasped as they pressed the rags hard to his abdomen making white hot agony flare through him. He panted a bit and he wished to reassure her but couldn't.

Joss thought frantically of where to take him because if she didn't figure it out then he was going bleed out and then an idea struck. She looked at him and his pain filled eyes met hers. "Shaw! I can take you to her because she's a pathologist," she exclaimed with hope.

John eyed her. "Are you trying to save me or cut me up to have me autopsied and looked at under a microscope, Joss?" he tried to tease to relieve the panic he saw bubbling up.

Joss couldn't believe that a smile was twitching her lips up. John was the only one who could joke while bleeding to death in the backseat of her car. She appreciated the attempt. "We'll find out when I take you to my friend's place," she teased back because it calmed her nerves.

He shook his head. "I don't think it's a good idea, Joss. I don't want to get you or her involved any more than you are," he whispered. She pressed the rag hard into his side and he hissed out a breath. "Guess that wasn't what you wanted to hear."

"Guessed right," she snapped. "Well I'm involved and Shaw can help. She studied to be a doctor before she realized she preferred working with stiffs than living people."

He didn't respond for a moment but the grimace on his face was story enough. He was in intense physical pain and if the paleness to his skin was anything to go by; he was losing way too much blood. "Look, we can sit here and talk until you pass out and I take you to my friend with the risk of you dying or we go now," she ground out, trying to hide her urgency. He wasn't looking so good. She had a feeling he was using conversation as a way to not lose consciousness. "And let's be clear: I'm not losing you."

"Fine," he agreed a little breathlessly.

Joss pressed the rag tighter into his wound eliciting another groan. "Sorry, but Shaw doesn't live far," she promised before she climbed back over into the driver's seat and slid the car into drive. Joss didn't realize how much blood was on her hand until she looked down and a distressed whimper escaped her.

"I'll be fine," he whispered and Joss didn't feel relieved by his words because his voice sounded weaker.

Joss needed to keep him talking so she demanded him to tell her about his evening. She risked a look back at him and his eyes were closed and sunken into his skull.

Joss focused on driving and sped up further. She pulled to a stop in front of Shaw's apartment complex and felt a tad shaky but drew her inner poise and calm. John needed her and she was going to save him no matter what. "Shaw's thankfully on the bottom floor," she murmured more to herself. Joss watched in dismay as John climbed out of the car without waiting for her. "HEY!" she cried as she cut the engine and climbed out to rush to his side. He stumbled as he grew weaker and weaker. "John, you need my help."

John gritted his teeth as he leaned against Joss as she stepped beside him. He tried to ignore the way his muscles didn't want to move and the fact that his vision had tunneled. "Did you know porcupines can float on water?" he slurred softly.

"I think you lost too much blood to think I would play our trivia quiz right now."

He chuckled weakly. "Humor me," he whispered and then stumbled into her and then sucked in a breath as her hand brushed against the wound he had near his gut, to steady him. Joss struggled under his weight as he was leaning more and more on her, and realized he wanted to use conversation to keep conscious.

"A dime has 118 ridges on the edge," she offered her own as she focused on getting one foot in front of the other as she sagged under his weight even as he whispered an apology. "It's okay, I got you," she assured him.

"Did you know that there is a New Zealand hill called: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiakitnatahu?" John asked.

They reached Shaw's door. "No, but I'd love to hear you try to spell it?" she said, out of breath. He chuckled sickly and gripped her tightly as he swayed. "Please Shaw, be home." she pleaded more to herself as she reached out to pound on Shaw's door hard.

The door opened and Shaw stood in front of her, with a towel wrapped in a turban-style on her head, and Joss would have laughed at Shaw's mouth dropping open had it not been so dire, "We need your help…"

* * *

AN: I blended in bits of what happened at the end of 3x9 into this since I didn't make HR into anything in this story. And by the way that Hill really does exist. I copied the spelling because, yea that wasn't happening. So if wikipedia has the spelling wrong than it's their fault :D

Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

_**AN: Special shoutout to Elaine who helped me tremendously with writing the medical stuff. I am so appreciative that you took the time to let me pick your brain and help me write this so it's believable because that's what I wanted in this rather than just a gloss over of his injuries. XOXOX**_

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Shaw hurried back into her living room, still barefoot, hair wet and hanging, and in only a thin black tank and black cotton briefs. Her unconscious patient was currently sprawled out on the floor waiting for her with Carter by his side. His knees buckled the moment they got him inside, as if he had been waiting for the right moment before passing out. Carter tried but he was too big for them to break his fall to the floor so he'd landed with a sickening thud which made Carter even more upset than she was prior.

"You bring me the nicest things; a hot guy who is bleeding all over my floor. Guess I better kiss that security deposit goodbye, landlords don't care for blood stains," Shaw commented dryly. Blood was oozing from several different wounds, now a small gash on his cheekbone from where he'd hit was added to the sieve. Shaw spared Carter a passing glance noting the tears in her eyes. "I take it he's your frog prince judging by the fact that you brought him to me and not a hospital."

Joss felt her control on her emotions slipping but she tightened it up once again as she nodded. "Not the way I wanted to make introductions but I need you to save him, Shaw," she whispered. While Shaw had run off to get supplies she had tried to remove his shirt. Trying to move John was like trying to move hundred and eighty pounds of semi solid Jell-O, green to be exact because of his current skin color. When she realized moving him would be next to impossible, especially since he was now totally unconscious, she changed her tactic to put pressure to the wound to his abdomen since it was the worst looking one. This time he barely responded and it frightened her to the point of her heart nearly stopping in her chest. The blood was spreading across the floor and between the joints of the floor boards, thick, dark red, sticky.

Shaw looked up quickly. "You do know that my usual _patients_ are already dead, right?"

"I know you were in med school for years and you changed to a pathologist from ER doctor because your personality disorder made getting along with your co-workers, your patients and their families difficult for you," she replied with bite to her tone. "John said no hospitals so you're the best I could come up with."

"Such the ringing endorsement," Shaw snarked back as she refocused on the prone man and proceeded to cut open his shirt from hem to the neck quickly. "But if I'm to save your frog prince I need to see what I'm dealing with and then do something to plug the holes."

Shaw parted the shirt to see what she was dealing with. There were two gunshot wounds in total; one wasn't serious but the one in his abdomen was cause for concern. John's breathing suddenly became more labored, his breaths sounded like he was drowning in his own fluids. Shaw shot a concerned glance to Carter, all business now. "Get up by his head. Pull it back…gently…to open his airway. Now!" Joss, unquestioningly obeyed her friend's firm order and his breathing improved immediately. Shaw nodded. "Better," she said, still examining her 'living' patient. She put some pressure on the dressing she'd slapped on the most serious wound.

Joss stared into John's ashen face. "Just hang in there, John," she murmured before looking at Shaw who was eyeing her, looking serious.

"Carter, I've got to get supplies and equipment if we have any chance of saving him," Shaw told her bluntly. Joss shook her head frantically; what if something happened that she wasn't equipped to deal with. Her medical expertise was limited to CPR training and knowing basic First Aid. "Listen to me! Keep his airway open and talk to him. They say that patients can hear you even when you think they can't. Doesn't make any damn sense to me, but let's not debate it now. Just do it!" Shaw answered as she was already standing up to leave.

Joss looked at her pleadingly. "Hurry!" she barked, but Shaw was already heading out the door, her wet hair and skimpy outfit forgotten.

Once Shaw was gone, Carter repositioned herself. She straddled John, so she could hold his head in a better position to help him breathe. The minutes began to drag by. He took a ragged breath. "You have to keep on breathing, John, because I'm selfish and I need you. You promised me that we would go slowly in our relationship so that means there is no giving up, you understand?" she instructed raggedly. His breathing stabilized. "And we still have our trivia quiz to end. You didn't even let me give you one back." she paused, listening to him make a gurgling noise. A gurgle was better than silence. "Let's see: a horse can look forward with one eye and back with the other." she said shakily trying to think of a good one.

He groaned and became restless. "I know it was terrible but you have to cut me some slack, John, I'm not used to digging into my useless knowledge bank while you're bleeding out," she said softly, trying to keep him still. But when it didn't work and he was still restlessly moving she ever so gently firmed her hold. "Hold still, John, please! You're too big for me to handle. Just listen to my voice and relax, I won't let anything happen to you. You didn't let anything happen to me or Taylor, so trust me," she pleaded and he quieted down. He even made a feeble attempt to look at her, but his eyes slipped shut, sinking deeper into his drawn face. She didn't know how he had the strength or awareness, but he lifted his left hand to skim hers, the one holding his neck back and his airway open. At first she thought he was trying to draw her hand away, but then she realized it was a pat, a way to acknowledge what she was doing and why. She was angry with herself that simple gesture touched her so much that a tear slipped down her cheek and landed on his face. She was supposed to be comforting him not the other way around. His hand slipped away from hers after a moment and she kept talking to him about everything and nothing. Telling him he'd be okay. Telling him how much she loved him. Told him all the new things Taylor had done since he last seen him. Tried to explain Shaw's personality, because, really, how could anyone truly explain Shaw to someone? Joss started wondering aloud about Martine and Snow, and if Root and Zoe were okay. She even admonished him that she was going to help him get through with his past for their future together, and if that scared him, tough luck.

What seemed like a lifetime later, but was actually less than an half hour, Shaw returned, loaded down with bags of supplies and equipment that Joss had no idea what it was for and she really didn't think she wanted to know. Shaw immediately knelt down by Joss. "He's still alive!—either your frog prince is a stubborn bastard or you are." Shaw said sounding surprised, which didn't bode well for Joss's peace of mind.

Joss's hand were cramping from holding John's head in a position where he could breathe better. "Yea, he seems to be breathing okay as long as I hold his head back. As soon as I start to let go, he starts choking again. He started acting like he was going to puke. I didn't want him to choke so I turned him on his side. When he stopped, I turned him back and held his head back again."

Shaw looked at the remains of John's last meal near Joss's hand that held his head. "Looks like Thai; must of got some to feel closer to you. How disgustedly romantic that is. And it's semi-digested." Shaw sneered before taking a sniff. "Appears he had some ice cream and some cheap booze too; no blood though," she concluded analytically. "That's good. And you did the right thing, otherwise he'd be fighting pneumonia along with bullet holes," she nodded as she began pulling things out of the duffle bag she'd brought in.

Shaw set up two IVs and tried to start one with a large bore needle. It looked to Joss like it was the size of a freeway tunnel. By the way John reacted to the stick of the needle it must have felt that way too. He tried pulling away. Shaw leaned over him and not to gently said, "Hey, frog prince!—hold still! It's just a little stick. We're trying to save your life." He let her take his hand and let her slide the needle in his fisted hand. "That's better. Now another one in your other arm," she said triumphantly, ready to jab him again. She knew it hurt like hell, but he hurt Carter when he upped and left her after her pooping machine was born, and Carter was her only friend so he was lucky Joss wouldn't let her jab the needles in his eyes! He weakly tried to withdraw from her grip.

"Shaw, be kinder!" Joss ordered before looking at John. "John," she said soothingly leaning near his ear. "Shaw might have the personality of a shark but she's going to help you." Joss whispered in his ear. She saw him stop fighting Shaw's grip. His eyes remained closed but she saw him flinch under Shaw's, lacking finesse, ministrations. Now she understood why Shaw had decided working with living patients wasn't her cup of tea, her bedside manner was in the dumpster, but she was her only hope at saving John and she trusted Shaw implicitly.

Shaw pulled several bags of blood out of her duffle bag. "I 'borrowed' this O negative blood from NYC Med Center, next to the morgue. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing," she mumbled to no one in particular. She retrieved a small portable heart monitor and attached him to it before hanging one bag of blood from the back of a nearby chair. "We've got to watch him close. He may have a reaction to the blood, especially if he's had a transfusion before." She got face to face with John. "Have you had a transfusion before?" she spoke to him loudly, inches away. He gave an almost imperceptive nod. Shaw leaned back. "Just our damn luck!" she griped. "Okay, let's turn him on his side. Let's see if the shots went all the way through or if we have to dig one…or more pieces of lead out of him."

With a concerted effort they turned him on his side and found one exit wound seeping blood after pulling his khaki shorts down off his hips. The exit wound was on his left hip. He made a harsh anguished sound when Shaw put pressure on the wound. "The bullet probably bounced off his hip bone and it hurts like hell and will for quite a while," she explained to Carter, hoping John was hearing and maybe understanding her. He started panting as she pressed harder on his hip. "Watch out, Carter. He's going to puke again. It's from the pain."

And he did. Joss wiped his mouth with an unused dressing she grabbed. "Sorry," he mumbled. He never opened his eyes. His skin was getting paler and clammy. His heart rate was gradually getting faster and faster.

"He's going into shock. We need to find that bullet in his shoulder and get it out or he'll bleed to death right in front of our eyes. He's bleeding out more blood than we're putting in him," Shaw announced, after putting a pressure dressing on the exit wound found on his hip, she pulled more supplies out of her duffle bag. There were a couple kits labeled 'Emergency Trauma' from an operating room at NYC medical center. She poured a strong smelling hand cleanser into her hands and scrubbed them and up her arms. She handed it to Carter and told her to do the same. Carter objected, saying she needed to make sure John was breathing okay, but did as she was told when she got a frighteningly evil look from Shaw. Shaw sat herself cross legged near John's upper abdomen. She opened the emergency pack, pulled on sterile gloves, and took a deep breath. "John, listen to me," Shaw spoke loudly. Joss rubbed his uninjured shoulder. He didn't respond. Shaw tapped his chest. "John, this is going to hurt like hell. You've lost too much blood to give you pain medication. Do what you need to, scream, cry, groan, cuss me out, pass out, I don't really care. Just don't move. Carter is going to hold your shoulders down to help you. Do you hear me? Don't move," Shaw ordered.

The next ten minutes seemed like ten hours to Joss. She could only imagine how long it felt like to John who gasped at first but didn't move for them until it didn't matter because he finally passed out from the pain and went completely still. He was still breathing heavily and he was soaked in sweat. Joss realized she was too. She glanced a couple of times at what Shaw was doing but quickly looked away when she saw her friend probing his wound with a long metal probe. That's when John had passed out and Shaw grunted in satisfaction. She replaced the probe with a big pair of tweezers and a minute later, she triumphantly withdrew it with a lead slug caught in its claws. Blood gushed from the wound. Carter got drafted to hold pressure over the wound and help tie off blood vessels that kept bleeding. She swallowed hard as she did as she was told. Soon the bleeding slowed to barely a trickle.

Shaw leaned back after all his wounds were bandaged and cared for. "Shit! That was cool! Reminds me of my ole' days in the ERs! Doesn't beat working with my stiffs who don't say shit about my technique but damn, what a rush!" Shaw exclaimed, but sobered up when she saw Carter's expression. "Y-you did good too, Carter, and your frog prince is a good listener. Now we'll need to give him more blood and fluids and wait and see. Can you get all the blankets and pillows from my spare bedroom and towels from my bathroom? All of them, we'll need them. I'll get more blood running. I'll watch his breathing while you're gone."

"What are we going to do with him? We can't leave him lying on the wood floor," Joss asked. There had to be way to move him someplace more comfortable. She did not want the man she loved sleeping on a hard floor while he was recovering from being shot twice.

"I don't think we have much a choice. We can't get him up and anywhere in his present condition. Unfortunately, I'm like a foot shorter than him and you're not much taller than me. So we'll clean him and the floor up. We'll put blankets and towels under and over him and watch him like a hawk." Shaw stated, not wanting to worry her friend because John lost a ton of blood.

Joss wasn't happy with the plan, but she didn't have a better one so she left to go do as suggested. By the time she returned ladened down with everything Shaw had cleaned up the equipment she'd used. John was resting quietly, still pale, but the sheen of sweat had disappeared. A new bag of blood was running and a third was ready to go.

Shaw gave him a quick look before she went in the kitchen and returned with a basin of water. They worked together to get John's shirt out from under him and checking the exit wound to make sure it hadn't started bleeding again. They wiped off as much blood as they could from his arms, chest and abdomen and hip, being cautious around the wound where they'd just removed the bullet. Shaw was happy to see only a small amount of fresh blood on that wound.

Joss sent Shaw off to get a mop and fresh water in the basin, kicking and cursing, so she could further undress John alone. She pulled his shorts and boxer-briefs off and washed away any blood she saw before covering him with one of the light blankets she brought earlier.

Shaw returned still spitting mad. "I can't even have one peek at your frog prince?" she demanded handing her the mop.

"No," Joss snapped. Shaw's mouth immediately closed. Shaw was Shaw, her lack of emotions usually didn't upset her, but tonight was different. She wasn't even sure if John was going to make it and Shaw wasn't helping matters. "I'm sorry for my lack of humor, Shaw, but the man I love is lying on your floor unconscious and I…" she said coming to a choked end.

Shaw frowned, feeling like an ass. Shaw didn't feel much, aside from anger, but not everyone was like her and Carter loved the frog prince and she should have realized she was being callous. "I'll mop up," she offered in way of an apology.

Joss shook her head. "No, I'll do it. I rather you make sure he's alright," she murmured. Shaw shrugged, not needing to be persuaded into it. While Carter mopped up the dried blood and vomit, she watched John and the heart monitor.

The floor wasn't spotless but doable and Joss decided she could clean up the rest tomorrow. "I think it looks better, but could use a good scrubbing," she acknowledged.

"Watch him," Shaw ordered and disappeared into her bedroom before Joss had a chance to answer. Her friend reappeared minutes later and pointed over her shoulder. "Go wash up in my bathroom. I left a shirt and some old Adidas track pants I own in there that you can change into," Joss blinked and looked down at herself and grimaced at how she looked. Blood covered her. "Unless of course, you were aiming for the 'bloody massacre look,' which then you nailed it," Shaw responded with her usual dryness.

Joss looked up and gave a wan smile. "Thanks, Shaw,"

"Don't thank me when you realize you're a few inches taller than me and the pants reach your mid ankle."

Joss didn't care if they were flood pants at least they didn't have blood all over them. She entered Shaw's bathroom bringing the basin and mop with her. She poured out the basin of dirty water before running the water in the tub to rinse it out, deciding the mop head could be thrown out. Joss turned, now it was her turn now. She first washed her hands to remove the caked on blood off. She had to scrub her skin and work the soap under her fingernails. Joss swallowed hard as tears blurred her vision as the porcelain sink and clear water pouring in it turned a sick pinkish red color.

"We saved him," she reminded herself as she shut the faucet off and towel dried her hands.

Joss carefully removed her clothing until she stood in just her bra and panties before tugging on the clothes Shaw left for her. The shirt was a little snug in the chest area as she had larger breasts than Shaw but overall it was comfortable. It was just a simple black soft tee. The Adidas pants fit perfectly without any issue about Shaw's lack of height. She exited the bathroom carrying the remains of her clothing and the ruined mop head.

"How's he doing?" she asked instantly as she came upon the scene of Shaw checking on John.

"Breathing," Shaw answered succinctly. Once she was satisfied her patient was, in fact, still with them, she turned to eye Carter. "You look hot in black, Carter."

"Do you own any other color?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Shaw mused.

Joss smiled gently. "I didn't think so. Uh, you got a trash bag I could bum off you so when I leave, no one wonders why I'm carrying bloody clothes?" she asked.

Shaw merely turned and headed for her quaint kitchen that was off to their left. Joss stayed near John as Shaw pulled out a white trash bag and handed it to her. "Do you know what happened tonight?" Shaw asked curiously.

"Root called me to tell me that Martine had used Zoe as a means to lure John into a trap. Somehow the blond bitch realized John knew Zoe and Zoe, scared for her life, gave him up. When I got there Root was already trying to help John by providing backup and I provided John with some cover to get in my car to get the hell out of there. I need to call Root and make sure she's okay before figuring out how to get in touch with Zoe to make sure she's okay," she explained tiredly.

Shaw frowned when she actually kind of cared whether or not the brunette was breathing still. "I, uh, could call Root to make sure she's not dead," she offered hesitantly.

Joss looked at her and smiled briefly. "That would help me out, Shaw. And when she answers, because I believe she will, tell her thank you," she said sincerely. Shaw shrugged. Joss shifted her gaze onto John and prayed she didn't make a mistake by not calling Finch, who probably had connections to get John hospital care without revealing he was there, and instead coming to Shaw. To get out of her head she glanced at Shaw. "You don't mind keeping him here for tonight?" she asked changing subjects as she deposited her ruined clothes into the trash bag and then proceeded to put John's in there too.

"Do I mind keeping your boyfriend hidden?—nah, but when he's conscious and starts asking for food all bets are off. I don't share my food with anyone," Shaw stated darkly.

"I'll make some calls with a friend of John's and mine and see if he can help us move John to a different location so we're not bothering you too long," Joss reassured as she sank into a comfortable recliner near John. She needed to go pick up her son but first she needed to take five.

Shaw shrugged and said, "Speaking of food; I'm hungry, I'm going to make myself a ham sandwich. You want one too I don't mind sharing with you...much."

"Oh my god, how can even think about food after what we just did?" Joss said in consternation. With the way she felt she'd throw it up for sure.

"What? We need to save our strength for when he wakes up. I have a feeling he's going to be a handful when he starts feeling better." Shaw said before she grew more serious. "He's not out of the woods yet. I'll stay up with him tonight, just in case."

Carter immediately cut in. "I'll stay with him. You have done more than enough to help me. If he wakes up, he won't know who you are. But, uh, do you mind watching John for the time being? I need to go pick up my son and stop by my place to grab the portable play pen so Taylor has someplace to sleep tonight."

Shaw gaped. "Wait! You're bringing your pooping machine here?" she asked incredulously.

"He has a name! And of course I am, Shaw, I want to be here for John and I can't do that without my son. Maybe once in a while you can even hold Taylor too," Joss said, feeling oddly evil at the way Shaw paled at the thought.

"Y-yea, sure, I'm not scared of a little human that eats, sleeps, and poops for a living," Shaw muttered.

Joss didn't call her a liar because Shaw probably saved John's life and was hiding him out until they could move him. Her long day was about to get longer as she forced herself up to her tired feet and checked on John before hurrying for the door to go get her son.

* * *

AN: John's about to feel how Joss did when she was pregnant and was forced to rely solely on John.

Thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

_**AN: I'm sorry about the update being a bit late. I was going to post before but I had to tweak the bottom half of the chapter, which has not been reproofed so I apologize in advance for the errors, and then had a funeral to go to. So I thank you for the patience.**_

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The sun was coming up when John stirred. Shaw had made some breakfast for Joss before leaving for her job at the morgue, promising to come back at lunch to check on her patient. Joss busied herself with checking her e-mails, feeding and changing her son, and calling in to work sick with the flu. She needed to stay with John but also to try to dry out her car. While Shaw was home before heading out to work Joss had gone downstairs, hid her car in the back alleyway, and scrubbed the backseat as much as she could. Bleach had been her friend and it was still airing out. Maybe when Shaw was home from work she could head to her place and pack a bag to get some clothes and toiletries.

When she looked up she saw he was watching her. Joss felt a wave of relief wash over her as tears pricked the backs of her eyes as she made a beeline for him. "Oh thank god," she rasped, voice thick with emotion.

"Where am I?" he croaked and his throat felt drier than a desert. He tried to shift his weight and stifled a groan as every single part of his body hurt.

"Shaw's, she's a pathologist with an ER background." Joss explained quietly unsure of what he remembered from yesterday. She got down to the floor and stroked her fingers across his face.

"I feel like I've been shot a few times." he muttered trying to smile for Joss's sake but couldn't quite manage it. He frowned at the look on her face. "Don't cry Joss, it makes me want to beat the hell out of whoever made you and I can't seem to even make my finger lift at the moment."

She gave him a wan smile. "It's just…I've been so scared. There was countless times last night that I debated about just taking you to the hospital against your wishes because you had such a rough night from having a bad reaction to the blood. You started hallucinating and having a fever, and were so upset that I didn't know what to do to calm you down until Shaw appeared and sedated you." she admitted. John shifted only his eyes away and blinked in surprise when he saw Taylor's play pen and the baby in it sleeping soundly. He shifted his eyes back on Joss, whose smile grew. "Though Taylor slept through it all."

"You brought him here?" he asked after he tried and failed to clear his throat.

"I wasn't leaving your side when you needed me so I brought him with me. Do you remember what happened last night?" she asked changing it to what happened.

John stayed still because moving took too much effort and hurt way too damn much. What happened?—and how did he find her? John thought and thought and things came back to him slowly. He had to be on drugs, he hated medication they made him feel loopy and slow. "Some, I had gone to the encampment to meet with Joan," he said barely above a whisper.

"Who's Joan?" Joss inquired softly.

He closed his eyes. "She's someone that took care of me while I was homeless," he admitted feeling lethargic and achy, and hating it. He grew restless as he shifted even as it caused pain to erupt everywhere. "Then Zoe called and it was just to lure me to Martine."

Joss nodded. "Yea, Martine shot you before Root and I got there. Root provided you some backup and I provided you cover to get into my car and I brought you to Shaw." she said still stroking his face, noticing him moving a lot which she frowned at.

"Root was there?" he questioned.

"She was the brunette shooting at Martine to keep her from shooting you anymore," Joss explained.

He tried to nod but failed. "Is she and Zoe okay?" he asked, giving up on trying to speak louder.

"Yes, Root is fine, and Zoe ran and got to safety. Her driver, Bill, is also okay, more shaken up then anything. Zoe lied and told him that it was a client that tried to hurt her so your name didn't come up," Joss murmured, wondering if she needed to apologize for being mad at Zoe.

He was squirming now, his bladder was full and his back was starting to hurt from the floor. "I should get out of here for your safety and your friend's. No telling if Snow hired another assassin or not," John stated and cursed his wounds. He hated getting shot! They took forever to heal.

"You're not going anywhere, at least, not yet. You can't even lift your head, I bet," Joss countered. He tried to prove her wrong and failed miserably and let out an expletive in irritation. Joss realized that he probably had to pee which was really causing his restlessness. She got up and took the plastic container over to him. "I think you need to use this," she said meekly, handing it to him.

He looked everywhere but at her. She had to be kidding but he knew she wasn't. This wasn't the first time he was sidelined from getting a gut shot. But usually he was in the hospital. This wasn't one of those times he was granted such luxuries. John reached for the container, which was difficult enough since his arms felt like they were lead, but his hands felt like they were in mittens and it slipped from his hands.

"John, let me help you," she whispered.

"No!" He tried to brush her hand away from the blanket she was pulling back from his waist. "I can do it myself," he insisted weakly.

Joss stared into John's eyes knowing he was a prideful man. "Let me," she said softly. "You were there for me when I had Taylor. I was weak and helpless and so damn petrified I was going to lose my son. It's my turn to be there for you…to be your strength when you're weak." she added, twisting his arm into submission. His eyes softened a bit but he didn't relax any and he looked in so much pain too. "Besides, this isn't my first time handling what you've got." she teased knowing that perhaps humor might make this less embarrassing and easier for him to accept her help.

"Yea, well, I like when you're handling me in bed and we're both aroused," he grumbled.

"Me too…."

John surrendered and let her help him relieve his bladder because the alternative was worse. She wasn't sure if it was because he had to urinate so badly that he gave in or that her words resonated with him. Joss suspected it was a combination of both. John wasn't happy with the arrangement but he survived and so had she. Once she cleaned the container and washed her hands she rejoined him in Shaw's living room and brought with her some ice chips.

"Figured your throat had to feel dry," she admitted.

He greedily accepted her offer. "Thank you," he whispered, grateful for the ice chips because he was parched.

Joss watched him closely seeing he was clearly tiring quickly. She listened to him chew the ice for a couple minutes and then he grew quiet, asleep again. She fiddled with the blanket on his belly and wished she could help him to the spare bedroom so he could be a little more comfortable. She yawned heavily as the fact that she got very little sleep last night was catching up with her. Taylor began fussing wanting her and sleep would just have to wait a while longer.

Joss bent to pick her son up and cuddled him close. "What do you need baby boy?" she whispered to her Taylor as he fussed and she gently soothed him. "When John is feeling up to it he'll love to hold you just as I'm sure you loved to be held by him. Come on, Tay, let's go change that diaper and play while we watch over John." she murmured as she pressed little kisses against his cheek and peered down at John with love and then carried Taylor to the little makeshift changing table.

* * *

Shaw returned to her townhouse just before noon. It was quiet, except for the heart monitor which was beeping at a rate that satisfied Shaw, around ninety beats a minute; a little high which was to be expected with the guy's injuries who was sleeping on the floor in the middle of her living room. Carter's little ankle biter was having a ball in his playpen as a toy was playing some godawful music but, at least, he was keeping himself entertained because his mother was sound asleep on the couch with a baby book beside her. Shaw softly draped a blanket over her before making sure the baby was okay. Just because holding babies made her want to wet herself didn't mean she wanted the baby hurt.

Once satisfied Taylor was fine she checked John's IVs and then checked his wounds. He woke up with a start when she pulled the blanket back to look at the wound near his hip. She hissed at him. "Don't move or say a word. Joss is sleeping a few feet away. If you wake her up I'll be really pissed and you don't want me pissed," she vowed and John nodded, though she didn't appear to be all that physically opposing. But then Joss said her attitude made up for it.

"I never got to thank you for saving me," John said quietly.

Shaw shrugged. "Carter wanted it." she stated nonchalantly. But her next words belied her previous sentiment; "I came by to check on you for a quick second before I headed back to work. Seems as though you'll be on the road to recovery, we'll try to move you to my guest room tonight and hope like hell you can make it. If you haven't noticed you're like twice the size of Carter and me."

John had all the intentions of leaving this place tonight even though the room spun and even his teeth hurt. He knew Shaw was pumping in medicine as he had two IVs in him. Licking his wounds at home was more preferable than having a nursemaid from hell which he suspected Shaw was going to be. But he didn't say a word as she disappeared and reappeared with ice chips in tow for him, before checking on Taylor, and then left as quickly as she had come. And John fell back into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Zoe opened the door to her penthouse after checking who it was and arched a brow at Root. "I didn't think we did house visits." Zoe remarked before stepping aside to let the tall brunette indoors.

Root grinned as she stalked inside. "Not usually, but today is a rare exception." Root admitted before turning around once Zoe closed the door. "Are you alright, Zoe?" genuine concern flickered in her usual expressionless eyes.

"I'm fine." Zoe reassured. "But tell me something, Root, what happened to the blond?" she asked. She knew that John was recuperating thanks to the detective calling her and she knew Bill was alright but she hadn't a clue what happened to the blond bitch after she ran away.

Root made a face. "You needn't worry about her, Zoe, she isn't a threat to you anymore. I need you to tell me everything you know about John though."

Zoe arched a brow."Why?"

She shrugged."I like knowing who and what I'm dealing with, and finding information on him has been terribly difficult. Everything is redacted and I can't hack in, which makes him very interesting." Root explained. Her interest was piqued. No one's information was unobtainable from her before. But this man's was shrouded in mystery. And what made it all the more interesting is that it wasn't the CIA's doing that was protecting his identity. It was an unidentified marker, which meant someone else hacked into the CIA's database and effectively made John invisible to everyone. Zoe didn't respond so she decided to add an incentive to get her sexy fixer to speak. "I did provide you with beneficial information on Carl Elias and Alonzo Quinn, didn't I?" Root inquired.

"You did, and I paid you in favors for it." Zoe agreed."I kept you abreast of Sameen Shaw's love life or rather lacking of one, remember."

"I do remember. It makes my heart feel good to know she didn't date anyone since me." Root said with a sigh. Zoe smiled at the look on her face. "But if you'd like any other information I can find out for you on other less scruples men or women I want a payment up front and that comes in the form of telling me everything you know about John. Sameen will be mine soon enough so keeping tabs on her love life isn't going to cover it anymore."

Zoe kept her face neutral."I only know he's phenomenal in bed and was a CIA agent." she replied smoothly."We met a few years prior to his retirement by the CIA and we had a very easy arrangement; I give him information on people he asked about and he fucked my brains out." she recited with little embarrassment.

"I see."

Zoe shrugged."Our arrangement lasted like that even after his retirement when he came seeking information on Carl Elias to help Joss Carter. He ended our arrangement though once he fell for the lovely detective and sought information on you to stop your investigation into Mark Snow."

"And what did you tell him?"

"Nothing," Zoe answered honestly.

"So he doesn't know anything about me anymore than I know anything about him." Root said feeling smug, at least, for that.

Zoe nodded."If he knows anything about you it didn't come from me." she replied simply.

Root nodded, believing her. "I'm glad you're alright, Zoe. I'd hate to find myself a new fixer in New York." Root replied as she turned to head for the door. She needed to go visit Sameen and putting it off any longer was feeling physically impossible. She loved the stubborn angry little brunette and couldn't wait to see her again. Her insides had turned to mush when Sameen had called to make sure she was alright. Sameen cared and hated that she did, while Root reveled in it.

"Hey Root," Zoe called out stopping her retreat. Root turned to look at the exotic beauty and eyed her impatiently. "Care to be more specific as to why I don't have to worry about the blond?"

Root grinned. "Let's just say she's tied up with something." she answered, tongue in cheek. With that she turned and left without another word.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading. I wanted authentic with John being cared for even though he despises it. It will be carried over for the next several chapters as Shaw and Joss take care of him :)


	14. Chapter 14

_**AN: I'm sorry. I feel like I have to keep apologizing to you guys because you are patient with me and I've been hit and miss with posting. Every time I think I can post on some sort of schedule something comes up. And then I learn today that my dad, who has lungs of a 118 year old man and has congestive heart failure, and just won't stop smoking and drinking, is now hiding the fact that he has severe pain in his groin. We only know because he confided in his best friend who called my mom. It's so tiring to watch someone give you a giant fuck you as he does the very thing you ask him not to do so he can live a little longer. I'm sorry guys. I'm just upset and I just want to post not complain. I'm sitting here crying because he just doesn't give a shit while I do.  
**_

* * *

When John woke up again Shaw was home from work and she had brought Thai takeout with her. He usually enjoyed Thai but his stomach rolled at the smell and he was afraid he was going to be sick but he took several deep breaths and things settled down. The ladies had eaten in the kitchen leaving him on the floor, and then came out to the living room when they were finished as if realizing his plight.

"John, do you want to have some of the wonton broth?" Joss asked gently. He shook his head as his stomach turned over again.

Shaw spoke up. "Okay, frog prince, ready to try to sit up and make your way to the bedroom? We're going to have company soon and even I can't have a human shaped rug."

"I need my underwear back first," he demanded. He wasn't going anywhere until he had something on. He was in the presence of ladies and a baby.

"Don't get snippy with me, mister. I've seen it all before so who cares about underwear!" Shaw growled at him as Joss said," "I'll go get you some underwear."

"Is this like good nurse bad nurse?" he wondered because useless chitchat took his mind off the fact that he was too weak to dress himself. It took his mind off the fact that he was too weak to do anything.

"Who is the bad nurse because, buddy, if it wasn't for me you'd be pushing up daisies?!" Shaw reminded with dryness but an energy lit in her usual dull brown eyes. Joss wondered if she was having fun arguing with John.

"I've seen better beside manner from snakes," he griped, finding himself enjoying the verbal sparring match.

"My other patients don't mind."

"That's because they're dead," he retorted stubbornly.

Shaw smirked. "The best kind of patients; they can't whine like you're doing," she reasoned.

Joss smiled as she listened to the two snipe at each other while she retrieved his washed and dried boxer-briefs. They were the only things able to be salvaged of his clothing. She helped him get his legs in and helped him pull them up over his slender hips. She was careful to make sure the elastic didn't snap onto his wounds. He grunted when she bumped his injured hip. It hurt like a bad tooth ache. "Sorry," she whispered in his ear.

It took fifteen long minutes to just get him into the recliner next to where Joss had sat earlier. Both she and Shaw were breathless from exertion and John was sweating and gray in color by the time he collapsed into it.

Shaw spoke up, almost gently, for her, anyway, "John, you're staying here tonight. You're just too weak to walk to the back of my place. And if we got you half way there and you passed out, you'd be in worse shape than if we'd left you here in the recliner. There's another unit of blood in the fridge and I'm going to give it to you now and increase your IV fluids. You feel stronger in the morning."

"No!" He said more forcefully than he'd intended. He could do it, he'd just make himself.

"Yes," Shaw dug in.

He felt like a dishrag, a sour smelling one at that. "Please," he tried, maybe being polite might work.

"John, stay in the recliner tonight which has to be better than the floor by a country mile. And in the morning, if you feel up to it, we'll get you to the bedroom…and along the way we can stop at the bathroom so you can wash up and do whatever," Joss tried, if all else failed: bribe him.

He knew they were right, he just hated admitting it. "Alright, alright. You win," he conceded, already exhausted and thoughts of even trying to move made him feel overwhelmed.

Shaw rolled her eyes. Of course, if Carter said it then he'd listen. "Alright," Shaw took control again. "Your friend and Root will be here any time now so we should pick this shit up since Prince Charming can't."

John eyed Shaw irritably, who bent to clean up the floor, before looking at Joss. "Where's Taylor?" he asked suddenly.

Joss looked up. "Asleep in the guest room, with everyone coming over I thought it would be better he was in there so he doesn't get awakened which will be hell to get him back to sleep," she admitted before helping him recline back in the chair. "Maybe if you're feeling stronger you can hold him. Taylor's been missing you."

Shaw made a sound. "Better him than me. I thought I was going to wet myself holding that tiny human blob," she muttered. John tried to control his smile but failed and Shaw saw it. "What's so funny, frog prince?" she sneered as she clutched the towels to her chest.

"Just the fact that you aren't the least bit scared of me but you're petrified of probably the only human smaller than you."

Shaw narrowed her eyes on him. "Say that again and I might just accidentally give you an overdose," she threatened. John hid his smile because even though he felt like shit he kind of liked Shaw even with her personality disorder. He saw her checking on Taylor and she cared about Joss which made her even better.

Shaw disappeared from view just as there was a knock on the door, Joss went to answer and John looked up to see Harold enter limping harshly. "Oh my god, when Joss called to tell me you had gotten shot I couldn't stay away. Are you alright?" he asked concernedly as he stopped at his feet.

John eyed Joss, who lifted her chin defiantly, then back at Finch who was peering at the bandages with obvious alarm. "I'll be fine, Finch, you know I've had worse."

"Are you sure, John?" Harold asked, unwilling to tell John just how horrible he looked.

Shaw snickered as she reentered the room. "That's code for you look and smell like dog shit, frog prince," she stated.

Harold blinked in surprise at Shaw's abrasive nature. But John spoke up; "Uh, I'm glad you're here Finch because you can have some of your people transport me back to my place where I can relax and heal up."

"No!" Shaw snapped earning both male gazes feeling miffed that he didn't want to be under her care anymore. "Does it look like he's ready to be transported?" she demanded with a motion at John's general direction. "He barely could get up and we had to settle him in the recliner!"

Harold shook his head. "No, it doesn't. John, I agree with um, I never got your name," Harold said as he looked at Shaw awkwardly.

"I'm Sameen Shaw but everyone calls me Shaw," she announced, though it sounded like a threat. Perhaps she didn't like her first name.

"Alright, Miss Shaw…"

"No Miss, just Shaw!" Shaw ordered.

Harold appeared flummoxed by Shaw but then a small smile graced his friendly face. "Alright, Shaw it is. You can call me Harold," he expressed before turning his full attention onto John once more. "I must agree with Shaw on this one, John. You're not well enough to go home yet and she has taken great care of you," he murmured not seeing Shaw puff up at the praise. John rolled his eyes as Harold unwitting just made a friend instead of foe. "Does anyone know if Martine is still on the loose?" he asked as he glanced around the room.

"She's not…."

All eyes shifted towards the brunette woman who entered Shaw's place. She was tall, slim, and pretty with an upturned nose almost in an arrogant manner. Her hair fell in curly waves across her shoulders. Her dark gaze was intelligent. And her presence seemed to immediately irritate Shaw.

"Good evening, Sameen," Root greeted. Shaw didn't respond other than shooting daggers her way.

Joss ignored Shaw's response as she held out a hand to the tall sleek brunette. "I want to thank you for that text because we got John just in the nick of time," she said sincerely. Root shifted her adoring gaze off Shaw and took her hand with a crooked smile. Joss took a wide sweeping gaze over the mysterious woman and realized there was more to her than merely a hacker P.I.

"No need to thank me, Joss, it's all a part of the job," she reassured before she turned her attention onto John. "How are you?"

"I'll be fine," John answered, feeling as though he was sounding like a broken record. "So you're the mysterious Root."

"I am. And I must assume you are equally mysterious John," Root murmured.

"You've tried to find out who he is?" Joss asked, not sure she liked that.

Root nodded. "I did. I like knowing who I'm dealing with," she continued. Harold discreetly made himself scarce. Root, however, paid him no attention as she focused her unblinking gaze on John. "I know who you were before Langley came knocking but that's about where it ends. I know you stumbled across your boss selling American secrets to the Chinese government but that's due to your pretty detective hiring me, and everything else is conveniently gone without a trace." she said with interest palpable in her eyes.

Joss felt her hackles rising. John's expression didn't change though he looked like he was growing more exhausted and in more pain with each passing minute. She fought the urge to ask Shaw to quietly sedate him while they talked.

"And you're Samantha Groves, aka Root, a former government hacker before finding a new career in private investigation because you were cast aside once you outlived your usefulness. You use Root as a moniker with only select people knowing your real name because if your name ever got out then you might attract certain attention you want to avoid," he countered. Joss shot him a surprised look. He'd obviously been doing his homework!

Root opened and then closed her mouth. "H-how did you know that?" she asked after a moment.

John shrugged. "I have my ways," he murmured vaguely. Well, one way really, one that came in the form of Harold Finch.

Root eyed him speculatively. But Joss didn't care if John and Root were sizing each other up trying to figure the other out and what their motives were. All she wanted to know about was Martine and what Root meant she wasn't a threat anymore. "What did you mean that Martine isn't out on the loose?" Joss asked circling back to the conversation they really needed to have.

"Just as it sounds, detective, she's not on the loose."

"You killed her?" Joss demanded. She shook her head. "That wasn't a part of the deal and I won't stand for a crime being committed just to catch another criminal. That isn't how justice works."

"Calm down, Detective, I didn't kill her," Root admonished her as if she was a child, and Joss was finding her tone a tad patronizing and grating on her nerves. "John winged her. All I did was keep the pressure on her so you could get John out of there since he was a sitting duck without cover. Martine ran out of bullets but she's a feisty one so I had to get very hands on." Root explained then sent Shaw a look. "I like my women feisty and hard to get."

"Gag me," Shaw growled.

"Anyways I'm trying to convince her to help me capture Mark Snow if I pay her triple his rate but so far I'm unsuccessful in my attempt to woo her. Perhaps she doesn't like being tied to a chair and threatened with an iron unlike some women I know." Root explained and eyebrows rose high at that. She waved off their incredulous looks. "What? I would just syphon the money from Snow's accounts if she agrees."

Joss let it go that she was more incredulous about the BDSM with Shaw than she was on how Root would pay Martine off. "Let me get this straight Root, you kidnapped an assassin?" she demanded.

Root shrugged in response. "Yes. She doesn't want to help us because John is a former CIA agent and shot her. I think she hates the CIA for some reason."

John tried to move on the recliner but struggled to even shift an inch without feeling fatigued. "I should leave. As the more things go wrong for Snow the more unpredictable he could become. Joss is too important to risk being near."

"You're not going anywhere," Joss said firmly before rubbing her forehead. "You talked to Martine, Root, did she check in with Mark?"

"No, she claims she didn't trust Mark to simply show up himself and kill John leaving her with nothing."

"So we're back to square one," she commented, feeling a headache forming. "If Martine isn't going to help lure Snow into a trap than she's useless to us."

"What about the information I already uncovered about Mark Snow?—that is more than enough to get a search warrant and even get an arrest," Root wondered.

"I handed it over to my partner who took it to a contact in the FBI but he's being thorough with it. I think it's a wait and see thing but John's life is on the line here. He might not care but I do," Joss said tersely with a shared look with John, who thankfully had enough sense to remain silent.

"I can continue tailing him," Root offered.

John shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. Snow's smart, eventually he'll realize he's being followed and I can't run the risk of him deducing who hired you in the first place. I think our best course of action is let this FBI agent handle matters."

"John, Snow will just hire someone else to try to kill you and without Root keeping tabs on him then I won't be able to know who it is to keep you safe," Joss argued. John could be so stubborn about saving everyone but himself!

Shaw looked between Carter and her frog prince before easily deciding to side with Carter. "Being that I'm the one paying for your services, Root, I say keep tailing Snow." Shaw ordered and John glared harshly at her. She shrugged. "Sorry, frog prince, but you know the saying 'bros before hoes,' well I'm sticking with my girl here on this one."

"Did you just call me a ho?" John asked dryly.

"If the shoe fits," Shaw taunted.

"It doesn't, he's _all_ mine." Joss remarked possessively, missing Harold's delighted smile as he had been listening in on the conversation from the hall.

Root grinned uncaring about the banter between Shaw, John, and the detective. "I was hoping you'd say that because I'll be charging you double now," she purred. Shaw's look turned apoplectic. "I want another date. And I want our first date sometime next week."

Shaw counted to ten before forcing a smile. "Fine, two dates to pay off Carter's debt and that's it," Shaw snarled.

"I'll take it. Two dates will be enough." Root said coyly.

"Enough for what?" Shaw demanded.

"You'll see," Root said with a wink earning a harsh look from Shaw. She looked to Carter. "What am I supposed to do with blondie since I'm clearly forbidden from killing her?"

"I'm pretty sure she's in the system so we'll arrest her and let justice prevail."

Root frowned. "Sounds awfully boring. Can't we do something else. I mean she shot and nearly killed your boyfriend."

"No. You're going to move her from wherever the hell you're keeping her and we'll contact the FBI into letting them know we have the whereabouts known on a hired gunman." Joss stated tersely. She surveyed the room, careful to not look for Finch realizing he had hidden the moment Root appeared, and took stock that everyone was in agreement.

Root left shortly after and John fell asleep restlessly, although Shaw helped with matters as she injected more medicine into his IV which made him drowsy and unable to fight the urge to sleep. Harold stayed for only another twenty minutes before deciding to leave with the promise he'd be back tomorrow to talk about things. Shaw grabbed a snack and then departed for her bedroom because she had an early morning shift. Joss was the last one left. She checked on John before leaving a big cup of ice chips for him, then kissed his stubble roughened jaw before heading to Shaw's guest bedroom with lots to think about as she checked on her son, finally laying down for however long before Taylor woke up wanting a change and some food. Unfortunately things weren't going the way she had hoped and tomorrow she needed to go to work.

Joss yawned heavily as she got ready for bed. It was a long eventful day but thankfully John was doing a little better. She frowned when her phone rang. Her frown deepened when she saw it was Root. "Hello Root, what's wrong?" she said in answer as she set the phone to her ear.

"Do I only call when something is wrong?"

"Yes."

Root sighed. "Well this time is no different. I went to go grab Martine to leave her in a remote location for the FBI to find but she's missing."

"Excuse me,"

"Missing, you know, as in, not here anymore."

"I know what missing means, Root." Joss said as her tiredness faded away replaced with anger. Had Martine gone missing or did Root misplace her on purpose? "Are you sure she's missing or more that you don't want to do things my way?"

Root was quiet for several moments before finally responding, "I heard you loud and clear, detective. This is your rodeo. I'm not losing that chance at getting a second date with Sameen. Martine is gone and I had nothing to do with it."

"I believe you." she said roughly, hating that she did. "But what the hell does it mean that she's gone? Did she escape?" This was why you didn't take an assassin to god knows where!

"No. There's a sign of struggle. Fresh blood is on the floor but I scanned the area looking for hidden cameras or wiretaps and found nothing. Not that I am going to stick around for much longer to worry about it."

"Do you think Snow realized you're following him?"

"No, Mark Snow has no clue. He's a typical man…blind and stupid. But maybe someone who is looking for Martine themselves saw me with her." Root theorized.

"Possible." Joss agreed. Martine was a stone cold killer which meant she had to have made enemies. It would be much easier to know what they were dealing with if they could get a positive identification on her aside from a first name.

"It's not possible; men are typically stupid and blind."

Joss rolled her eyes. "I meant about Martine. Not all men are stupid and blind." she muttered with exasperation. "Did you get anything out of her to help identify who the hell Martine is?"

"No."

Joss wasn't quite sure if Root was telling the truth or not but she was too tired and too worried about John to press harder. Couldn't just one thing go right? "Just focus on Snow for now. I'll try to put out some feelers with informants of mine and ask Fusco to do the same to see if we can find Martine."

"I have a couple contacts of my own that I'll ask to see if they can find her as I feel I'm partly to blame for this." Root murmured.

Joss chose to not respond. "I need to go Root. If you hear anything, call me immediately." she ordered. Joss hung up, checked on her son, and collapsed on the bed ready for a good long cry. Nothing was going right. How was she ever going to save John from his past if everything was conspiring against them? Who possibly could have taken Martine? Was it a threat to Martine? Was it a threat to John? Or, the least likely scenario, could it be a threat to Root? All three had secrets but John's were the only ones she was invested in. She rolled onto her side and viewed her son who was asleep in the playpen and watched him sleep until sleep finally claimed her.

* * *

AN: Just what Joss needs right now is another wrinkle added to the problem they currently have. But the whereabouts of Martine won't be mysterious for too long :)

Thank you for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

_**AN: I'm back and in a freer mood. I am back to working out that helps me deal with my anxiety and I have told myself not to dwell on my father's problems since he won't help himself. Now, I'm going to work really hard on getting back to regular posting because 1.)you deserve it, and 2.) John/Joss deserve it. I still adore these two little honey buns. **_

* * *

Shaw strode into her living room the next morning to find her patient sleeping in the recliner. She smirked as she eyed him before heading for her kitchen needing to make some coffee and some food. She was hungry. Once the coffee pot was brewing delicious smelling coffee, she decided to go check on her patient. Shaw smirked at him as she realized he was awake and watching her.

"Let me look at your wounds." Shaw ordered. He was surprised that she was gentler than her tone. She helped him sit forward when she returned the recliner to a sitting position. He hissed and she saw his knuckles turn white on the arms of the chair when she poked around his hip wound. "Yep, that one is going to hurt the most. The bullet bounced off the bone and tore some of the muscles. You'll be walking like a little old man for some time with that wound. Carter will be on top for a long while," she laughed, though he stoically ignored her or, at least, tried. "Hungry?"

"No," he answered shortly.

Almost like she cared, she asked "nauseated?"

He wouldn't admit that he was because it wasn't in his nature too. John preferred to suffer through it without medicine because he kept his head clear. Shaw dug a needle and pre-filled syringe out of her bag and injected it into his IV line. It stung. "What's that?" he asked.

"For your nausea," Shaw explained, cleaning up the dirty dressings around him.

"I didn't say I was nauseated," he countered.

"You're green. Unless you're Shrek, you're nauseated," Shaw stated, loving the annoyed look on John's face. She hadn't had this much fun with someone in a while. For the most part he kept up with her mouth, dishing it back, so that was new for her. He shut his eyes trying to shut her out. "Just as I thought, the shot will help. I'll tell Carter to fix you some toast later."

"I have to go to work today," Joss announced, and they both looked at her. John still couldn't believe how this beautiful woman loved him in return. His eyes drifted onto Taylor as she carried him and a longing to hold the boy rushed over him. "But I texted Finch and he's going to be with John today while we're both at work, so he'll give John his toast."

"Whatever, as long as Harold doesn't eat any of my food then: mi casa es su casa." Shaw muttered with an indifferent shrug.

Joss smiled in response before looking at John seriously as she stepped close to him and rubbed a free hand through his hair. "How're you feeling, John? You still look pale…even a little green." she asked softly as she swayed with Taylor in her arms.

"That's what happens when you're in Shaw's presence for too long," he replied darkly. He was starting to feel a little grumpy.

Shaw narrowed her eyes on him. "Oh?—do you want me to punch you in your injured hip we'll see what color you'll turn then?"

"Hey you two!—John you aren't up to snuff to go toe to toe with Shaw for sustained periods, she'll just wear you out. Not to mention that she saved your life," Joss reminded.

John had the grace to look apologetic. He shifted his gaze off Joss and onto Shaw, who was smirking at his dressing down. "I'm sorry, Shaw, she's right; you saved my life which I'm grateful for. I shouldn't take out my frustrations on you."

Shaw puffed up. "Yea, I did save Carter's frog prince singlehandedly, didn't I?!"

Joss pinned her friend with a look who needed an ego stroking like she needed another hole in her head. "And you…Shaw, you don't want to piss me off, so I suggest you lay off John. He's been through enough and doesn't need you putting him through the verbal wringer while he's trying to recuperate, got it?" Joss threatened. Shaw held up her hands in surrender. "Now how are you feeling John?" she repeated her question from earlier and wanted a real damn answer this time.

"I'm getting better, can we get to the back room…please?" he asked softly. He held up his arms with the IVs and fingered the monitor wires. "Can we get rid of this stuff too?" he looked beseechingly at Joss. She shrugged and turned to Shaw.

"No, not yet, but, maybe tonight depending on if you keep food and fluids down and if you don't get a fever. And if and when I remove you from your IVs then you can go wherever the hell you want but until then you listen to me!" Shaw refuted immediately. John just nodded. He really didn't have any choice. "Okay, let's get up and moving," she said as she took his right side. They both waited for Joss to put Taylor down in his playpen and he kicked his legs wildly. Joss hurried over and took her position at his left side. He pushed himself up. The room spun and tilted sideways. His legs felt like jelly. "Whoa, John_,_ take some slow deep breaths. Do you want to sit back down?" Shaw asked, with her old training kicking in.

"No! I'm okay. Let's go…" he said, nearly close to begging. He was not going to allow his body to betray him. He would just force it to work.

"Yea, sure you're okay, the sweat is just beading out on your forehead from the room being so warm," Shaw snickered but slowly walked him forward, his underwear his only clothes. Joss bumped his hip with every step, but he worked through the pain. She wasn't doing it on purpose and he didn't want to make her feel bad.

John decided the walk to the back of the apartment was more like a marathon. He finally reached a room he was anxious to visit, the bathroom. He stopped and turned to go in. Joss gently rubbed his arm. "John, no, let's just get you to the bedroom. It's right next door."

"Joss, please, I need to wash up and feel more like myself. Shaw, will tell you I can do it," he said, realizing he was short of breath and things were getting fuzzy but refused to let anyone know just how unsteady he was. He despised being weak but he wasn't giving up the bathroom for anything.

To his surprise Shaw agreed with him. It was a challenge to get his big body in the tiny room. He found himself sitting on the toilet with Shaw holding his head between his legs. "Slow deep breaths. That's it, slow and easy." A minute later, "Better?" He nodded and greedily accepted the cool washcloth that she handed him.

"Can I have some privacy….please," he asked shakily. "Just for a couple minutes." he added, swallowing his pride because he knew he needed Joss and Shaw's help to make it to the bedroom.

"And I thought guys had no modesty!" Shaw murmured with a hint of compassion. "We'll leave you alone but the door stays open." she ordered.

As soon as Shaw was gone she heard the door slam behind her. She shook her head, smirking. He must be feeling a little better to be such a grumpy bastard. Joss leaned against the wall looking stricken. "He'll be fine, Carter. Grumps just wants to wash up a little. He'll find my soap a little girly for his tastes but it's better than nothing." Shaw said, and led her to the kitchen where she snuck some crackers while eyeing the bathroom door and hoping she didn't hear a crash. "Besides he wants to flex some muscle try to steal some independence back from me."

While he was still in the bathroom Shaw wrote out instructions of what to try to feed him and what to do with IVs for this Harold guy. Shaw expected Carter's frog prince to sleep most of the morning after his big move down her hallway. A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and both she and Carter rushed over to him where John was slowly and wobbly steered into the bedroom and helped into bed. He couldn't stifle a groan when his legs were lifted onto the bed; Joss was soft and gentle, Shaw was impersonal and quick. His head fell back onto a stack of pillows.

Joss spoke softly to him. "Take a nap. I'll be with you until Harold gets here and I'll be back as soon as possible," she insisted. He was going to say something but he seemingly couldn't manage to keep his eyes open and Joss was the last thing he saw as he fell asleep.

* * *

John awoke when he felt a presence and snapped his eyes open. "Oh dear, I knew we'd wake you." Grace whispered, standing immediately as she had sat down next to his hip.

"It's fine, Grace."

Her big blue eyes grew misty. "When Harold told me you were shot and in bad shape I insisted to come by and make sure you were okay. I was so worried. I know you don't like hearing this but we care about you, John, you're our friend," Grace whispered as she blinked her eyes a few extra times to keep the tears at bay.

"I know, I care too, Grace."

She nodded and smiled at him. "So how about some breakfast?" she offered.

"Pancakes, bacon, and eggs?—I love pancakes with lots of syrup," he said instantly; for the first time since getting shot he did actually feel a little hungry.

Grace laughed. "Almost, we were given a strict list for you by your friend, Shaw. So how does dry toast sound?"

John sighed. Everyone had to start small, right? "I guess," he muttered less than enthused.

"Stay put, I'll be back with your toast in a jiff," she teased.

John gave her a look. "Where will I go?—getting in here took two women, and all my energy and then some," he replied dryly.

She smiled again as she left. But when she walked back into the bedroom a few minutes later she nearly dropped the plate of dry toast. "John! What are you doing?! What happened to 'getting in here took all my energy and then some' huh?" Grace exclaimed when she found him sitting on the edge of the bed.

He didn't look very comfortable but he gave her a wobbly grin. "I had a little left in the tank. And there is nothing worse than dried toast crumbs in your bed," he said breathlessly as if that explained what he was doing.

Harold limped into the room with a frown. "I heard Grace and clearly I see why. John, Shaw didn't say you could be moving around by yourself."

"I'm a grown adult. She's not the boss of me," John replied petulantly.

"Being that she is your pseudo doctor I think that makes her the boss of you," Grace commented dryly.

"Fine but if you don't tell her, she'll never know," he said conspiratorially sensing an unwitting ally in Grace. Harold wasn't going to go against Shaw's demands and neither would Joss, but Grace would if he gave her the most pitiful and pathetic look he could muster. He saw her sneak some table scraps to Chumley due to the sappy look the dog gave her. Grace was already caving judging by the way she looked uncertain.

"But I do!" John glanced at the doorway and frowned when Joss stood there, with arms folded across her chest, and had a look on her face that didn't bode well for him.

"Joss, what are you doing here?" he wondered innocently.

Her brows arched and she still stood with arms folded across her chest. "It's my lunch break and I wanted to tell you something this morning but with your trip to the bedroom you were too exhausted to talk so I decided to come by and eat here so we can talk. I'm glad I did. John, you're not supposed to be moving around much yet which I happen to agree with. You're weak, and with our luck you'll face plant and do more damage to yourself," Joss harped with a disapproving glare his way.

John took the piece of toast Grace held out to him quietly waving the white flag of surrender. He couldn't wait until he was better so everyone would stop trying to take care of him. Everyone in the room saw his hands shaking and gratefully no one brought it up.

He took a couple tiny bites. "It's the best dry toast I've ever had," he said, buttering Grace up for the future.

Joss watched John like a hawk seeing him splinting his stomach and twisting to get the pressure off his wounded hip. "I think it's time to lie back down John, you look uncomfortable." Joss said softly to take the sting out of the order. John was about as good of a patient as she figured: terrible.

"So you wanted to tell me something," he said instead remaining upright. He was tired of lying down. Harold and Grace left the room to let them talk privately.

Her eyes were glued to him and appeared as though she wanted to say something but decided against it. "You're not going to like it and before I even tell you what happened I'm going to preemptively tell you that I refuse to go anywhere." she murmured, which had alarm bells ringing in his head. "But Root called me last night, after our little pow-wow, to inform me that she had gone to go collect Martine to give her up to police only to find her missing."

"Missing." he repeated slowly as he stiffened. "Be more specific, Joss, is she missing because Root wanted her missing or did she escape?"

Joss's lips twitched up in a small smile. "Our minds think alike because I asked Root the very same questions. Root claims she didn't have anything to do with her disappearance and I believe her."

"Did she escape? Joss, she knows what you look like…"

She held up a hand to stop him. "I know that. Root thinks that Martine didn't escape but was taken. This morning before work I went with Root back to where she had been keeping the blond whackjob and there are signs of forced entry. Whoever took Martine did so by force and Martine fought like crazy." she explained, deciding to not include the fact that Root hired a cleaning service that she trusted to discreetly clean up the blood and leave no trace of Martine's disappearance there. Root hacked into the camera feeds and deleted everything. It was as if they never went there.

"Do we have any ideas as to who would do so? Could Snow have seen Root take Martine after she shot me and waited until Root was gone long enough to abduct Martine himself? What we've learned is that Martine didn't trust him enough to check in with him." John asked as he fought the wave of exhaustion as he shifted again trying to get comfortable. His hip hurt like hell.

Joss shrugged helplessly. "We don't have any clues as to who did it. It could be Snow that saw Root take Martine. Or it could be someone completely unrelated to you that saw Root take Martine and had a beef with the blond psycho."

"Or with the secretive brunette who has gained a lot of enemies both from the government and since she became a P.I." John murmured thoughtfully.

"Too many suspects and not enough leads." Joss muttered with exasperation. "Even Zoe doesn't know much about Martine. Now Root's a different story, I think there is more to their relationship than Zoe is being truthful about." John looked at her with surprise. "What?—you're not the only one that can get the fixer as your C.I." she replied with a smirk. "But I told her in no uncertain terms that I'm not sleeping with her as payment. We decided I pay for drinks and I offer some updates on you."

John didn't know how he felt about this 'updates' because why would Zoe even care about him and how he was. Joss chuckled ruefully. "You still don't believe she actually cares about you and thinks of you as a friend."

No, he didn't, because Zoe was always a person that did things that benefited her but he wasn't going to argue with Joss about it. There wasn't much they could do on the Martine front until they could manage to figure out who would want to take her and why. It could be someone connected to Root or to Martine that just so happened to have witnessed what was happening. John didn't believe in coincidences but he had seen a few to know that they weren't unheard of.

So instead of worrying about something he had no control of he focused on something else entirely."I want to use the bathroom," he said instead as he gingerly scooted to the edge, determined to have his way no matter who got mad. John wasn't used to being taken care of and while he appreciated it, but he felt better so that meant he could walk.

"I don't think…"

"Joss, please, I know you're only listening to Shaw's advice but I can walk. I won't lie: it hurts like a bitch and I'll be tired from the movement because I do feel weak, but I want to use the bathroom like an adult," John said honestly.

She stared at him and conceded to his request. Joss knew he was getting antsy. She felt the same way after the C-section with Taylor and her mother tried to do everything for her. She had felt smothered. No doubt, John felt the same way too, and he wasn't used to having so many people care about him and catering to his every whim as he healed up. Maybe if she gave a little he would too.

"Alright, against my better judgment, I'll help you to the bathroom." she conceded. John didn't give her a chance to change her mind either as he became busy with trying to keep his feet under him as he pushed up and she took his arm for support.

He hissed as she accidentally hit his injured hip. "Other side please," he ground out, Joss complied without saying anything. They managed the short distance to the bathroom in relative ease but John grabbed a hold of the sink looking paler than before. "I'm good," he said unevenly.

"Call me when you're done," she said, patting him gently on his back, closing the door behind her when she left.

Joss headed out into the living room to make small talk with Harold and Grace, as they all game planned for John's eventual move from Shaw's place back home. She waited several minutes and then relaxed as the door opened and John stepped out holding tightly onto the doorframe. She rushed to his side and supported as much of his weight as she could, finally getting him back into bed. John, eyes closed, laid rigid in the bed, waiting for the pain to ease.

Joss fussed with his pillow as Grace fiddled with his blankets near his feet making sure they were smooth. Harold, for his part, let the women fuss over him but took the plate with his cold half-eaten piece of toast out of the room.

"Uh, you're not going to tell Shaw about this little show of defiance, right?" he asked softly, after Grace excused herself, feeling like he was wiped of all strength.

"What happens between us stays between us," she promised. He gave a quick small grin. Joss liked seeing his grin again feeling as though it was ages since she last seen it. She couldn't stop herself as she leaned over and kissed him warmly. He kissed her back softly and after an all-too brief kiss she pulled back. "I love you, John."

"I love you too, Joss." he whispered back, his eyes were half-mast and he looked like he was fighting the need to sleep.

"Stop resisting sleep John, you need rest if you want to get on your own two feet again." she insisted as she slid the blanket up on him further. "I suppose I could cuff you to the bed though I've been wanting to do that under much different circumstances."

He was robbed the chance to reply back because he was sound asleep.

* * *

Fusco lifted the crime-scene tape for Joss before following her and they headed to the waiting officer side by side down the long hallway of a rather gross apartment complex that wasn't in the best part of town, where a lot of murders have taken place. It was not hers or Fusco's first time at the apartment complex.

"What do we have?" she asked the young officer.

"Deceased female, in her mid to late thirties, and was killed viciously." the officer said immediately as he led them into the apartment. They followed the officer to a bedroom and Joss stopped in her tracks. Tied spread eagle to the bed was the hired hit woman that was set to kill John until she paid back the money to Mark.

Fusco looked back at her. "You okay, Carter?" he asked, perplexed by her reaction. They both had seen pretty grizzly sights as homicide detectives and this didn't even rank in the top three worse they've seen.

She forced a nod and knew he didn't buy it but kept quiet. Joss noted chopsticks sticking out of one of her gunshot wounds. There were several superficial cuts as if to torment her not to mortally wound Martine. But she had her throat slashed open and had bled to death. Whoever did this wanted to torment her before killing her.

They put on their latex gloves and searched the room for any evidence but found nothing. Could someone of Martine's past be behind the murder? Could Mark Snow be the culprit of this vicious murder because she failed to kill John? She caught Fusco's gaze and he nodded for her to head out with him. Joss nodded curtly and followed him out letting the crime scene unit finish up.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Your reaction is what's up, Carter. We've both seen gruesome shit together so want to explain to me why you paled and stopped dead?" he demanded.

Joss frowned and strode to their car refusing to speak aloud in front of people. Fusco took the cue and followed her to the car and they both climbed inside. "That was the woman hired to kill John." she admitted.

"Oh. Do you think it's Mark Snow?"

"I don't know what to think." She needed to talk to John about this. She needed to know if Mark Snow was the type to do this to Martine or did Martine's past catch up with her.

* * *

Joss returned to Shaw's place later that evening, with Taylor in tow, and starving with her mind elsewhere specifically on the fact that Martine was dead. She had skipped lunch because she had come by here to check up on John. Before she had left back for work after lunch break, Harold had decided to head to John's place to pick up some necessities for him which she had wanted to do but never had gotten the chance. She was grateful and was sure John felt the same. Shaw met her at the door, opening it for her so she could enter with Taylor in his car seat. Taylor was wide-eyed and staring up at Shaw as he sucked on his pacifier.

"Hi little pooper," Shaw greeted uncomfortably.

Joss smiled at Shaw's awkward baby talk and grateful to think of something else. She was awful but she was trying which was more than she ever figured. "Please tell me you have dinner?—I'm starving." she admitted as she let Shaw close the door behind her and set her precious treasure on the nearby sofa where she was going to be sleeping now. As long as John was here she was going to be camping out here too.

"You're in luck, I have food." Shaw agreed. "Four Eyes and the hot red-head decided to head out to eat. I think they don't want four of eyes watching your frog prince at the same time. Speaking of him, he's been asleep much of the afternoon."

Joss didn't respond as she took Taylor out of his car seat and held him up as she made funny faces at him and played with him for a few minutes before setting him into his playpen so she could help set the dinner table. Her good manners dictated so even if she wanted to play with her son and check on John. She hid her surprise when Shaw suggested a third setting because Shaw was going to invite John out to the table with them. Shaw disappeared down the hall and into John's room before she reappeared alone.

"He'll be out in a minute," Shaw commented.

Joss wordlessly nodded though kept checking down the hall awaiting John to appear. "Did Harold get John some clothes and things to make him feel a little more like himself?" she asked after a moment.

"He did, unfortunately." Shaw stated which had Joss snorting in response. Oh, she liked John practically naked too but she knew he didn't like it one bit.

The bedroom door down the hall opened and John appeared in her line of sight finally. Harold had gotten John some loose fitting black mesh shorts and an equally loose fitting Nike t-shirt. He looked relaxed, happier that Shaw seemed to have removed one IV and the heart monitor, even though he was looking winded. Joss rushed to his side and supported him down the hall to the kitchen. John gave her a tired smile to let her know he appreciated her help and she felt her heart warm. John might be grouchy about it but he was willing to let her support him. He gingerly sat at the small kitchen table with Joss to his right and Shaw across from him. A steaming bowl of soup sat in front of all three of them. He eyed it, it looked and smelled much better than dry toast from earlier.

Shaw spoke first. "Try it….John. Eat as much as you can. If you need some more medication for the nausea, I can take care of that," she offered.

He realized his mouth was watering…from hunger this time. "No, thanks though, I'm okay."

The women picked up and their spoons and started eating. John picked up his and noticed his hand was shaking like a leaf. He put his spoon in the soup and it rattled against the bowl. He tried lifting the spoon, but by the time it got to his mouth, the soup hand splashed back in the bowl. The second attempt wasn't any better. Joss was watching from the corner of her eye.

"Shaw, I'm putting my soup in a mug so I can just drink it. How about I do the same for you?" Joss asked, as she eyed John's bowl secretively. Men were stubborn and would never admit to needing a little help. She was relieved when Shaw figured out what she was doing and went along with it…for once.

"Yea, sure. John, let Joss put yours in a mug too," Shaw suggested. John silently acquiesced. A minute later a mug was in front of him. The two women sipped their mugs and small talked about dinner. John tried the mug and though his hands still shook, he was able to sip at the soup. It was the best soup he'd ever tasted.

"So, Joss, are you going to share John's bed tonight?" Shaw asked with a smirk. "Being that I'm acting as your doctor, John, no sex, at least, not yet anyway. But when he is cleared for takeoff: get on top Carter, it's more fun that way anyway and it will help him if he isn't doing all the work."

John clunked the mug down with a glare her way. Joss groaned. "Okay, first off; we weren't thinking about sex, Shaw, John is still recovering. I was just going to sleep on the couch so I didn't accidentally injure him while sleeping."

"We can share the bed," John said. He missed having her in his arms at night. Joss looked at him clearly torn. "I promise not to hog it."

Shaw rolled her eyes. But Joss smiled at John. "Well, in that case, I accept," she replied liking the smile she received from John.

John felt as though he finally won a battle since getting shot and went back to drinking his soup. He was surprised when he'd finished the entire mug and was even a little disappointed that there was nothing more substantial in it, like noodles or a meatball.

"Guess what stiff was brought in today?" Shaw murmured earning both their gazes but while John's was speculative Joss's wasn't. She knew just who Shaw was going to say. "Blondie,"

John's eyes widened and shifted onto her. Joss really needed to explain to Shaw what was and what was not good dinner conversation! Talking about a dead woman who was going to be autopsied was not good dinner conversation; especially when it related to a hit woman that had tried to murder John.

"Fusco and I were assigned the case. I was going to tell you about it _after_ dinner." she said with a pointed look at Shaw when she said 'after'. "It was pretty gruesome; looks like she was tortured before she was ultimately killed."

"Any evidence of who did it?"

"Nope, the place was wiped clean." she said with a sigh. "Whoever did it was a pro. Knew what would kill and what wouldn't. Do you think Mark is the type of person to do something like it?"

"It if suited his purposes, yes. But what purpose would there be to torture Martine? Even if he suspected her to know more than what she reported back to him about me he would wait until it was prime opportunity for him. But this wasn't the case. He still doesn't know if she found me or not and if she had what happened to me."

"Maybe that's why he kidnapped her and tortured her to force her to tell him about you." Shaw pointed out. "Plus he could fade out paying her that shit ton of money."

"I think John's right though. Root said that Martine hated the CIA and didn't trust Snow so I can't see her telling him anything even with the threat of death if he kidnapped her to try to torture the information out of her."

"Doesn't mean he didn't try." Shaw replied thoughtfully. "Mark Snow is desperate to find your frog prince to eliminate him. Reese poses a potential risk of his dirty secrets being aired out because he knows about them."

John didn't know what to think at the moment. "Well, the only good I see that comes out of Martine's death is that she went to grave with the knowledge of Joss knowing me. If Mark isn't the one who abducted Martine then he won't know what really happened to her or why, which helps. He's smart enough to know that Martine has accrued all sorts of enemies so her death will cause him some shred of doubt over who did it. Mark will wait and see, and perhaps even put out some feelers with his informants to find out information on her death. But that won't buy us a lot of time because as Shaw said…he's desperate."

Joss refrained from adding that it was also good that Martine went to grave knowing how to find him with Zoe Morgan. So far it seemed Mark Snow didn't realize that angle or he might not even known Miss Morgan. She'd still be his numeral uno in leads in finding John but she'd just be triply careful.

John grew tired so he pushed his chair back and silently stood up, holding on to the table. Shaw just watched while Joss went to his side and helped him make his usual pit stop before crawling back into his bed. Joss left him to go talk to Shaw and play with her son and he fell asleep wishing he was holding her.

* * *

AN: I'm sorry if you found some errors. When I reread this before posting it I changed a few things because I didn't like it, so there will be some problems. Also, I didn't want Martine's disappearance to take up too much time because it just another added layer to the mystery.

Thank you for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

Joss awoke feeling content, and for the first time since John left with the threat of Martine being out there, she slept like a rock being back in his strong loving arms. It seemed Taylor was comforted by John being nearby too because he slept all night himself. Lying here in John's arms sounded like heaven but nature called, and if she didn't get to the bathroom soon she'd embarrass herself. John's hold was firm which was surprising since he was still recuperating from gunshot wounds, and multiple of them which made him weaker than normal. John made a rough sound at her wiggling and tightened his hold further.

"Let go John, I need to use the bathroom," she whispered. He made an indiscernible sound in response but released her and she scooted to her feet. Joss dashed to the bathroom. Minutes later after her bladder was relieved, hands were washed, and teeth were brushed she exited the bathroom. John was still in bed with his eyes closed. He was still hooked up to another IV and knew he was going to ask again to be cut loose. Hopefully Shaw would agree this time.

"C'ere," he rasped sleepily without opening his eyes. Joss remained where she was and he patted the bed invitingly. She tiptoed to the bed, after stopping to check on her little angel in the corner of the room, and then braced her palms on the soft mattress as she bent and placed a little kiss to the corner of his mouth but didn't immediately climb back in it with him.

"I'm happy to sleep with your arms around me again," she said, longing to climb back in but duty called. Joss eyed the way his long dark thick lashes splayed across his cheeks. His hair was longer and covered the tops of his ears and even some dared to fall across his forehead making her fingers itch to smooth it for him.

His eyes opened showering her in blue light. "Well, you could show your gratitude by climbing back in bed with me," he reasoned, voice still rough from sleep.

Joss couldn't help but smile. "Can't, some of us actually have to work for a living," she teased.

John looked past her seeing that it was morning, judging by the diffuse light that was coming in through the curtains. He sure wished he could get some fresh air. Being cooped up in Shaw's apartment was making him want to climb the walls. John carefully moved and felt decidedly less fuzzy and achy which meant Shaw was lessening the drugs and it wasn't affecting him, so he was healing. He felt grimy and could only imagine what he looked and smelled like. How had Joss even managed to lie next to him? He was busting out of here and getting a shower. But he did smell something good and his stomach rumbled. He was relieved to see it was from hunger, not nausea. He took another sweet inhalation. It was coffee, fresh strong black liquid gold. And something else…oh god, it had to be Shaw torturing him with pancakes!

"You smell breakfast and coffee too, eh?" she murmured. "I'll go con Shaw into giving us some."

"Please," he was close to begging. Joss nodded and bent to kiss him before disappearing from view. John tried to sit up and found himself caught up in the IV tubing. He irritably struggled to untangle himself. He thought about pulling the needle out of his arm, but he conceded that Shaw had been reasonable about discontinuing the first IV and the monitor. He finally was able to sit up and swing his legs over the bed and he was pleasantly surprised that the room didn't spin as much as the night before. At least it was a small victory.

Joss came back with a decidedly big smile on her face. "Good news, breakfast is served for all of us. You're being allowed a small amount of coffee. Shaw even warmed up Taylor's bottle for me. I wonder what she wants from me." Joss wondered aloud before moving over to Taylor and picked him up out of the portable playpen.

"I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to head to the bathroom." he said.

"I can help…"

"No, I can do it myself." John stated firmly. Joss thinned her lips as she settled Taylor in her arms and was picking up his diaper bag.

"Okay," she acquiesced. "I'll change Taylor and if you need me just call." Joss offered as casually as she could muster. John knew she wanted to argue with him.

He slowly stood up, shuffled to the nearest wall feeling her eyes on him the entire time and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. The damn IV fluids were running right through him. John did his main purpose of the trip to bathroom. For the first time, he looked in the mirror and almost scared himself. His hair was pointing in every direction, his eyes had dark circles under them. John thought that Harold had brought his shaving kit and a toothbrush for him. He sagged in relief as he looked around the bathroom and found a small little bag with his necessities in it. Thank god, Finch. John greedily brushed his teeth and applied some deodorant which made him feel, at least, presentable.

John heard a knock on the door. "John, you okay?" Joss asked sounding hesitant as though she was having an internal war over whether or not she should be asking. He knew she was trying to let him having some independence as he recovered.

"I'm fine," he answered opening the door.

She stepped back. "Do you want to come into the kitchen? Did you need my arm?" she offered as she moved close.

John rubbed a finger over Taylor's chubby cheek and smiled as he spoke; "Kitchen sounds good. I can do it on my own." He set his hand on the wall for balance and slowly walked ahead with Joss a step behind him. They slowly entered the kitchen.

Shaw was already done stuffing her face and was gathering up her things clearly running late. She stopped to look at Joss and gave her a pointed glare before disappearing out the door. John didn't know what that meant and didn't care because he was going to be given some much needed coffee. He lowered himself into a chair gingerly while she put Taylor into the car seat and put him near John on the table. John appreciated it so he could let Taylor grab his finger with his fists.

Joss poured him a small cup of coffee and set it front of him. John frowned at the half-filled cup of coffee and decided to be happy he was even allowed it. He sipped the potent but fresh brew. He closed his eyes and grunted in ecstasy.

"How about some breakfast too?" she asked gently, sipping her own coffee to hide the smile at how extremely happy he was over something so simple as coffee.

"Dry toast?" he asked, smelling pancakes that Shaw had made for her and Joss.

"A pancake." Joss admitted.

John couldn't believe his luck. Not only was he getting coffee but also something better than toast! "Pancake?—you meant pancakes with a 's' right?" he corrected.

"No, I meant pancake, as in one, and a small pancake at that. Shaw wanted dry toast again but I convinced her otherwise by agreeing to buy her another steak dinner," Joss explained.

"I'll treat her to the steak if it means I get more actual food," he offered.

She snorted. "Don't tell her that! You'll be buying her a steak dinner forever if she thinks she can squeeze it out of you for her help," she informed him.

"She's what?—a hundred pounds, how many steaks can she eat?" he wondered out loud.

"You'd be surprised to learn how much that woman eats!"

Joss came back to the table with a silver dollar sized pancake. He moaned at its small size but he knew to be happy with whatever he got. She put it in front of him and pulled syrup out of the microwave and drizzled a minuscule amount on top of the lonely pancake. He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. She harrumphed at him and added a teeny bit more and then a little bit more when he actually pouted at her.

"Stop it with that face because I swear, if you throw this up Shaw will kill you and me both," Joss said, though she didn't sound too worried.

"Then I'll die a happy man," he said as he took a small bite and moaned. He thought he could eat a stack full, but after he ate his one and drank his small cup of coffee, he knew it would be safer not to try for more.

Joss ate her breakfast and they renewed their trivia quiz which she had missed. They both fussed and played with Taylor together. Joss knew she was going to be late to work but it was worth it because this morning was the best one since John was shot and even before that when he left because of Martine. She didn't want the morning to end. He excused himself and slowly made his way back to bed. Joss watched him, a worried look on her face because he was turning a not so good green color. Maybe Shaw was right and the pancake with syrup was too soon.

"Are you okay, John?" she asked as she adorably chewed her lower lip. He just nodded his head as he crawled into the bed his stomach churning. She pulled the blanket up to cover him.

"I'm okay. I'm just going to lay down for a while," he mumbled. He soon was asleep; just in time too because Grace and Harold appeared ready to take their shift to watch over him as he recuperated. Joss got ready for work and then got Taylor ready, and headed out trying to not worry about John. 

* * *

Shaw and Joss came home from work, both at the same time, only Joss had her son in tow. Harold and Grace left with the promise of being back the next day to visit him. They were careful to not say 'take care of' because John didn't want to be a burden on anyone. He did have his pride after all.

But tonight was going to be different because instead of just letting Shaw and Joss dictate to him, John was going to exercise independence and demand a much needed shower. Being at the mercy of others wasn't something he was used to, and while they were only trying to help him recover, he needed to regain some control. This must be how Joss felt while she was pregnant and he was barking orders at her. He was biding his time patiently waiting for Shaw to get him off the last IV, which was going to be soon whether or not she agreed.

John sat himself at the kitchen table while Joss fixed BLT sandwiches for herself and Shaw. Shaw had willingly let Joss make dinner tonight because she wanted a shower. Joss saw his interest in what she was making. "Don't even think about it, mister. One pancake had you turning your nasty shade of green that I've seen before," she warned him.

"But, Joss…." he started but didn't get to finish.

"No 'buts,' left over soup from last night for you." she stated brusquely, not about to let him persuade her otherwise. She wasn't going to let those damn eyes get to her either. Joss almost laughed at his reaction. She softened her announcement by adding, "I've added a couple meatballs and noodles to your mug to give it some substance. Okay? Just give your body a little more time and you'll be eating whatever your heart desires." He seemed placated and sat, watching her as she cooked. He seemed pretty mellow actually. Maybe he was willing to open up a bit. "Tell me something-anything," she requested softly.

He could pretend ignorance but it wouldn't work. He knew what Joss wanted. She wanted him to open up a little. Talking about his past wasn't something he enjoyed doing but, for this woman, he'd try. "I grew up in the state of Washington," he stated gruffly.

Joss paused in her cooking to look at him. "Now it makes sense why you're a Seahawks fan," she commented dryly. A smile tugged up on his lips as he relaxed. "I bet you were a little rebel with a cause."

He shrugged. "Actually, I was. I didn't like kids bullying others, especially ones smaller and weaker than them so I stepped in," he admitted.

"You were a bully stopper. Not surprising," she commented with a little laugh turning to continue cooking. "I was student council president."

"And prom queen," he added.

She snorted. "God no!—I had friends and played for the school's basketball team but I was a nobody in school. I didn't even go to the prom because no one asked me." she admitted.

John frowned. "You didn't go to prom?"

"Nope, did you?"

"I did." he admitted. He had gone to prom with a girl who was bullied about her looks. No one was going to ask her so he did.

"Let me guess; girls asked you out but you went to prom with a girl who no one liked," she murmured. She turned to look at John and smirked at his look of surprise. "Call it a gut feeling, John," she said in explanation. Joss decided it was time to shift to the present because she didn't want to focus too much on the past. John opened up which made her happy but she didn't want him to start feeling uncomfortable. So she switched topics. "If you want to do something you can help set the table," she offered.

Grateful to have something to do he did his job after Joss showed him where the silverware, plates, and mugs were.

Nearly ten minutes later Shaw came tearing out of her room like a mini tornado. She dropped the towel she was using to dry her hair on the floor clearly manners went out the window when food was being prepared. "Dinner done yet?—I'm starving here!" Shaw demanded.

"It'll be done in a couple minutes, why not pass time with your new hobby: annoying John?" Joss suggested and earned a decidedly grumpy look from him. Joss hid a smile.

Shaw, only happy to please, turned to look at John and gave him accessing look. "Look who decided to rejoin the living. Color is okay, not great, but okay. I assume little or no nausea or you wouldn't be sitting at this table waiting for dinner. The bacon smells good, doesn't it?" Shaw patted John's arm, who was trying to ignore her. "Oh, that's right, no bacon for you. Too bad, so sad!" Shaw snickered. She became a little, very little, more serious. "Actually, John_, _you're doing pretty good. Better than I thought you would. You keep yourself in great shape. That helps." He eyed her suspiciously wondering why she was trying to fatten him up with a compliment and pulled away when she reached to touch his forehead. "Hey, I'm just checking for a fever. Of course, I can find a thermometer somewhere, but it may not be for oral use," she threatened.

"Assuming I don't take it from you and jam it somewhere," he grumbled.

Shaw grinned but didn't respond because Joss cleared her throat loudly to keep them in check. "I'll take a look at the wounds after we eat. If they look good, I'll take the other IV out. But you'll need to take these four times a day for the next ten days," she said, before walking away and coming back carrying a container full of pills. "They're antibiotics, so be sure to take them for a full ten days. And you'll take pain meds for the next little while," she continued.

"No.' he refuted.

"Excuse me?! No one says 'no' to me. I don't care how big you are," she spit out, brown eyes blazing with fiery anger.

"Well, I said 'no.' I've been shot before. I can handle the pain. No…pain…meds," he spit back, not backing down on this. He knew his threshold for pain was high and wasn't taking anything for the pain that still lingered.

"One pill every four hours," Shaw bartered seeing a worthy opponent.

"No pills every four hours." John countered.

Joss looked back and forth like it was a sporting match and only wished she had snacks to go with it. John was stubborn and proud. Shaw was about as stubborn and had an attitude that was bigger than she was. So this was going to be interesting to see who would come out on top of the clash of their wills.

"One every six," Shaw tried again. When she was met with silence, she growled; "One every eight and that's my best offer."

"One at night," he compromised.

"One pill, twice a day…final offer John." Shaw snapped, kind of having fun though she would never admit it.

"Deal." John agreed, feeling as though he cooperated since he didn't want to take any pain meds.

"No cheating by spitting them out." Shaw stipulated hurriedly. She wasn't born yesterday and knew all the tricks.

"Scouts honor," he held up two fingers.

"Cub scouts use two fingers, Boy Scouts use three fingers. Please tell me you made it to Boy Scouts." Shaw sneered. He held up a finger alright but it was only one and it let her know he thought she was number one. She grinned. "Let's eat," Shaw said, rubbing her hands together. Joss simply shook her head with a smirk on her face as she eyed them.

Forty five minutes later Shaw had John lying on his bed as she took each dressing off and examined each wound, poking and prodding. She finally stepped back. "They look good. I'll take that IV out now." Shaw announced.

Joss felt relieved. She watched Shaw remove the IV and John was being his usual quiet self. John grinned as the last IV was removed. "Now since I compromised on taking pain medicine, I think you two should let me have something I want," he announced.

Shaw looked immediately suspicious. "I like how you said 'compromised' when I basically had to bargain my home away into forcing those pills down your throat!" Shaw replied crossly.

"What is it that you want, John? If it's within reason I'm sure Shaw will agree with it," Joss said trying to appease John.

"I want a damned shower!" John said.

Shaw shrugged. "That's it?—fine by me. You're good enough to go and Carter can always accompany you and wash your back…and whatever else she so chooses," she said with a wolfish smile. "Towels are in the vanity under the sink. Have fun, you two."

Joss watched as Shaw exited, much as she did everything, loudly. She shifted her eyes to watch John who looked pleased and exhausted at the same time. "Well, you did one up Shaw which not many people can do. Not that many take the time to get to know her because her personality disorder makes her kind of a jerk."

"Shaw isn't bad once you get used to her. Once you get past all that sass she's got a wicked humor and loyal, I see why you would befriend her," he told her softly. "Now, can you please help me into the shower?—it's beginning to be a dire situation." he pleaded changing the subject.

Joss nodded. "Unfortunately, we can't have a repeat of what happened during our last shower excursion," she said with a pout. John's look said differently. "Oh hell no, it isn't happening John no matter if your body thinks otherwise!" This time it was his turn to pout. "Don't worry, when you're feeling better I'll be on you without a second thought."

"I can be on top," he commented dryly as he let her help him stand.

Joss smirked. "Doctor's orders say I'm on top for the time being, and I will make sure you won't have any complaints." she assured as she helped him towards the bathroom letting him lean on her for support. He was gaining more and more strength. Joss started the shower letting John get a head start on trying to undress before she turned to find he had managed to remove his shirt though he was a little winded. "Need some help?" she inquired as she stepped in front of him her fingers dipping into the waistband of his shorts and underwear. He gave her a sheepish look. Joss didn't say a word as she helped draw them down leaving him naked as the day he was born. John's body was impressive. All muscle, no ounce of fat from his relentless exercise that kept him in shape. His cock was as impressive as the rest of his body as it hung, drawing her gaze, compelling her to want to wrap her hand around him, and bring him pleasure.

"Stop staring," he grumbled.

Joss lifted her adoring gaze up and off the male organ that had brought her much pleasure to eye his various healing wounds and up to his eyes. "You'd stare too if our roles were reversed." she muttered in defense. She was only human!

"True," he agreed which made her feel better for ogling him.

Joss helped him into the shower and he groaned in delight. She smiled as she was all but forgotten as he merely stood under the warm spray. No doubt, he was going to enjoy his shower and grow fatigued thanks to standing so long but she knew he'd feel it was worth it. Maybe he shouldn't go home until tomorrow when he was rested. She'd run it by him after he was all tuckered out from his shower. Joss let him have some privacy but kept watch as she kept going in to check on him before checking on Shaw, who was talking to her son as if he could talk back.

Joss reentered the bathroom and steam filled the room and she opened the glass door to check up on him. He was leaning his hands against the tiled wall. She frowned. "You good?" she called out.

"Been better, but the shower feels so good I want to stay longer." he admitted. Joss didn't respond as she shut the door and proceeded to remove her clothing before climbing into the shower with him. He stiffened a bit as he felt her naked breasts against his back. "Joss, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Hush, I'm helping." she ordered gently as she reached around him and grabbed his soap. "Did you shampoo your hair?"

"Yes."

Joss nodded as she squeezed out a healthy amount of soap that was unscented. She proceeded to run her hands all over his body. He wasn't immune to her touch if the erection was any indication, though then neither was she. But she kept reminding herself he was still healing and wasn't ready for sex.

"Joss," he said voice heavy with desire.

"Down boy, this is just a shower." she said, though happy he was feeling more himself. Before he left because of Martine and was shot they were just beginning to enjoy the more physical side of their connection. The wait to have their bodies joined again was going to be long and difficult.

John groaned. "Then stop because pretty soon we're going to be seeing if I have any of my strength back yet."

After another good five minutes she reached around him and shut the water off. She was grateful his big body blocked most of the water so it didn't hit too much of her hair but she'd just pull it into a ponytail for work. She climbed out of the shower first and grabbed the big terrycloth towel. Although she wasn't sure if she would need a towel with the way John's scorching hot gaze trailed over her naked body. Joss forced herself to quickly dry off before drawing her clothes back on. The disgruntled look on John's face made her feel good.

John climbed out of the shower himself but didn't resist her help when she helped dry him off and draw his underwear up telling the real story, that while he wasn't willing to admit it verbally, he was beginning to tire out.

"You've been on your feet for a while now. I think you should rest for a while." she murmured as she steered him towards the spare bedroom.

He didn't even attempt to fight her from helping him into bed and the moment his head hit the pillows he was asleep, not surprising her in the least. John's strength levels were in the dumpster as he recovered from multiple gunshots. This was the first day he was on his feet a while and ate some sort of solid foods.

"Dream of me," she whispered as she bent down to press her lips to John's cheek and with that turned to go talk to Shaw and play with her son.

* * *

AN: I needed to have a heavy Carter/Reese interaction because John is finally starting to feel better and he had to suffer through needing Shaw's help for a while.

Thank you for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

The next few days went much the same way. Joss would leave for work in the morning and Harold along with Grace would come to sit with John to keep him company. Shaw had a later shift which meant she was there so the four of them got to know each other a little better. Harold and Grace both had easy going personalities which was a distinct contrast to Shaw's but worked. Shaw took pleasure in telling John what to do still as he steadily healed up though the exhaustion clung to him and he still moved slowly due to his hip hurting. But for a guy being shot two times he was doing relatively well. When Joss got off work she'd pick up her son from her mama or her neighbor and head to Shaw's. Yesterday had been the first time Harold and Grace decided to stay for dinner.

But today she had the day off which worked for Harold and Grace as they had prior commitments to attend to. Joss awoke early leaving John and Taylor in the spare room to go make coffee and grab a giant piece of the delicious coffee cake that Grace and Harold brought over yesterday. It seemed the cute little couple had already pegged Shaw as a foodie and brought decadent little treats along with them all the time. The other day they brought fudge that truly was like an orgasm for the mouth. Thankfully, there was some left of the coffee cake since she was going to sneak some to John. Shaw had an evening shift so she needed to be quiet.

Joss poured two cups of coffee, one for herself and one for John, before adding a dash of milk in both and picked up the plate with the piece of coffee cake on it and turned to tie-toe hurriedly back to the spare room. She entered the bedroom and set both cups down on the nightstand as she grinned at John who was on his back asleep. Joss quickly snuck a peek at her perfect angel sleeping in the playpen before she climbed back into bed and snuggled up against John being very careful to not hit any of his numerous healing wounds.

"John, wake up, I've got a surprise for you." she said softly as she bent and kissed his lips.

He made a sound. "If it's not you naked then I don't want it," he mumbled sleepily.

Joss chuckled. "It's not me naked but…" she said in a sing-song way as she grabbed the plate near her and put it near his face. "…it's better."

John cracked open an eye to peer at the coffee cake and then her. "Food is not better than you," he replied, voice low. Joss felt warm pleasure bloom inside her at the compliment.

"Okay, maybe not better but it's good too," she said as she moved the plate to entice him.

He eyed the coffee cake again. "Am I being allowed to have it?—Shaw won't materialize out of nowhere and take it from me like some food hound."

"Shaw is sound asleep even a bomb going off wouldn't wake her. And while she is a foodie she is just trying to make sure you are on the road to recovery," she reassured. John slowly sat up grimacing and Joss tried to help him. After he sat in a halfway comfortable position she set the plate on his lap when Taylor let out a wail. "But Taylor isn't." Joss commented amusedly as she pushed the comforter off and hurried over to her son.

Joss made funny faces at him as she picked her son up and moved over to the foot of the bed. It didn't take long to have Taylor in a fresh diaper. "I should go get his bottle."

"Here," John offered as he set the uneaten coffee cake on the nightstand next to him and motioned for Taylor. "Go get his bottle so we all can have breakfast together."

She nibbled her lip and decided John was strong enough to hold Taylor. Joss transferred Taylor into John's arms and Taylor immediately smiled up at him. John himself seemed contented too. Dashing out to Shaw's kitchen was a mistake however because Shaw walked like a zombie towards the pot of coffee she brewed.

"Did I wake you?" Joss asked quietly, quickly grabbing Taylor's bottle and set it in the microwave to heat up to the way he liked it.

"Nrgh," Shaw sounded.

Joss didn't really know if that was a yes or a no but decided to not say anything. Shaw staggered over to the coffee cake and immediately grew alert. "Someone took a piece…."

"I did."

Shaw eyed her and then the coffee cake and then back at her. "The piece is pretty large. Are you sure it's for you or for your frog prince?" she demanded.

"Only you would know how much of the coffee cake was left," Joss muttered as she reached into the microwave after it beeped. "Yes, it's for me and John. He's feeling better."

"But he nearly barfed up a pancake the other day. Wasting coffee cake in my home is a cardinal sin, Carter!" Shaw stated as she took a healthy gulp of her black coffee.

Joss rolled her eyes. "I know. And like I said he's feeling better so it will be fine. He's a hungry man, Shaw, and besides we're going to share it before you hoof all the coffee cake down! Now, I'm going to have breakfast in bed with the man I love and my son." she murmured, praying Shaw would understand that she was not invited, her home or not.

Shaw cut into the coffee cake with a shrug. "Fine by me, I smelled coffee and wanted some. I'm going to hit the gym. If your frog prince is feeling better than maybe I'll stop to get us some grilled salmon fillets for lunch. He needs some protein and we'll make him get some exercise to build up a little strength back."

Joss nodded before she left her small friend near the fridge and counter scarfing down food like she never ate before. She didn't bother to tiptoe this time as she walked in watching John playing with Taylor.

He looked up. "Let me guess: Shaw's up because she smelled the food you brought me," he wondered, sounding grumpy even though the smile was on his face for Taylor.

"Shaw is up but not to take your food away." she said as she climbed onto the bed and Taylor made a happy noise as he saw her.

John took the bottle from her and promptly fed Taylor. Joss reached over them to grab the plate and fed John some before taking a big bite herself. Joss leaned back while watching John and her son. This was perfect. And she would fight Snow, any more assassins Snow thought could kill John, and the entire world if she had too to keep it.

* * *

"I want to go home." John pouted as he sat on the recliner in the living room, later that evening, with Taylor on his lap playing with a little blue elephant that lit up and made sounds. He was exhausted but in a good way. With both Joss and Shaw off of work, well Shaw until later tonight, they were home much of the day and Shaw let him move around much more. She gave him easy exercises to do to regain a little strength back. His hip hurt like a bitch but it felt good to move around again. Although with the extra movements came the exhaustion. Gunshots sucked he reminded himself.

And not unexpectedly both Joss and Shaw opened their mouths to argue but he spoke again first; "Why not?—everything I'm doing here I can be doing at home without taking up Shaw's space. And, Shaw, you even said that I was doing better than you'd thought I would. I've been off the last IV now for a little while without any setbacks."

Shaw's dark gaze narrowed. "Using my words against me, eh? Well, how the hell are we supposed to trust you to take your pain meds when we're not there to make sure?" Shaw demanded. "I've been watching you to make sure you are taking them and not reneging on our deal."

John met her gaze directly. "Shaw, I already gave my word I'll take them so I'll be taking them," he promised grudgingly. "And I'd like to be in my own space again."

"Maybe I can come stay with you for a while," Joss suggested. "It's not so different from staying here or at your place. Taylor's a baby and won't know the difference."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Joss. I think it's best if I head back to my place and you stay at yours, at least, for the time being."

"And why is that?" she demanded. And Shaw immediately perked up as she sensed a fight coming.

"Because of Mark," he answered instantly. Both Joss and Shaw snorted. But he wanted them to understand his reasoning. "If Snow wasn't behind Martine's death than he has to know about it by now. Mark is shrewd and paranoid, Joss, there's a reason why he's gotten away with things this long. Finding out Martine is dead he might think I had something to do with it and Snow will once again think you're a means to find me since he gave her your name, and if you don't show up at home like usual then he's going to get even more suspicious. Staying here as long as you have might have already made him suspicious and I can't risk your life or Taylor's."

She opened her mouth to argue his point but couldn't. What John said made a lot of sense even if she didn't like it. Mark would stake her out again thinking she was a lead on his whereabouts. They still didn't know who killed Martine and if Snow didn't than surely John would be a suspect in Mark's head because he hired her to find John.

Shaw elbowed her. "Say something," Shaw growled.

Joss glared darkly at Shaw. "Don't you have any food you want to go stuff down your face?" she asked. Shaw let out a dramatic sigh as she stood up, glaring at John before stomping off to the kitchen. Joss refocused her attention on John. "Okay, I'll go home to my place," she agreed slowly.

"I hear a 'but' coming,"John commented warily.

"But you're coming with me to stay awhile."

He cleared his throat. "What, like live together?" he asked as he shifted Taylor a little.

"Kind of, I know that once you feel well enough you're going to go into hiding and won't let me come see you for the same reason you left in the first place almost four months ago. I'm not going through that again," Joss replied. John opened his mouth to speak but before he could she pressed a finger to his lips to shush him. "Before you tell me that you gave me your word that you wouldn't leave the apartment Finch got you, you gave me that before you were shot by a hired gunman which changes things to you."

He reached up to gently remove her finger from his lips. "Define a while," he inquired quietly.

"Stay until this whole thing is over and then after that we see how things go. No pressure, you asked for slow, and this is me giving you as slow as I can go. I won't apologize for pushing you though. We're both middle aged adults and both been in love before. This connection, this love, we share is different from those past loves though because this is forever. It's time for you and me to make better decisions. I have a habit of trusting only myself and you have a habit of under valuing your life. Well, let's make new habits together starting right now."

She tacked on after a few minutes of silence; "Otherwise, I'm coming to stay with you and I'll just have Finch help me make up a lie that would placate Snow if he should come by my place to find it empty. Maybe I went on vacation with my son or my place is being fumigated, and to hell with if Mark Snow believes it or not."

John sat holding her son and eyed her needing to figure out what to do. Joss said what she meant. So she meant every word. Staying with her at her place was risky because Joss clearly had a clear path planned for their future, and he wasn't sure that he wouldn't fuck up somewhere. Being open was hard and there was a lot about his self that he kept from Joss. He glanced at her and she was waiting for his answer. Should he do what he always did or do something he was afraid of?

"Okay," he agreed hesitantly, making up his mind. Joss cocked her head to the side and eyed him patiently. "I'll come stay with you. But the curtains have to remain closed at all times so no one sees someone extra in your house. And I want your place looked over for any wiretaps and hidden cameras that Snow might have placed while you've been gone before I step foot inside. If he was suspicious he might have your placed covered to find out information."

Joss grinned widely as she nodded her head yes emphatically. She'd do anything he wanted to make him comfortable to come stay with her. Hell, she'd replace her windows with bulletproof glass at this point if it meant he'd come stay with her. John was trying to push past his fears and insecurities for her and it meant everything. Joss leaned over to press her lips against his in a quick but lovingly kiss. She pulled back and he couldn't help but smile back at her.

She looked down at Taylor who wanted her and she took her son into her arms and cuddled him close. "Did you hear that Taylor?—John's coming home with us." she cooed at her son though took a quick look at John seeing the pensive look on his face. He'd be fine once he stayed with her for a while.

Shaw reappeared with a sandwich in hand and a scowl on her pretty face. "Can I enter my own living room?" she asked dryly. Joss nodded as she motioned for her to join them. Shaw stomped to the sofa chair. "So…what's the verdict?"

"John agreed to come home with me. After I make sure my place is clear of any problems I'll call Finch since he has a car company he uses to send a car to come pick you up and have him drop you off at my place down the backstreets. Since you're worried about Mark it would be better if you come in the back entrance during the night." Joss murmured as she fussed with her son. John eyed her, impressed and a little turned on at how stealthy she was being.

Shaw nodded in understanding as she took another big bite of her sandwich. "Sounds good, that gives me a little more time bullying John." she commented. John rolled his eyes. "Just remember to take your meds. And Carter: when he's able to do it again without falling asleep you need to be on top. It's the best position because you're in charge and keeps him from blowing it too quickly but also it keeps the pressure off his hip." she said with a wolfish grin as she polished off what was left of her sandwich.

John looked to Shaw angry, not used to meeting someone so brazen that she insinuated herself into his sex life, where she didn't belong. His private life was _his_ private life and Shaw seemed to thoroughly relish in making comments that made him uncomfortable. Joss seemed to ignore her comments. But he had no intentions of doing so. If his private life was fair game than so was hers.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me, Shaw, your medical skills are extraordinary. And I'm sure you'll be happy getting back to your life now." he said sincerely though with a hint of mischief residing in his twinkling blue eyes. Joss noticed his eyes and then glanced to Shaw who practically preened at his words soaking in the compliments. "Now you get to focus on your impending dates with your girlfriend, Root."

"She's not my girlfriend," Shaw barked, her smile turned into a full blown scowl.

"You sure seemed to be preoccupied with her the other night when she was over. You couldn't tear your eyes away," John commented. Joss swallowed a smile. Oh John was good.

"I-I…was Root even here, I didn't notice the nerd?!" Shaw snarled, looking flustered for the first time. "We're just going to dinner as friends."

"Oh. Well I wouldn't worry, Shaw, I'm sure there are other ladies out there that might like your _charm_. Sometimes love is unrequited. Maybe Root's not into brunettes and is more along the 'blonds have more fun,'" he murmured compassionately, purposely mistaking what she meant. Joss coughed, trying very hard to keep from laughing. John's wicked streak was a mile long.

"She's into me, not the other way around! Root wanted the dates with me as payment!" Shaw stated, sounding frazzled for the first time ever since Joss knew the woman. It was actually quite interesting to see Shaw in such a state. John was evil when he put his mind to it and Joss couldn't help but watch.

"Are you sure it's not because Root suspects your feelings and is asking you out because she's a charitable woman?" John asked with all the innocence in the world. Joss's eyes bugged out as he basically made Shaw out to be just a charity pity date and looked to Shaw who had murder clearly written on her face.

Shaw hopped to her feet anger blazing in her eyes. "Goodbye and good riddance. Carter, the next time he gets shot and needs some awesome doctor to save his sorry ass go take him to someone else who will fuck up and let him croak!" she stated as she whirled around and stormed out of the room, cussing the entire time.

Joss chuckled as she looked at him seeing he was very pleased with himself. "You do know she's going to realize you said all that just to piss her off. You started a war you'll never finish," she teased.

"Shaw's okay, I enjoy our verbal sparring matches. But I don't intend to let her get her way and our sex life is private which she just learned the hard way."

"You might enjoy your verbal battle with Shaw but not as much as you enjoy our trivia quizzes right?" she asked.

He reached up and ran a hand over her cheek gently. "I enjoy everything about you," he whispered as he pulled her close so he could kiss her. Joss eagerly kissed him back grateful he was finally beginning to feel more himself.

She pulled back. "I guess I should go call Finch," she murmured.

"Call him later," he suggested as he pulled her up against his good side and Joss snuggled Taylor between them and enjoyed being in his arms.

* * *

AN: Shaw knows how far she can push things with Carter due to their friendship. But Shaw needed to learn that John gives as good as he gets ;D

Thank you for reading!

P.S. I have an update for Careese Themes coming today sometime too!


	18. Chapter 18

"Thanks for keeping me in the loop," Fusco commented as he sipped his coffee and lifted his binoculars up to watch Mark Snow. Although he wasn't anticipating a six hour stakeout which was about as exciting as watching paint dry. Not to mention Donnelly wasn't exactly a standup comedian and enjoyed country music while he was more a rock fan.

Donnelly nodded as he stared out the window. "No problem, Fusco. You were the one that gave me the information on Snow and I wanted to repay you," he said before tearing his gaze away from their target and eyed him. "But this is my case so you do as I say."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Fusco joked and when Donnelly didn't crack a smile, Fusco sighed. "Yes sir," he answered dourly and Donnelly nodded before looking out the window again. If you looked up boring in the dictionary you'd find Agent Donnelly's photo for sure. Carter so owed him for this!

Nothing happened and when Snow left his place they followed a good distance back so the man wouldn't realize he was being followed. Fusco knew all about the mysterious Root that Carter hired to find out anything on Snow which was how they got this information he handed over to Donnelly. He had to keep tabs on that aspect, he didn't want Donnelly knowing about Root because then things could get dicey, especially about the big guy Carter was trying to protect.

Donnelly frowned and Fusco noticed. "What's wrong, Donnelly?"

"Are we driving in circles?" he questioned after a small pause.

Fusco glanced out his window and noted that they drove past the same diner now twice. "Seems like it."

"I think Snow's onto us or he's extremely paranoid," Donnelly commented as he sped up to catch up to Snow's car.

"I mean he is selling American secrets to the Chinese so he has to have a level of paranoia of being figured out at any moment," Fusco reasoned.

Donnelly fell silent as he sped up to try to keep up with the turns and swift change of lanes Mark made before they were caught by a light that he sped through and traffic began moving on the other side making Donnelly slam on his brakes. He smacked the steering wheel in frustration.

"I guess we need to regroup," Fusco muttered, as Snow's car was gone and they had no clue where he went.

Donnelly let out a lengthy sigh. "I wanted to see what he was up to before tipping our hand with the search warrant of his work computers. But with him giving us the slip Mark Snow is either really paranoid or he's under the assumption he's being watched. He's slippery and no doubt has money elsewhere so he can run. We'll need to do this the right way so this man doesn't escape our clutches," he said. "But I think it's time to put in for those search warrants with the information you received from your anonymous source."

"I think so too. We need to get him off the street soon."

"Yea, because the types of secrets he's selling to the Chinese puts every American at risk," Donnelly said angrily. Foiled again!

* * *

Mark looked in his rearview mirror, feeling better that he sped through the light. He didn't believe he had any tails but it always paid to be careful. He hadn't gotten away with his crimes by being stupid. But, of course, John had to be a good investigator and ruin everything. He would have been better suited for the lowly FBI but no, Beale, saw that he had no family and excelled at hand to hand combat and had a high proficiency with weapons. But the sooner John reached a bitter end the better. Martine was tortured and killed which begged the question of why. Did she find John and he won the round between the two? Or did her past catch up with her? And if she did find John did that mean Joss Carter truly was the link to find John as he originally suspected? But, unfortunately, dead women didn't speak and he didn't know if Martine had found John using Carter or through another link that she hadn't told him about. Martine was notoriously secretive because of her motto: don't trust anyone.

He slowed his pace as he approached the Culver Viaduct where his contact wanted to meet. It was out of the blue and urgent. Something spooked him and Mark needed to reassure him that he'd receive his information as long as the money transfers kept clearing. Mark pulled to a stop and climbed out of the car and looked around trying to see his short friend.

"Mark…"

Snow turned around at the voice he recognized and stared before he smiled frigidly. "Kara, I should have known you'd survive too," he muttered in response as he stared at the brunette before him. Kara didn't immediately respond. He didn't bother feeling surprised because if John survived than Kara could have too. "So, that urgent text from my Chinese contact was from you."

She shrugged. "I suggest you find a new contact," she answered dryly. Kara had extreme fun torturing and taking her pent up frustrations on the man before ultimately taking his life. It felt good to be in control again after months of having none. And it felt extremely good to know she was seconds away from getting her revenge on the man that ruined her life.

Mark sighed. If there was one thing about Kara Stanton it was she thoroughly enjoyed torturing information from men. Women less so because she liked the power trip she received when she made men that were physically bigger than her cry and beg for mercy.

"But then again you won't need to worry about selling secrets to the Chinese any longer, Mark," she added as she drew her weapon out and aimed it at him. "Those days are now over."

Mark didn't bat an eye. "It doesn't have to be this way, Kara. We shared a lot of good times together. You knew who I was when you climbed in my bed."

Kara gave him a chilly smile. "You weren't my first choice, John was," she admitted and her chilly smile grew warmer as she noticed the look on his face. Ah, someone didn't like being compared to Reese only to not measure up. She found a weakness to exploit and she attacked it. "I tried many times to entice John into making our partnership with more benefits but he showed zero interest in becoming my bed partner. He was hung up on his boring ex-girlfriend. Now you, you were only happy to fill that role for me. For a long while during our trysts I wondered how much better John would have been in the sack with that untamed raw sexuality he exuded but you got the job done…most of the time," Kara said twisting the blade knowing just how much he hated John and being considered beneath him. Mark's eyes boiled with rage and Kara snickered. Had she known about his blind envy of Reese years ago she would have used that to her advantage and pit the two men against each other. It would have been fun watching the Boy Scout having to kill more and more. "But I must admit that I did develop foolish feelings for you that clouded my judgment but I'll never let that happen again. You took my life from me and I'm going to make you wish you hadn't."

"I taught you and John everything."

"Perhaps, but sometimes the pupil surpasses the teacher." Kara replied conversationally. "I mean I've been watching you for a while now and just biding my time for the right moment to come back from the dead. It's hilarious how inept you are at finding John."

"Do you know where he is?"

Kara laughed humorlessly. "No, but then I haven't been trying to locate him. You were so desperate that you hired Martine to find him for you. Do you not remember Beale screwing her over because he had a new shiny toy in Reese to play with?"

"Yes, yes, I remember. Beale retired her himself." Mark growled. He had debated about telling Martine about being retired for John to take her place but ultimately chose not to because he had been concerned about Martine's blood lust. Martine would have toyed with John rather than just eliminate him and John's demise was essential to Mark's happiness.

"Yea, well, she held a grudge against you too. Martine was going to find and kill John and when she was going to get the rest of her payout…blow your brains out."

How could Kara possibly know that…unless she was the one that had murdered Martine? Mark said, "I suppose you were the one that tortured and killed Martine then. You two never did see eye to eye."

"We settled our old score." Kara agreed. It had been nice carving out that blond bitch before putting her six feet under. But it seemed that Mark didn't know about Martine being taken by the elusive hacker turned P.I. known only to most as Root. And she had a feeling she knew why. Kara grinned, having found a thread to find Reese. She really wanted to see him again.

"Kara, how about instead of going to war we fight together? We find Reese and end him for being the pain in our asses."

She sneered in response. "I'll pass, Mark." came her short reply.

It wasn't unexpected. So he tried one last ditch effort as he offered, "I've made millions, I'll cut you a check and you can live your life out in luxury. I'm sure you haven't had the easiest last several months." His fingers itchy to grab his gun. Perhaps he could shift Kara's motivation onto money.

Kara arched a brow unimpressed. "Haven't you heard?—money doesn't buy you happiness, Mark."

"And what will make you happy?" Mark asked, biding his time.

"Your head on a stick!" she snarled.

Mark dove just as she shot at him. Kara was still as predictable as ever. He rolled and grabbed his gun firing back at Kara, making her hide behind the concrete pillar she was near for cover. He scrambled to his feet and hopped into his car. Mark ducked as the back window was blown out and the bullet lodged in his passenger seat just as he put it into drive. He heard another hit his car as he sped away. He looked in the rearview mirror as he sped away and saw her aiming his way before she began a distant figure. That getaway was a little too easy which meant that Kara Stanton wanted to chase, stalk, and have fun with her prey. Perhaps it was time to take an early retirement.

John.

Mark made a face at the thought of the man. So Kara wanted John before sliding between the sheets with him. He was simply the sloppy seconds after her first choice rejected her. It hadn't been the first time either. There were several women that chased John whenever they were on assignments but when he rebuffed them then he was their choice to bed. It irritated him back then and still did now. Kara's words struck him hard and all that petty envy he always felt boiled over. John didn't deserve all the admiration he received from Beale because he taught the man everything he knew. He didn't deserve the attention from the ladies; John just lucked out in having good genetics. He was better than Reese at everything. Always had been and always would be, yet he was always second to John.

Before he left for his retirement he had to finish what he started: find and kill John, to prove to no one else but himself that he was better than him. Kara failed him. Martine failed him. Sometimes, things had to be done yourself if you wanted them done right. Joss Carter was his only lead and she better pray that Reese would show himself for her or she was going to die in his place.

* * *

Joss seriously could get used to this. She was at home stretched out on her couch, feeding her son, while John sat at the other end of the couch massaging her tired feet. Although she should be the one giving John a massage since he was still recovering from gunshot wounds. He seemed a little more relaxed since leaving Shaw's place. Harold had quickly called his car company to send a car and a trusted driver of his to go pick John up to take him to Joss's at the dead of night last night. John hadn't been willing to come any earlier than the wee morning hours which made her a tad tired but she'd take it having him stay at her place.

Work had been long and Fusco had gone with Donnelly on a stakeout of Snow. Soon, she was going to give Lionel a call since it's been too quiet.

"So…my mom wants to meet you," Joss said softly, lifting her gaze off her hungry son. John paused in massaging her foot which earned a moan of protest and his hands resumed. "She wanted a reason why I didn't need her babysitting services and I told her the truth."

"The truth?" he questioned roughly. "You mean you told her you're sleeping with a supposedly dead ex-CIA agent?"

Joss narrowed her eyes on him but he didn't flinch or stop his intense gaze. "Not in so many words," she admitted, unwilling to lie to him. "I told her that the man I've fallen in love with was watching my son and that one day soon she would get to meet him. And when I say soon I mean when you're ready, John, and not a moment earlier. My mother is eager but understanding."

"And how will you introduce me?" he wondered, shifting to get more comfortable. Joss wondered if his hip was bothering him. He was shot only a little over a week ago.

She shrugged. "You tell me; who should I introduce you to my mother as?" she asked, turning it around on him. He frowned when she pulled her feet from his hands and lifted her legs off his lap as she sat up carefully with her son. "Do you miss it?" she asked gently.

"Miss what?"

"Doing something worthwhile; doing something that makes a difference," she clarified.

John made a face as he stood slowly needing to give his hip a break. Weakness plagued him still but he refused to let it stop him. "What I did in the CIA wasn't making a difference, Joss."

"Maybe not on all the cases they handed you but I'm sure there were cases you worked that were as they seemed," she countered, not about to let him deflect any sort of good he had done in the agency. All John remembered was the bad, not the good.

"Doesn't matter…."

"It does now that you will have a second chance at life once Mark Snow is taken care of," she argued as she stood slowly, gratefully letting John take the bottle so she could tap Taylor's back after putting the spit-up rag on her shoulder. "You need a job, but more importantly a purpose."

John looked away not wanting to admit to having thought about that since being laid up in Shaw's place. It was a long time since he actually thought of any future plans. And he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell Joss or not. He wanted her to go slowly though it seemed they had a difference of opinions on 'slowly' as she already told her mother about him, and he was staying here with her. John frowned as he realized that she hadn't pushed him into anything he hadn't wanted to do.

"You've been thinking about it, haven't you?" she asked softly with rhythmic taps on her son's back that were almost hypnotic and judging by the way Taylor was growing heavy in her arms it was lulling him to sleep.

"Yes," he answered honestly, though hesitantly.

Joss stepped close and lifted up on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I like that you are kind of thinking of the future. It's a first step and I know it's a doozy but I promise you, John, I'll be by your side every step of the way."

He stared at her and felt relieved. No pressure, nothing. She was giving him the time he needed but also encouraging him. John stepped closer and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist carefully so he didn't wake Taylor. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked.

Joss stared into his intense blue eyes, feeling her heart skip a beat at hearing the words, because those words said to her in his voice with such conviction could give her heart palpitations. "Yes, because it's as much as I love you," she replied softly. She searched his face. "You look tired. Let me go put Taylor down for the night and then we can head up to the bedroom and relax," she suggested.

"I want something else than relaxation," he rasped.

Joss shook her head. "Not yet," she countered.

"I feel better."

"Uh-huh, you can't even climb the stairs without assistance. Now stay put," she ordered softly. Joss turned and headed upstairs carrying her son leaving John to scowl at her backside. She knew he was growing listless and agitated with being told what to do but she had to bide her time when she was pregnant and play things his way, this time he had to do things her way.

She changed her son into tiny Spiderman jammies before picking him up and setting into his crib. Singing the same made up song her mom used to sing to her at night. She leaned down and kissed his forehead before quieting up and took the walkie for the baby monitor and left the room. Joss took a detour to her bedroom to change and stopped dead after she turned on the light. There in the corner of her room was a duffel bag with some of John's clothes peeking out from within it. Maybe tonight after he was relaxed she could suggest, in the lightest tone possible, that he could use the bottom drawer. It used to be Paul's, but since Taylor's birth and having maternity leave and not knowing what to do with all the time off she had cleaned it all out.

Joss pulled on her unsexy jammies which included a black shirt that was five sizes too big that simply read: I'm Not Bossy I'm Right, and black shorties. She hurried out of her bedroom with the walkie in hand and hurried to the stairs.

"John!" she exclaimed as he stood about halfway up the stairs looking pale and winded. "What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she stormed down the stairs to meet up with him.

"Proving to you I'm fine," he answered breathlessly as he clutched the banister in his left hand to the point of his knuckles turning white. "But I've come to realize I'm not as strong as I thought."

"I could have told you that! You were shot a little over a week ago. Your strength will come back but it requires some time," she explained for what felt like the hundredth time as she eased herself against his side and supported him up the rest of the way. John was a stubborn mule.

She helped steer him to her bedroom where she helped remove his clothes except for his underwear and then helped him into her bed where he collapsed and looked pained. "I'll go get the pain meds," she offered and turned to head to her bathroom to get the pain pills and shook out one. When she reappeared with the pill and a glass of water John was looking a bit better resting. John took the pill and gulped down water. Joss eased onto the bed beside him. "Better?"

"A bit," he agreed. She snuggled up against him. John could be content with just holding her. A part of his anatomy thought he was healed just fine but the rest of him wasn't ready. "Have you ever truly wondered how many licks it takes to get into the center of a Tootsie Pop?" he asked she eyed him questioningly. "Well it takes approximately 142.18 licks," he delivered his random fact with a relaxing smile.

"Seriously, the owl in the ad seemed to think it took three," she retorted breezily. "But I've got a better factoid: did you know that golf courses cover about 4% of North America?"

"Well since you're a cop you might find this one interesting: in California it's illegal to eat oranges while bathing."

Joss gaped at him. "Seriously, why?" she demanded and he shrugged. "Never mind, there are 293 ways to make change for a dollar."

"About 5,800 people go to the emergency room with pillow related injuries," he zinged.

"Contraception happens most often in December, go figure" she zagged.

"The first contraceptive was crocodile dung used by ancient Egyptians," John supplied.

"Ewwwww!" she moaned and laughed at the same time.

John reciprocated the laughter. "That was my reaction too," he agreed.

"I surrender to dung this round," she murmured as she pretended to wave an imaginary flag. She eyed him seriously. "I cleared out the bottom drawer of my dresser so instead of living out of your sad duffel bag you can put your clothes away there."

He looked at her silently before finally asking, "If I lived here would I get more than one drawer?"

"Maybe one more," she teased making him smile gently. "I could even carve out a tiny section of my closet for you too. Very tiny, but seeing as you don't have much of anything I don't see it being much of a problem."

John looked away and stared up at her ceiling, thinking. "What is an out-of-work ex-CIA agent and former military man do for a living?" he asked, suddenly bringing up the conversation they had only a short time ago downstairs.

"Not be a cop that's for sure," she muttered. She liked that he was still thinking about the future and was trying to figure things out.

He snorted. "Hooah," he exclaimed.

She chuckled before getting serious. "I don't know. Probably anything he wants since he has a friend that could get him an alias that is full-proof and any job he could ever want."

John held her to him as they both grew quiet. They stayed that way until she could tell John fell asleep as his hold loosened a bit. She looked up and saw his eyes closed and she wiggled free of his tight grasp and got up to go get her book needing to relax a little. Both Taylor and John were resting which left her a quiet night to herself. She'd just talk to Fusco in the morning. Joss climbed back into bed beside John gently as possible knowing he was a light sleeper and settled herself against the pillows and with one loving look at John she opened her book and found the spot she left off at.

* * *

AN: I wanted to tie in Martine nicely and give a reason as to why she hated the CIA. And now we have Mark Snow and Kara Stanton. Mark Snow wants to kill John and Kara wants to kill Snow. It's going to get a little crazy here on out now :)

Thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

Why weren't alarm bells ringing off the hook in his mind? It was that question preying on John's mind the rest of the morning after Joss took off for work. Holding Taylor nestled in his arms as he fed him his breakfast, John tried to understand why he so readily agreed with the bottom dresser drawer, even actually putting his clothes in it while she was in the shower. Given the fact that years ago he felt pressured when Jessica suggested that he should keep a toothbrush and comb at her place.

He looked down to the baby in his arms and sighed. "I need a man to man talk, Taylor, and since your mother is nowhere to be had to listen in on us, it will be just between us guys," he told Taylor. Taylor simply blinked and continued sucking on his bottle. "Being honest, I don't even know the man that I was before I met your mother. He was someone who had nothing. Was nothing. But now, now I feel as though I've changed. Joss changed me," he said working it over aloud. "Makes me see that I've been missing out on life and makes me want to have things I didn't think were meant for people like me."

Taylor made a sound which John took as a sign of approval. He pulled the bottle down and shifted so he could burp him. Patting his back softly as he bounced him in his arms, he thought about things. Life, something he hadn't anticipated wanting. But did thanks to a woman he met during a crisis, and saving her, but she saved him too. John smiled when he got a large burp in his ear.

He pulled the boy down and lifted high in the air making stupid faces at Taylor and earned a giant smile as he flailed his legs. "Don't you dare spit up on me now," he told Taylor using baby talk as he brought him close to press a kiss to his cheek and then lifted him high up in the air again. Taylor gave him a big smile as he flailed his arms and legs in agreement at being held high above him. He lowered him back down after a moment and rested the boy on his feet in his lap. Taylor stood on his thighs and made a sound. "Look who is a big boy and holding up his own head and standing! Wait until mommy hears this, she'll be proud of her little man." Taylor made a sound of delight. "Yea, I like making your mommy happy too."

John groaned as pain shot through him as he reached down on the floor to grab what seemed to him to be Taylor's favorite little toy. It lit up and sang different little songs. Last night they talked about what he saw himself doing in the future and, for once, speaking about it hadn't scared him. Maybe it was because of Joss's gentle way of pushing him forward while also not applying real pressure. She told him what she wanted from him but was willing to let him go about it slowly. All he ever wanted was to help people but joining the CIA hadn't been to do that. No, the CIA had made it sound as though that was what he was going to do but it was nothing but smoke and mirrors to get him join them to use his skill and expertise to their advantage. Joss gave him hope that after Mark was dealt with he could have a second chance and he knew what he wanted to do with that second chance: love Joss Carter, help her raise her son, and help people in need.

* * *

Joss drew in the murder suspect via his elbow with his hands cuffed behind his back. On the other side was Fusco, knowing they both looked smug, and neither cared. It had taken them nearly a week to pinpoint who would murder Trisha Dusky but they figured it out. Trisha Dusky had no enemies that anyone that knew her could tell them. But after some digging and finding out she was into BDSM and part of some underground club, they had new people to interview and learned about a man she was seeing. He was the last to be seen with her and he changed his story more times than she changed underwear; it had been easy to crack. The guy broke down in tears telling them he hadn't meant to murder her during rough sex, it just sort of happened.

A couple uniforms hurried over to take their suspect down to get fingerprinted and photographed before he was placed in a holding cell until he could be transported to the nearest jail. His arraignment, no doubt, will be in the morning sometime.

They fist-bumped as they walked to their respective desks, and sat down, not even angry they had more paperwork to do. It always felt good to get closure on a case so the families could finally begin the grieving process. "Another case closed," Fusco said with a smile.

"Yea," she agreed. However, there was a very big unsolved case which was only now getting under way. Lionel filled her in on Mark Snow giving them the slip and how Donnelly had just put in for the search warrant. Knowing the judge the warrant wouldn't come in until sometime today and that was a day late if you asked her.

Fusco eyed her. "Get out of here, Carter. I'll do the paperwork while you go see to wonder-boy," he offered.

She looked up. "I can't do that to you, Fusco. Besides John's feeling better. He's still sore and weak but he's eating better and walking around more."

"It's what partners are there for: to have each other's back, in and out of the field. If my girlfriend was banged up I know you'd help me out. Now get the hell out of here before I change my mind."

Joss stood immediately. "I'm not one to argue too much over not having to do more paperwork. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Are you going to be on time tomorrow which would be a rarity now?" he teased.

Joss rolled her eyes as she gathered up her keys. "Do you really want me to answer that candidly?" she asked. Fusco looked up and made a face. "I didn't think so." She merely waved at her friend and moved to the exit. As she headed to her car her cell phone rang and immediately answered it when she saw it was Shaw. "Hey, what's up?" she answered.

"We need to talk now," Shaw said without preamble. Joss frowned at the sense of urgency in Shaw's voice. It only changed her dry voice marginally but it was enough for Joss to pick up on. Something was up and that worried her.

"Where are you?" Joss asked instead of asking what was wrong. If Shaw felt it was something that could be talked about over the phone she would have just blurted it out in her usual candor.

"I'm at my place but I can meet you somewhere."

"No, I'll head to your place." Joss assured. "I'll be there in like ten minutes."

Shaw didn't respond verbally and they each hung up. It wasn't like Shaw to call up out of the blue while she was at work. And it was definitely unlike Shaw to be even fractionally upset.

Joss rushed over to Shaw's and barely knocked on her door, eleven minutes later, when Shaw answered it.

"You're late," was Shaw's welcoming comment.

Joss rolled her eyes. "By a minute," she retorted. "How often do you make me wait when you're late for drinks?"

Shaw didn't bother responding to her, or her attire, as Joss noticed that she was wearing a black tank top and just black panties. Shaw looked like she just hopped out of the shower. But her small friend disappeared into a room and reappeared carrying black Capri leggings and some photos with a manila folder.

"Take a look and tell me if you know who that brunette is," Shaw asked as she handed her the photos. Joss eyed them while Shaw finished dressing. "Root took these after following Snow to a meeting."

Joss shook her head as she flipped through the different photos of a brunette meeting with Snow at what appeared to be the Culvert Viaduct. Her eyes sharpened when she saw the glint of a gun in one photo.

She looked up. "Not a clue, Shaw."

Shaw nodded at the photos. "She's Kara Stanton, apparently your frog prince's former partner, and back from the dead too," she explained quietly. Joss looked at the photos with new eyes. This woman was the one that betrayed John and their country for a guy that double crossed her too. "Also she killed Martine and is out for blood, Snow's blood, and the two got into a firefight that ended with Snow making a getaway."

Joss looked at Shaw. "Did Root stay clear of it?"

"Unfortunately yes, since she showed up to our date just fine," Shaw muttered as she led Joss to her kitchen.

"Did Root happen to know if Kara knows about John's living status?" she asked because if she did that could spell disaster. There was no telling what Kara would do if she realized John was alive.

Shaw nodded yes in answer as she gulped down some orange juice straight out of the carton.

Joss nodded. "Okay, thanks for getting me these so quickly. Tell Root thanks for everything but now she needs to back off. She got me everything I needed, case closed," Joss ordered.

"Thank god, I was afraid the nerd would want a third date." Shaw grumbled.

Joss paused at the door and looked over her shoulder debating on asking about her dates with Root. But then the thought of the iron remark made Joss change her mind. She didn't really want to know. Joss waved goodbye to Shaw before rushing out of her place. She needed to go talk to John but first she needed to stop back at the precinct to talk to Lionel. She had to give him the news about Kara Stanton to pass it along to Donnelly. Things could get really bad now that the brunette was out hunting down Mark for revenge.

Joss climbed into her car, throwing the manila folder with the photos of Stanton in the backseat, and wondered if she should call Finch. Harold had gone through hell and back because of Kara Stanton and he deserved to know that she was alive, and should lay low for a while until they could apprehend her. She'd have to ask John what he thought once she got back home. She drove straight to the precinct.

After getting back to the precinct Joss hopped out of the car in a hurry when she remembered she forgot the photos. Joss cursed herself for getting ahead of herself as she turned and rushed back to her car. As she unlocked her car door she froze when she felt a barrel of a gun jammed into her lower back. She didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. The CIA was secretive and John proved just how easily he could come in and out of the shadows.

"Don't move detective, I'm tired of the games we've been playing and it's time for John to die," Mark Snow breathed in her ear.

Joss closed her eyes heavily at the sound of Snow's voice. He was brazenly holding her at gunpoint in the middle of the day and in her precinct's parking lot which showed how desperate he had become to find John. "I've told you I don't know who…" she tried but trailed off when the gun dug into her back painfully.

"I know you're lying about not knowing him. But you better be wrong about John not caring about you, Detective, because I will kill you instead," he threatened as he removed her gun from her holster and did a quick run over her body with his free hand to check for any other weapons. When satisfied there weren't any he stopped frisking her.

"He saved me," Joss answered truthfully while trying to scramble through ideas on how to get out of this.

Mark made a sound behind her. "At least you finally admit it. But the fact that you continuously claimed the man that helped you wasn't him makes me wonder if I was right all along. Since our first meeting you've tried to convince me that he wasn't the man that helped you and I know he was because I saw him with you after he beat the hell out of men on the street when you were big and pregnant. We both know I'm the one that killed your husband and Elias because no doubt John informed you of the little signature move I taught him and Kara."

"Still doesn't mean I've seen him since," Joss pointed out quietly.

"Actually it does because if you hadn't seen him since than there wouldn't be any reason to lie to me about it now would there? You lied to protect him," Mark reasoned. Joss couldn't argue with that logic since it was the truth. "I was right. You both tried to pull a fast one on me but I was right all along. I'm smarter than John and I just proved it. Now get in the car and do as I say and you might be able to make your way out of this in one piece, Detective, assuming that you actually do want to see your son grow up and stop protecting a man that doesn't deserve it."

Joss begrudgingly climbed into her car knowing that Snow held all the cards…for now. Mark climbed into the passenger seat beside her and kept the gun jammed into her side. "So where am I chauffeuring you to?" she asked casually, grateful the idiot was so pleased with the fact that he thought himself smarter than John and her that he hadn't bothered to look in her backseat or he might get curious to know what the folder contained. Then she'd have to explain about Root and that was something she didn't want to get into.

Mark smiled but the gun never wavered or relaxed in her grip. "Just listen to my instructions and you'll get there soon enough."

She could have said many things as they drove but instead she simply remained silent. There was no use. Mark Snow held the cards right now. Part of her wanted to gamble and take Snow on herself but the bigger part that wanted to see her son grow up kept her compliant, at least, for the time being. When she saw an opening that was in her favor she was going to take it.

It took over an hour of zig-zagging until she realized she was just two streets down from her place where John was neatly tucked away with her son. Joss shot Snow a dark look but was met with smile. "Let me guess; CIA safe-house?" she questioned.

"Actually no, it's my humble abode, Detective. Though not the one associated with Mark Snow this one I bought under an assumed name. I can't go to the other one now that Kara Stanton is as alive just as John is," he commented as if they were chums instead of hostage/hostage-taker.

Joss made a face, choosing to pretend stupidity over actually remarking on the fact that a man under a CIA salary would never be able to afford such a place under an assumed name or not. If she tipped her hand that she knew what he did then she could end up dead quickly.

"Gee, is this how you get all your dates back to your place by forcing them by gunpoint?" she sniped, stalling. She looked him up and down. "I can see why," she said dismissively.

He laughed. "You sure are a firecracker, detective. No wonder why John couldn't turn away from you. His ex-girlfriend Jessica had been a different story she, was painfully dull."

"How would you know?"

Mark shrugged. "I made it a point to know everything about my agents that were under my care. I met with her 'accidentally' to see if she would prove to be a nuisance or not. Now climb out and please don't do anything stupid, detective, I really don't want to have to shoot you where you stand but I will."

Joss made a face throwing Mark the car keys to him, then climbed out of her own car held at gunpoint with her hands held out. She was pushed forward by the barrel of the gun and a rough hand on her elbow to head to his front door before she was given keys to unlock it. The gun never moved and Snow seemed to be impatient with her. Once she unlocked the door she was shoved inside.

"Pull your handcuffs out detective very slowly and put them on the floor and then put your hands behind your back." Snow instructed. She did as she was told and Mark promptly placed her in the cuffs and then lowered the weapon.

He pulled her by her elbow towards the living room where a couch sat. "Sit down and take a load off, detective, you're going to be here for a little while." Snow murmured as he pushed her to the couch but before she was allowed to sit he reached into her back pants pocket to pull out of her cellphone, and then copped a feel.

"Better be grateful my hands are cuffed behind my back or I'd beat you senseless for touching me," Joss vowed as she was thrust forward onto the couch and glared up at him once she righted herself. Mark didn't respond except for a scuzzy smile that she wanted to wipe off his face. She eyed him darkly. "So what is with this crazy obsession with John?—you need to find him to see what a real man looks like?" she wondered just to needle him. It worked judging from the harsh stinging slap across her face she received from Mark. That slap proved one thing to her: Mark Snow let words get to him which could come in handy.

"John will always and forever be inferior to me, detective," Mark responded angrily before rifling through her phone. "Is his number the unknown one?"

"Yes," she answered begrudgingly knowing that stalling this time wouldn't be a good idea. Joss had to pick and choose her battles to get under Mark's skin and this was not one of those times.

Mark smiled as he clicked the number and set her phone to his ear. His smile grew as John's voice filled his ear. "Hello John, it's been a long time."

* * *

AN: John will not be happy with this news but then Joss Carter is not a woman to be reckoned with. Snow 'thinks' he's the smartest but he's in for a real treat ;D

Thank you for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

John's blood stilled in his veins as his heart stopped beating altogether at the sound of Mark's voice but more importantly from the fact that he was calling him on Joss's phone. Guilt swarmed him. He knew he should have stayed away but hadn't been able to. He hadn't been able to resist the pull that drew him to Joss Carter, and now looked at what happened.

"Mark," he responded emotionlessly burying his feelings.

"Now is that any way to respond to someone who is holding onto something important to you?" Mark clucked with amusement in his voice.

"Let her go."

"Can't do that John; Joss is my insurance policy to make sure you show up."

John gripped his phone tightly. "I won't agree to go anywhere until I make sure she's still alive." John countered. "Put her on the phone now or when I find you I'm going to rip your heart out with my bare hands."

Mark smiled as he stepped towards her. Joss knew that John wanted to talk to her to make sure she was alive, this wasn't his first rodeo either. Mark put the phone to her ear. "Say something nice," Mark instructed.

Joss glared up at him. "Bite me!" she snarled.

"That's my girl," John rasped over the phone.

Joss focused on John. "I'm okay, John; just stuck with an idiot that has more air in his head than a balloon," she muttered. Joss didn't give the satisfaction to Snow with a moan of pain, who slapped her across the face again, and the phone was tugged away from her ear.

John heard the slap of flesh meeting flesh and knew Joss paid for her comment about Snow. "Touch her again and I'll show you true pain, Mark," he promised darkly.

"If she keeps her mouth shut then I wouldn't need to. Now that you heard she's still alive and bitchy you have ten seconds to agree to come to me or I kill her right now," Mark growled as John heard the sound of the hammer being pulled back on a gun that was no doubt placed to Joss's forehead.

John didn't hesitate. "Where and when?"

"We'll see if you can follow orders for once, John; tonight, I want you to head to this address and we'll settle everything there once and for all. I expect you there by midnight or you can kiss Joss goodbye," with that Mark hung up.

John angrily pulled the phone away and received a text from her phone with the address. He couch barely resisting the strong desire to punch someone or something but couldn't since his only companion was Taylor. He looked in on the said boy who was sound asleep in his crib. "I'll get your mother back, I swear it," he assured him before taking the walkie for the baby monitor and hurrying downstairs. He needed to figure out who could watch Taylor for him while he was out getting his mother back. But before that he needed to get a hold of Harold and have him look into this address for him. No doubt it was probably a CIA safe-house that Mark Snow knew like the back of his hand. If that was indeed the case than he needed some help in knowing the ins and outs of the place as well.

He took the steps two at a time while he called Harold. John impatiently paced the floor as he waited for his friend to answer. When finally Harold picked up instead of letting his friend even get a word in he blurted; "Harold, Snow grabbed Joss to lure me out and I need you to get me everything you can on this address that I'll be texting you. And I need it immediately if not sooner."

"Oh dear," Harold said, sounding panicked. John was about to bark at his friend to control his panic because Joss needed him calm but didn't need to because Harold spoke again but this time more confidently; "Send me the address and I'll get to work on finding out everything I can for you."

John instantly hung up and sent him the address for his friend to begin his search. Now he just needed to find someone to stash Taylor with. John fisted his hands as rage coursed through his veins. Snow wouldn't kill Joss…not yet, not when he needed her alive to lure him to a meeting. There wasn't any reason in letting his anger get the better of him. That could come after he saved her. First, he needed to think of someone to send Taylor to when there was a knock at the door.

John's senses went on alert and he stalked to the window and peered out. A heavier set man with curly hair and a bad looking suit stood on the stoop with a smile on his face and John instantly placed him as Joss's partner. John watched as the man knocked again. "Come on Carter! I let you head home early so I know you're in there with Mr. Wonderful but I got good news!" he bellowed.

John hesitantly opened the door. "Detective Fusco, we meet again," he murmured.

Lionel smiled a little. "Hey wonder-boy, glad you're up and adam, but I need to talk to Carter. She'll be glad because I finally got the news she was waiting for…FBI obtained a search warrant on Mark Snow," he announced happily, surely that should make Mr. Tall, Dark, and Stormy happy because right now he looked kind of apoplectic.

"Get inside, we have a problem," he ordered stiffly as he turned on his heels and moved away from the door.

"With a summons like that how can one refuse?!" Lionel griped as he entered and slid the door closed.

"Joss was taken," John stated briskly wanting this man's cooperation. And it seemed the sooner he realized there was a very real problem the sooner they could formulate a plan.

Lionel stopped and stared at the big guy. "Come again?"

"Joss was abducted." John repeated, losing his patience.

"What, when?" Lionel barked. "I let her leave the precinct early to go home to be with you and her squirt."

"Well she never came home. But she called me, or so I thought, and Snow was on the other end. I got him to put Joss on the line and she's alive but being held as a means to lure me out," John remarked.

Lionel sighed, because this was what he was afraid of ever since he learned about wonder-boy. "How can I help bring back my partner in one piece?" he asked finally.

John eyed the shorter man. "I do need your help, Lionel, but not with rescuing Joss. I need someone to trust Taylor's safety with and Joss seems to trust you so I will too."

"Whoa, wait a minute, you're not benching me, wonder-boy! You and Carter might be a thing but she's my friend a hell of a lot longer than you two have been dating!"

"I need someone to trust taking care of Taylor, Lionel. Joss is taken and I can't tell her mother that. The only other person is Shaw or you." John stated gruffly. He needed Shaw's services in a different way hoping like hell she had something that could numb the pain he felt still from his gunshot wounds.

Lionel literally shivered. "Handing Taylor to a pack of wolves would be better than having that tiny ball of anger watch him. But you make a good point and Carter would want someone to guard her son with his life."

"And that someone is you, Fusco. I can't worry about saving Joss when I'll be worried about Taylor," John murmured. The shorter man eyed him warily. "I know you don't like me or even know me but I love Joss and I'll die before I let anyone hurt her."

Fusco searched the big guy's gaze and saw nothing but honesty residing there. He very much did love his partner and was willing to sacrifice his life for hers. And that made him rest a little easier. "Just…don't get yourself killed because Carter would never forgive ya, ya hear?"

A tiny twitch of a smile flickered on the big guy's lips but never quite made it. "I'll gather Taylor's essentials up so we can get him to your place safely as soon as possible." but before he could do so his phone rang and John immediately answered it when he saw it was Harold. "Please tell me you have something already, Finch," he demanded.

"I looked into the address and found that it is for commercial building that is currently closed for remodeling. As far as I can tell the remodel has been going on for years which led to me to dig deeper into the property. I discovered that truly no one owns the building; the man that is claimed to be the owner of the building doesn't exist. And the only conclusion I could come up with is that this location is a CIA black site," Harold said urgently.

John nodded. "Meaning that Snow will know the ins and outs of the location, so I will need to as well."

"Of course, John," Harold agreed sounding out of breath. "I'll get you everything I can. Since I'm not back home in East Hampton I had to head to a place with more wi-fi anonymity."

"Where?"

"Times Square," Harold admitted. "I'll call you back when I know more."

John hung up and looked to Fusco. "Let's go pack up Taylor to head home with you, Lionel, so I can go save his mother."

* * *

Lionel had just left with Taylor. John stalked around her place feeling the effects of his injuries really needing to contact Shaw. He had gone up and down the stairs with Fusco determinedly not to show the cop that his injuries were impeding him any. He didn't want the rotund and snarky cop to offer to help aside from taking Taylor. He changed into dark colored clothes for the impending showdown when he heard the front door kicked in.

He leaned against the wall near the doorway of Joss's bedroom as he listened to someone moving around on the lower floor. There wasn't any way that it was Snow. He wouldn't have taken Joss and wanted to meet up at night when he was just going to show up to her place in broad daylight. So whoever this was, was here because of Joss. Her ex was dead and so was Carl Elias. He knew about the investigation that was done on HR that she helped with so maybe a few loyal members had decided to come and look for retribution on her? Well, they were in for a rude awakening.

John heard the footsteps on the staircase and held his breath as his body readied itself to go on offense. He heard movement towards the left meaning the intruder went to go look into the other rooms first and once they realized it was just a child's bedroom and guest room they would head this way. It took only a few minutes for that to become true. He first saw the barrel of the gun that had a silencer attached to it and then a slim hand, meaning it was a woman, and he reached out grabbing the wrist and twisted.

The gun fell to the ground and he used his other hand to reach out and grab her neck. John didn't show his surprise as he came face to face with Kara Stanton, and neither did she as she used her free hand to grab her knife and press it to his neck. He squeezed her neck tightly and she smirked as she pressed the knife into his skin.

"Kara," he greeted, wanting nothing more than to snap her neck.

"John," she rasped raggedly due to his hand around her neck. Kara instantly rammed a knee up into his side and he gasped as it connected with his healing hip injury and let go of her neck as he backpedaled to protect it. Kara noticed it immediately. "You're injured," she laughed. "This isn't going to be nearly as much fun as it was going to be."

Kara lunged for him and he immediately went on the defensive, going to need to attack when an opening came since he was injured and she knew it. Each one managed a hit or two but they were too well versed in each other's preferences for either of them really to gain an advantage. It wasn't until Kara finally landed another hit on his hip that made him make a misstep and she used that to her advantage in downing him and immediately climbing on top of him pressing her knees into his hips to keep the pain intense. John felt his face pale as he wasn't nearly healed enough to go toe to toe with Kara but he used what was left of his strength to throw her off him and she smacked her head against the wooden chest at the foot of Joss's bed. He grasped his hip as he struggled to get up.

Unfortunately, Kara gathered her wits and crawled for her gun and grabbed it before he could and held him at gunpoint. "Well, I was wrong. That was more fun than I thought given the fact that you're hurt."

"How did you make it out alive?" he asked.

"Well, I can't say that I blame you for thinking I was dead. I had just stood there in utter amazement that I foolishly let myself get played by a man," Kara agreed darkly. "I escaped with my life barely and this nice elderly Chinese couple took me in and saved my life. I faked amnesia and once I was well enough to leave, I did."

"You let them live?" John questioned, feeling the pain in his hip somewhat lessen. Good, if he kept her talking he could maybe flip the script. Kara now knew about Joss and his whereabouts which meant that she could be even more dangerous than Mark Snow.

Kara chuckled at him. "They didn't know who or what I was. They just wanted to help me so of course I let them live. I do have a conscience, John…even if it's very small," she chided. "But I had to find Mark to make him pay for taking my life from me. And who would have known that he was so wrapped in finding you after all this time. I'm glad you survived because it's fitting that the three of us are back together after everything and we can settle this for once and for all. I've been watching Mark and he seemed to have an unusual interest in Detective Joss Carter and now I know why…because of you."

"Stay the hell away from Joss," he growled.

Kara grinned. "I tried to research a way to find Root but when that was a dead end I came here only to find out more about the little detective and why she held interest to Mark. I didn't suspect to find you but I'm glad I did because you're my golden ticket to finding Mark now that he got away from me once; he wants to find you and I want to find him."

"Mark has Joss," he admitted gruffly. "I'm meeting him tonight to get her back."

"I'm coming with you," she stated. John didn't respond and Kara drew back the hammer of the gun. "I could kill you now. I will find Mark again even if he runs away from New York. Then not only would you die but that innocent little detective would too. We both know how innocent lives matter to you." she snarled coldly before brightening up. "Or, you agree to take me to your meeting with Mark and you save her while I get his head on a stick!"

John arched a brow. "I'm supposed to believe that you'll let Joss go after this? I'm supposed to trust you even after you betrayed me and sided with Mark Snow." he murmured.

"No, but, you really have no other choice and I want revenge on Mark Snow," Kara growled. "Die now and she dies later. Or, we have a happy reunion later and there is a possibility of your little detective living. Honestly, I don't care if she lives or not. I just want Mark. Those are your options John."

He had another option. Kara thought she was smart but didn't know he had a gun on his person and he could kill her. But the problem with killing her was she'd shoot back then he wouldn't be able to show up to the meeting with Snow and he'd kill Joss. "Alright, we'll work together one last time, Kara. But I'm to come alone so you need to stay out of sight until I make sure Joss is alright and then you can have Snow to your heart's content."

"Sounds like a plan, Boy Scout."

John nodded. "Good. Oh and Kara...touch Joss, I'll snap your neck."

"I've missed you John. This reunion is going to be one of hell of a party." she snickered.

* * *

Joss sat on the couch watching Mark pace. He looked to her. "What am I going to do with you?" he wondered aloud. "I can't kill you before the meeting or I risk the chance of John not showing up at all. But after John's dead, what do I do with you then?"

"Kill me," she answered.

Mark looked to her strangely. "Most people beg for their lives at this stage."

"I'm not most people."

He sat down on the couch beside her. "And why aren't you like most people in this instance, Joss?" he questioned.

"I have pride, you know. We both know you're going to kill me after this is over no matter what. You're not going to let a cop go after holding her hostage and murdering a man in cold blood in front of her. And I will not beg for my life," she stated defiantly as she lifted her chin.

"Now it makes sense why John is enamored with you," Mark remarked, lost in awe as he looked her up and down. "It certainly isn't your looks or brains but it's your honor. You're a good woman who has strong convictions."

"John likes my brains and looks just fine, thank you," she said scathingly.

"John uses sex as a way to simulate intimacy, Joss, but it's just an illusion. He's broken just like the rest of us are. The things we do for our country for the little thanks we get makes us that way," Mark murmured. "As a detective you surely should have realized that by now."

She looked at Mark directly. "You have no idea what our relationship is or isn't. And John's not broken, damaged…yes, but not broken. He's too stubborn to break. And he certainly doesn't deserve to be hunted down like an animal."

Mark made a face. "It's John fault as to why; had he just kept his nose clean of my business and stopped asking questions about his orders than he would never have been retired. None of this would be happening to him or you," he stated as he stood up once more. "We leave at eleven. John dies at midnight and then I'll figure out what I'll do with you then." With that he left the room, leaving her alone in her thoughts as she came up with a plan.

* * *

AN: Kara is a piece of work. But next chapter will be...chaotic :)

Thank you for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

Joss was dragged into the single story commercial building that Snow was going to use to try to murder John in. But Mark Snow underestimated her. As she waited for night to fall he had left her alone in his living room to go eat. When he had she scanned his place searching for anything to use to jimmy open her handcuffs and, lucky for her, on his desk in the corner of the room was a stack of papers that were put together with a nice silver paperclip. She had quietly as she could, stood up and moved to the desk for the paperclip. Once she had it she practically raced back to the couch so he wouldn't find her up. When Snow came back in she curled her two hands into fists so he wouldn't suspect she was holding something in one of them and hurled insults his way, and he was none the wiser. Joss had sat for hours like that waiting for the right time to begin picking the lock of her handcuffs. That time wouldn't be until she was moved to the meeting place.

Now as she was pushed into the building and into the corner of the empty wide open space that was clear of debris, unlike the other corner of the room, and fell onto her side. He pulled a gun on her as he aimed it at her head. She flicked her hair back and glared up at him. "Stay put, Carter, because I need you alive long enough to lure John here," he ordered. "And while you're at it, put a sweet smile on your face too."

"I can't wait to see John kick your ass," she sneered as she placed a fake cheery smile on her face knowing that John wasn't physically healed in the slightest. Joss looked around and then back at him. "A CIA black site, really?"

"It used to be one. It hasn't been used in months so I knew this would give us the right cover we needed for tonight," Mark said simply. "John never used this one but I have multiple times."

"Ah, you need all the advantages you can since you know John is the better man."

"No, I just like having things in my favor. Now, be quiet detective," Snow commanded as he turned his back on her. Joss proceeded to straighten the paperclip behind her back slowly to minimize her wiggling. She'd show Mark Snow to never underestimate her or John ever again. 

* * *

John arrived at the commercial building that was closed down due to remodeling but that was years ago. It was a single story building that once was a manufacturing distribution center. Harold had somehow managed to obtain original blueprints of the building so he now knew where every door was inside the building. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and his heart pounded so hard he thought it was going to come right out of his chest. He didn't know what was going to happen tonight other than Joss was going to come out of it unscathed, for that he was certain. Mark had to be already there waiting for him.

After Kara's departure he required Shaw's aid who cussed long and hard about Mark abducting Joss. She did look over his hip wound and then agreed to getting him something to control the pain so he could fight for his and Joss's life. About an hour before he left he had her inject him with Toradol and it helped with the pain and numbed it somewhat.

He pulled up into the empty lot. Snow must have parked in the back alleyway. He exited the car but instead of entering he scanned the perimeter just in case. No one was lurking around. Thanks to Harold, he knew of the exits and entrances and chose to enter from the back. Surely, Mark would be anticipating him to enter the front and he would do anything to unbalance the man. He knew Kara was lurking in the shadows just biding her time to show her face. He requested fifteen minutes after the meeting which she agreed too, barely.

Gun drawn, he moved slowly through the door and saw that one set of lights were on while it kept the rest of the large room shrouded in darkness. He saw Joss lying on her side in a corner. In the other corner that he could see there were debris piled up. It looked like metal fencing which meant it was used to house undisclosed terrorists to find out if they were a part of a sleeper cell or worked alone.

"Joss," he called out as he entered and let the heavy door close behind him.

Her head jerked up and couldn't see him. "I'm over here, John," she called out breathy.

John moved closer to her though he didn't see Mark but knew he was in there somewhere. "Where is he, Joss?" he asked. But she didn't answer and when he felt the barrel of a gun jammed into his lower back he now knew he was waiting in the dark corner. "Hello Mark," he greeted coldly.

"Hello John," Mark responded, though with a smile sounding in his voice. "You are truly one hard man to kill. Now put your gun down slowly and kick it away from you." John did as he was told as he slowly lowered the gun down and then straightened, keeping his hands up. John shifted only his eyes on Joss who gave him what appeared to be a smirk. Ah, she had a plan which wasn't surprising. John kicked his gun in her direction. "You know I could have just shot you in the back but it wouldn't have been as satisfying. Now get to your knees, John."

John made a production of getting to his knees and felt the barrel of the gun being pressed to the back of his head. He saw Joss's eyes widened and her face pale. But he smiled at her. "I love you, Joss."

"I love you too, John," she responded roughly.

Mark rolled his eyes. "Touching, now you've said your last words. Finally, your time is up, John!"

But it was in that moment John made his move. He turned grabbing Mark's wrist, pushing it up as he stood up, as Mark fired the weapon, hitting the ceiling. John twisted Snow's wrist, jarring the gun free of his grip and then kicked it away from them both.

"I guess my time's not up just yet," John growled.

Snow looked down at his gun and then back to John and a grin grew as he raised his hands up. "I guess we have to do this the old fashioned way. I taught you everything you know," Mark snarled.

"Not everything," John responded as he went on the defensive the moment Snow lunged for him. He blocked a blow and then another before he took one to his stomach though turning a bit to keep his hip free of the hit letting Snow set the pace. He needed to buy Joss some time who was wiggling as she was apparently trying to get her hands free.

Joss watched the two men fight. Judging from the way John was pacing himself he was trying to give her time to get out of the handcuffs. Thankfully too, getting the paperclip straightened to insert it into the keyhole and begin the process of picking the lock behind her back was decidedly a lot harder than what showed on the TV screen. But she would succeed. Joss wasn't new to picking a lock, learning how to do it a long time ago, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be slow at it when it was behind her back.

She winced a bit when John took a rather harsh blow to the side of the face and she hoped John retaliated and good. Joss worked harder on the cuffs and almost cheered aloud when she saw John punch Snow in the face. Good, do it again! She watched John's movements realizing that he was moving well like he wasn't in any pain but that couldn't be since he had a hard time getting up and down the steps. Shaw had to have given him something to control the pain to let him move around she realized.

"And here I'm missing all the fun….

Everyone in the room stopped dead, her included. All three sets of eyes turned to the woman that entered the front entrance with her own gun drawn on the men. Joss shifted her gaze off her first when she realized it was Kara Stanton. But judging from John's lack of surprise he knew she was alive. Joss resumed her desperate work on the cuffs. If Kara was here that meant shit was about to get worse.

Mark looked between Kara and John. "You don't seem surprised she's alive," Mark replied.

Kara smiled as she continued to hold them at gunpoint. "That's because we set this little charade up, Mark. I went to look into Joss Carter who you seemed to be preoccupied with and guess who I ran into there?" she said as her eyes never left Mark's. "I found John. So we struck a deal…I let him live to come save his girlfriend and he'd lead me to you."

Joss worked double time to get the handcuffs undone. There was no way in hell she believed that Kara and John had a chummy meet and greet back at her place.

"Unfortunately, John, this is where our partnership ends. Lots of people want you dead, myself included," Kara remarked casually.

"They just don't get my witty charm," John deadpanned, and Joss inwardly snorted at his response. Only John would find a way to work in his wry humor in the face of extreme danger. She felt the cuff loosen around her left wrist and her eyes narrowed coldly on the brunette needing to make her move at the right time.

"Mark wants you dead so you can't spill the beans about his treasonous crimes and prove he's the better man. The higher ups wanted you dead because you just couldn't keep your mouth shut. And I want you dead because you'll stop me from torturing Mark Snow since you've always been a pathetic Boy Scout," Kara said as she leveled the gun on John. "You were right not to trust me but then you had to, seeing as you're cute little detective was in need of saving. Always the protector and I'll always use that against you. Goodbye John…."

Joss shot up and barreled right into Kara Stanton's side hoping that she blindsided her. They crashed onto the floor which jarred loose the gun Kara had and sent it flying across the floor.

John pivoted and went to punch Mark, who must have had the same idea, as Mark slammed a fist into his gut. John backed off and Snow's eyes glinted murderously.

Joss couldn't focus on what was happening with John because Kara regained her composure and flipped Joss off of her. Joss scrapped to her feet using her smallness to her advantage. Speed, she needed to be quicker than Kara. Kara was better trained and a better fighter. But hopefully her blindness to revenge would be useful to her.

"I guess you want to die first, huh," Kara sneered.

Joss made a face. "I've seen worse than you."

"No, you really haven't," Kara exploded as she lunged at her. They grappled and Joss winced as Kara connected a knee to her stomach but Joss stuck her leg between Kara's and flipped her over and onto her back. But she was brought down with Kara as she kept a tight grip on her forearm and pulled her down with all her strength.

Both women climbed to their feet. Joss was more in a defensive posture than Kara was who was actually smiling. "John must be good in bed if you are willing to die for him," she snarled. Joss glanced quickly to see that John and Snow were literally beating the hell out of each other. John's movements were getting a bit slower so whatever was in his system to numb him from the pain wasn't working all that well from the stress he was putting his body under. Her heart ached seeing him like that but she refocused on her opponent who stole the opportunity to look at John herself. "Never could get him there, though I tried. But he was hung up on the ex-girlfriend, Jessica. Tell you what; I'll make sure John dies first so he won't have to suffer when I make you beg for mercy," Kara stated.

Joss lunged for her and sent them both to the ground once again, and again Joss landed on top but this time she straddled the brunette and pummeled her fist into her face. Kara had brought up her hands to protect her face from the beating.

"Only one that'll be begging will be you," she hissed.

Kara flung her from on top of her. And they both slowly stood and they were both scouring the floor for the gun and when they both saw it, they lunged for it together. As they straightened both of them were grappling for it.

John jammed his foot into Mark's side but got sidetracked when he heard Joss make a vicious shout. Kara had bitten her. He moved towards them when he was cold-cocked and he fell to all fours. Mark, out of breath, and injured reached for the other gun on the floor and eyed John.

"I know how to make you truly suffer, John," Mark snarled as he aimed the gun in Joss's direction.

Joss heard the roar of her name. She looked away from Kara to see that Snow was aiming a gun on her and she reacted by wrapping an arm around Kara's neck and pulled her directly in front of her just as Snow fired three times consecutively and felt Kara's body jerk and then go limp in her arms. Joss took a hold of the gun they were fighting for as Kara slid to the floor and watched John charge at Snow in fury.

"No, don't John!" she shouted.

John skidded to a stop at the last second, deciding to trust her skill and dropped to the floor to watch as Joss dove and rolled until she landed on her knees as Snow fired at where she was, not where she moved to. Joss fired in rapid succession at Snow and felled him.

"You okay?" John demanded gruffly, out of breath, reaching out to take the gun away from Snow as he gasped and grabbed at his side as blood spewed out of his wounds.

"Yes," she answered focusing the gun on Kara but saw her unmoving in a pool of blood. But to be sure she put two fingers to her neck and found no pulse. Joss glanced in John's direction, seeing that he was climbing to his feet. She did the same, putting the gun in the back of her pants, and rushed at him flinging her arms around his neck. "I'm okay," she assured him as he shook in her arms. She moved back to give him a quick look-over and whimpered in anguish. John had a split lip and a lump the size of California forming above his brow nearly making his eye swell shut. His knuckles were raw and bloodied, probably same as hers were but his wince and the way he was moving gingerly meant that Snow had done something to his wounds.

"Did he reopen your wound?" she asked as she surveyed his hip area and gasped as she saw a blood stain on his shirt but it was higher up. It wasn't large like a gunshot wound but it was bleeding freely.

"No, it hurts like a bitch though. But you know that pile of debris?" he rasped.

"Yes…."

"Well, Snow found something sharp and stabbed me with it. No big deal but it stings," he admitted, gingerly feeling out the wound.

Joss grabbed his cheeks firmly and pulled him down for a lingering kiss and then stepped back. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you," she whispered. "God, I love you."

"I love you too, Joss," he responded as he traced her jaw with his fingertips, worshiping her. "Do you have any idea how hot your 'gun-face' is?"

"My gun-face?" she asked incredulous.

"Yea, you know, the badass look on your face just as you shot Snow."

Joss chuckled, which was insane since they were surrounded by dead people, but John made her do the craziest things. "You should go, John, preferably to see Shaw to get looked at. I'll deal with this mess." she murmured as she looked around. She needed John to remain dead to the outside world.

John frowned as he shook his head. "I can't just leave you with two dead bodies, Joss. I'll help make it appear as though Mark and Kara had a bad romance that led to a falling out. It won't be tough once the FBI realizes she has a death certificate."

"Like the song," she muttered. John frowned. "I'll introduce you to Lady Gaga some other time. But let me take care of this John, please. I need you to trust me."

"I do. But this is my past."

Joss eyed him. "But your past is now my past too, John. We're partners, so we deal with the past ghosts together; yours and mine," she replied rather forcefully. "I assume you had Fusco take Taylor."

"I did."

"Go pick him up after you get yourself checked out by Shaw. I got some bruises but otherwise nothing that shows I just got into a brawl but I'll need Fusco's help with this. I'll take care of it just as you took care of things for me with Elias."

John eyed her and then pulled her in for a hard kiss. "You better come home to me," he stated gruffly. She shivered at how happy she felt at the sound of the word 'home' coming from him.

"Why wouldn't I when my son and you are there?" she inquired reasonably.

John pressed one last lasting kiss on her lips before looking around and left limping without another word.

* * *

AN: I couldn't let John have ALL the fun. Joss deserved to get to kick some ass and save the day since he saved the day in the first story.

Thank you for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

John paced the length of Joss's place even though his body protested the movement. Thanks to the fight his entire body stiffened up and he wanted to fall asleep from the exhaustion but refused too. It was in the wee morning hours. He knew she wouldn't be back until possibly six or seven in the morning but that didn't abate the anguish in his heart as each new hour passed and still no sign of her. He checked on Taylor several times using it as a way to calm his frayed nerves. He hadn't even had a chance to think about what it meant now that Mark Snow and Kara Stanton were dead. What that meant for his life moving forward. There were only three people in the entire CIA that even knew that he existed in the agency due to the clandestine division he worked for, and two of the three were dead now. And no doubt Director Beale would send agents upon agents to find him and eliminate him due to his questioning of his authority. But he didn't have to worry about it much since Beale wouldn't be leaving his cushy office in Washington anytime soon.

But that was secondary because until he saw Joss again with his own eyes he couldn't even begin to think about a possible future. After he picked up Taylor, who was snoring logs the entire time, he had done as Joss requested and sought medical assistance. And instead of going to Shaw he asked Finch for a private doctor, someone that Harold trusted implicitly. Her name was Megan Tillman and happened to be one of Grace's best friends. Dr. Tillman gave him a tetanus shot since he couldn't tell her when the last time he had one or what Snow used to stab him with. Dr. Tillman had been impressed with Shaw's work on his gunshot wounds but wanted to see him in a week to make sure he was healing correctly. Once she was finished seeing to his injuries she had held Taylor as payment and then he was released from her private practice or, AKA, her apartment.

John scowled as he peered out the window and saw no headlights appearing to signal that Joss was home. He stormed to the kitchen and poured himself another cup of coffee that he had brewed. As he sipped the black coffee he heard the sound of a car door open then shut. Slamming the cup down not bothering to clean up the coffee that sloshed onto the countertop he hurried out and heard footsteps coming up the front stoop. He unlocked and opened the door before she could even pull out her keys.

"Hey, I thought you'd be…" She trailed off and let out a little yelp of surprise as he pulled her inside, slamming the door shut behind them and kissed her senseless. Joss sighed and moaned in response as she eagerly kissed him back. After several hot moments she eased back. "Now that's a mighty nice way to say hello," she teased with a yawn.

John tugged her to the living room, where there was soft light from a lamp, and raked an observing gaze over her. He made a sound at the small bruise on her cheek and then held her hands up for his inspection. Her knuckles were raw but thankfully Kara hadn't broken skin with her hard head.

"I definitely look better than you do," she soothed. "Did you really have to let him get that many hits on you especially since you're just recovering from gunshots?"

"Sorry, I was sidetracked with the woman I love fighting a woman that tortured people for fun," he admitted roughly but then tugged her onto his lap as they sat down on her couch. "What happened?" he asked.

"Not much to say. Once Fusco got there we worked to make sure our statements matched and made it look like Mark and Kara were embroiled in a love triangle that went bad. Mark cheated on Kara who killed him in a fit of rage before ultimately turning the gun on herself," Joss murmured. "I called Finch to see if he could hack into personal computer to include some emails for Donnelly to find once he does a clean sweep of Mark's place depicting an illicit affair that went wrong. Fusco is sure that Donnelly will believe it."

"Coroner will know that Kara didn't kill herself," he commented as he rubbed a hand over her back.

"I know. But that's where Shaw comes in. She's going to make sure she's there when the bodies come in and falsify the results to match. After this we're going to owe her free steak dinners for life but I'm not complaining."

John frowned. "I don't want to get your friend in trouble…"

"No one will know the truth except us. Besides, I think Shaw finds this exhilarating. Shaw is a former Marine before she signed up for Med School. I am a little surprised, with her personality disorder, why she got out of the military."

He thought about it. "Maybe nobody liked her brand of _charm_. It seems no one likes mine either," he joked.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Joss joked back.

"No, ma'am, you're Grade A Prime Rib," he teased as he leaned forward and kissed her briefly. Joss leaned her head against his shoulder as silence enveloped them. Her eyes drooped and she jerked up as she felt one second away from falling asleep on him and he would let it and be uncomfortable all night. It was a long day with being abducted and subjected to hours in Mark Snow's company, a man she despised for the things he had done to not only John but to their country as well, and then being rescued, and dealing with the fallout afterwards. She felt like she could sleep a week.

"As much as I love curling up in your lap I think we'd both benefit from a good night sleep in a bed. I'm beat and I know you have to be too." she admitted and a large yawn escaped her. He didn't respond as he let her slip from his lap and stand before following her up.

Joss helped him upstairs, detouring only to check on Taylor, and made their way to her bedroom where they pulled their respective clothes off, leaving them on the floor. John stood in his boxer-briefs with a new bandage on his torso and watched as Joss pulled on an oversized shirt but that was it. She climbed in first and he spooned up behind her as he pulled the comforter over their bodies and held her to him.

She sighed as she snuggled in his arms. "There are one million ants for every human in the world," Joss said ending with another huge yawn.

He smiled against her hair. After the day they had they deserved to indulge in their never ending battle of who had more useless knowledge floating around in their heads. "The average talker sprays about 300 microscopic saliva droplets per minute," he countered.

"Gives new meaning to 'say it not spray it' doesn't it?" she muttered, making him chuckle as he held her tighter to him. He could have lost her tonight, lost this, and he wouldn't have ever been able to recover. He wanted to die when he learned Jessica was gone but he'd want to cease to exist if this woman left him. "Well, on average Americans eat about 18 acres of pizza."

"With good reason," John remarked as Joss was growing quieter as they continued. "A bull can inseminate 300 cows on a single ejaculation."

"Now that's a big bang," she said with a giggle. John snorted with laughter. "Should I want to know how you knew that one?"

"I like knowing a little about everything," he said in defense of that factoid. When she didn't respond readily with one back he knew he was losing her to slumber. "We'll call it quits for now since you are falling asleep on me. But one of these days I'm sure we'll find out who is the winner."

"By then we'll be old and gray," she whispered.

John felt his throat tighten. "I hope so," he rasped. He felt her turn in his arms and she stared up at him. Sleep was in her eyes but so was a deep emotion. "I love you, Joss. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you."

"I love you too, John, and you don't have to worry about it because I'm right here," she said softly, though no less lovingly. "And I'm not going anywhere."

John pressed a gentle kiss to her hair. With that Joss fell asleep and John was helpless but to follow suit.

* * *

John awoke with a start and came face to face with sleepy but sexy eyes of Joss. She was awake and watching him sleep as she curled up by his side. She smiled, "Good morning…."

He made a sound as she bent down and kissed his lips and then moved back. "Good morning," he said sleepily. John shifted and curled an arm around her waist. "What time is it?"

"Seven-thirty, Taylor waits for no man to sleep in," she teased as she looked away and he followed her gaze to find Taylor, who was on his stomach, on top of his chest. He looked at her in surprise. "You're a perfect table. Plus Taylor wanted to say hi, but, you were still sleeping so this was the best compromise I could come up with, especially since even in sleep you somehow instinctively knew he was there and curled an arm around him so he could still roll and play but not fall." She barely left off that instinct seemed very paternal, and that he was acting more and more like a father to her son. "I was surprised when you didn't awaken when he batted your chin like three times."

"Do you have to go to work?" he asked as he let the little boy wiggle on his stomach. Taylor was so strong. Joss was doing everything right. Sooner rather than later this little boy would be onto his next milestone of sitting upright by his self and then crawling. He hoped he got to see them.

"No, because the Captain gave me and Fusco the day off since we worked long into the night last night." she admitted. "Harold already called to let me know that he finished what I asked for. He's rather efficient."

"Harold would do anything to help you. He's very pro-Joss in my life."

"So am I," she breathed and he looked to her. "We need to have a real conversation about us now that Snow has been taken care of. Everything was said before was with obstacles in the way. Now there isn't any."

John felt uneasiness bubble up in him. It was one thing thinking about a future but now faced with the fact that he could have one, with this amazing woman, left him feeling inadequate. She deserved so much better than him. "You make me want things that I didn't think were meant for me to have." he admitted gruffly.

"Can you honestly tell me that after everything you've been through that you don't deserve a second chance?" she questioned as she plucked her son off of John and cuddled him close to let John sit up.

After sitting up he reached out running a soft hand over Taylor's skin and laced his fingers with Joss's. "Did you survive and endure just to let life slip through your fingers?" she demanded when he said nothing.

"No," he answered honestly removing his gaze off Taylor to settle it on her. Her expression was unreadable. "I love you more than anything, Joss, but I don't know if I can give you what I know you want."

"There's no Paul or Elias, or Mark Snow and Kara Stanton to deal with. We can just be together, in love, for now."

"And when you want more?" he asked.

"You'll be ready for it."

John didn't respond because there wasn't much to say, Joss seemed sure of that. She said she wouldn't pressure him but also wouldn't apologize for pushing. This was her way of compromising; telling him that she expected a future together while giving him the time to get acquainted with having a life to live so he could have a future with her.

He cleared his throat. "Are you okay after what happened last night, Joss?" he asked, knowing he hadn't been able to see how she was emotionally. Taking someone's life, even Mark Snow's, was hard.

"I'm fine, John. I only wish we could have gotten Mark Snow in jail. I wanted him to rot in prison on death row knowing you were living your life and he could never touch you," she admitted.

"Now he's rotting in hell," he whispered. Joss narrowed her eyes on him and put her finger to his lips.

"If you are going to say: 'just like you will be', then I'm sorry but our future will be cut short because I'll have to kill you myself!" she retorted.

John smiled against her finger before opening his mouth to take her fingertip into his mouth and give it a gentle suck and then kiss. She pulled her hand away and he eyed her seriously. "You make me believe I can atone for my sins of my past, be someone different."

"I know you don't believe me when I say you're a good man but you are. Just keep being the man that you are and I know eventually you can see yourself as I see you."

He didn't respond but did seem to be mulling over what she said. She slid from bed and picked Taylor up. "I say we head downstairs and eat some breakfast. Maybe after we can take Taylor out for a walk, do something normal," she suggested.

Normal. He hadn't had normal for his entire adult life. The idea of it made him giddy to experience it.

"And maybe even you can tell me about your past, about Jessica, and stuff," she added as casually as she could.

John looked at her and tensed. Joss was watching him with gentle understanding. She was waiting for him to refuse. He wanted too. But to change meant to do things differently and do things out of his comfort zone. "Not about Jessica, not yet," he rasped gruffly. He wasn't ready to talk about her or why he really left her behind.

Joss nodded as she reached out to stroke his brow. "Of course," she murmured instantly. "And while we're at it I'll tell you everything about my past too." He looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "You know a good portion of it but not everything. But it's not fair of me to expect you to open up about your past and I don't reciprocate. John, I want you to know everything because I love you."

He leaned over and brushed her lips with his softly but no less sensually. He pulled back to meet her gaze. "Go get Taylor ready and I'll make us breakfast."

She smiled as she stole another kiss. "I'm happy to oblige," she agreed before sliding from bed and cooed at her son feeling John's adoring gaze on her backside. Joss felt content because the future, finally, was bright and within their grasp.

* * *

AN: There is only one chapter left! I do have other stories coming up but I'm iffy on one especially on what I want to happen. It's AU (what else is new LOL) but there is a few ways I can go with it and I'm so damned undecided on it :(

Anyways, thank you for reading.


	23. Chapter 23

In the two weeks since the showdown with Mark Snow had come and gone they had settled into a nice routine. John had finally met her mother. Her mama adored John and the feeling was mutual. John was a little awkward and stiff at the beginning but had loosened up as her mama poured on the maternal adoration. John had opened up more and more during the two weeks and had told her that his adoptive mother died when he was just twenty-one years old. His father died when he was just eleven, so John spent since then by himself. He never met Jessica's mother because she didn't even truly know about the relationship. Now she understood why Grace felt as though Jessica didn't deserve him.

They had taken Taylor to go meet Eddie, the doorman of Harold and Grace's place, who she promised to bring Taylor by to. But without needing to worry about every step they made it meant you could do things you were putting off. Only problem that she saw was that with each new day brought more restlessness in John, and she didn't know what to do about it. John still was debating on what he wanted to do with his life now that he didn't need to remain in the shadows. She and Harold both urged John to take his time. But with the restlessness came his itchy need to roam and then because he was on his feet too long he'd limp from his hip still bothering him. If only she could convince him to be a stay at home dad to Taylor. And make some babies with her in the future.

Joss smirked at that last thought. They sure were practicing a lot for it. And for her part she was on top since they finally made love six days ago. She made sure he was healed enough for them to make love which only served to heighten their need again. She sure wouldn't mind getting some loving tonight. Maybe she'd put on a show and get John in the mood.

Joss entered her place after a quiet day at work. It was a good thing that a homicide detective's day was boring, meant crime rates were falling. She stopped dead when a dog growled at her the instant she stepped into her own foyer. Oh, the dog was beautiful even as it appeared to be ready to tear her to pieces.

"Bear! Foei!" came John's voice from somewhere in the back of her house, most probably the kitchen. The dog immediately relaxed before turning and trotted off as if it owned the place. Joss arched a brow and watched as the dog laid down in a dog bed, to gnaw at a bone he must have been previously chewing on, near the playpen where her son was as if on guard. She stood watching the dog just as John came into view. He smiled as he walked over and pressed a kiss to her lips before heading over to Bear who was watching them still eyeing her as if she was an intruder. Joss wondered if the kiss was for her or to show the dog she wasn't an enemy.

"Bear, this is Joss. We love her. She's Taylor's mother." he spoke to the dog as though the dog could understand English and then said, "Joss, this is Bear."

Joss strode over to the dog that they were taking in and bent down to rub it's fur softly. Bear licked her hand as if trying to show no hard feelings. She smiled at the dog and it seemed they both relaxed with each other. "Does that mean I'm good?" she wondered teasingly.

"Bear likes you. He just didn't know if you were friend or foe at first." John admitted as they both straightened.

Joss eyed the dog and then looked to John. "So, we have a dog." she commented, though not angry at finding herself with one. She loved animals but especially dogs. And the fact that John was finding more things to make him happy aside from her and Taylor was welcoming.

"Yes, I found him."

"A stray." she murmured. Sad too, since the dog is beautiful. John probably had given the dog a bath too.

He shook his head. "No, he was with the Aryan Brotherhood and they didn't even know how to command the dog. They were just using him to scare people into doing their bidding. Bear didn't respect them and deserved better; so when they were busy I let myself in, commanded the dog to me and Bear came instantly, and we left."

Joss eyed him incredulously. "Wait. You stole the dog?!" she demanded.

He grinned at her. "If you'd like you could arrest me." he offered as he held his hands out in pure flirt.

She scowled at him. "Cute." she said not swayed by his flirtatious manner. "John you stole a dog from the Aryan Brotherhood! We just managed to do away with Mark Snow. We don't need a new threat trying to ruin our happiness."

"Joss, you wound me if you think they saw me. I waited until they left Bear alone and went in and took him," he said, sounding a tad annoyed. She refused to feel bad for questioning him. Just because he was a badass didn't mean that waltzing into an Aryan Brotherhood stronghold was a good idea! "Stealing Bear from the Aryan Brotherhood was the right thing to do. Belgian Malinois are highly intelligent and typically are used by the military. Bear knows Dutch commands meaning he was one of those military dogs. Probably his handler got mixed up with the Aryan Brotherhood and when he had no way to offer payment he gave up his dog," John explained himself. "Besides, they were calling him Butcher. He needed rescuing just from that," he added as he bent to rub Bear's head again.

They both straightened letting Bear gnaw on his bone in peace while guarding Taylor, who was happily playing in his playpen. She glanced at John not ready to drop the topic yet. "I'm happy we have a dog. I like Bear already. I'm just not happy how you went about getting Bear. John, I know you're seriously bored but walking headlong straight into danger isn't a way to deal with it. I love you and want that future we're beginning to build together to last a little longer than a few weeks."

"I wasn't."

"No?" she questioned as she arched a brow.

"No," he replied with a heavy sigh. "I just wanted to rescue Bear from them."

After a moment of studying him, she nodded. "Okay, I believe you," she murmured softly. Because she did, it sounded exactly like him. John rescued kids from bullies when he was a boy. He spent a long time in the Army and then the CIA because he wanted to help people. John had saved Harold's life. He then rescued her from Elias when he was a homeless man. So the fact that he wanted to rescue this dog was very much John like. Joss looked back down at the dog. "Welcome home, Bear." she said then looked at John again. "Clearly he loves Taylor already so he is more than a welcome addition to our family."

John looked suddenly a little dazed. Joss refused to stop softly pushing words like 'future', 'family', and such on him. He still would look wary but he was getting more used to it. He was getting used to his happiness not being torn from him. It was a day by day process for them because there were times she'd be afraid that it would be torn from her too. Or that she wouldn't be able to win the war with his demons that made him feel as though he wasn't good enough for her. But she trusted in what they felt and knew that they were forever.

Joss looped her arms around his neck and kissed his soft lips. She welcomed his warm tongue as her lips parted and let him deepen the kiss. She pulled back to whisper, "Feed me."

"I kind of have something else in mind." he murmured as his hands rested on her hips and their eyes met. She clearly saw the need sparkling in them. "We won't be gone long. Bear will gladly watch Taylor."

Joss arched a brow at his idea of letting a dog babysit her son. Either he was crazy or that desperate for her and she knew that he wasn't crazy. While she agreed that Bear was now a family member, and probably a very intelligent dog that was taught many things, that didn't mean she wanted their four legged addition watching Taylor.

"First food then we can make love." she purred as she stepped back. She nearly laughed at the sour look on his face. "I can smell that food in my kitchen. It smells delicious and a woman can't live on love and sex alone."

He smiled. "Don't tell that to Shaw. She seems to think sex makes the Earth orbit." he remarked watching her turn to reach down and pick up Taylor.

Taylor made the happiest noises as he saw her and his little legs flailed. Joss made faces and talked her son as she lifted him. Bear was immediately at attention and was watching with earnest eyes. She settled her son in her arm with his head against her shoulder and smiled down at Bear.

"Shaw's basking in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship…well her first relationship ever," she reassured. "It will pass and she'll be all about her steaks again soon."

"You mean like ours did?" he commented as he and Bear led the way into the kitchen.

Joss snorted. They hadn't exited the honeymoon phase and she, for one, hoped they never did. She liked John losing his control around her because it made her feel better over the fact that she could get wet simply looking at him. "No, we're still very much in that phase. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to pass."

"And what makes you think Shaw and Root won't be as lucky as we are?"

"Wishful thinking," she supplied, making him laugh. "Or I might not be held accountable for duct-taping that little sex fiend's mouth shut," Joss retorted. After that they let the topic of Shaw fade away as they talked, fawned over Taylor like he was a little king, enjoyed another round of their trivia quiz, and had a luxurious meal. John really was a good cook.

Taylor, being four months old now, enjoyed his pureed vegetables and able to keep his head upright so he was able to sit in his high-chair. He was growing so fast and she couldn't believe that only four months ago she gave birth to this beautiful little guy. Her eyes slid from her perfect son to the man that had been there for her during the most terrifying moment in her life…when they said that she could be losing Taylor. She couldn't even think of how her life was before she met John. It had been so utterly lonely. Not anymore. Sure, they had their share of shit but finally they got to just be together.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as he leaned back and sipped his wine.

"Just that my life was lonely before I met you." she admitted honestly.

His eyes didn't change. "I think we both know that my life didn't mean much before I met you."

"I don't agree with that," she countered and he eyed her in surprise. "Your life sucked without me as much as mine did without you; but your life meant something, you just thought it didn't until our paths crossed, and you found something that reconnected you to the world," she remarked gently. "And now you're trying to get used to the fact that you have a life to live."

"I still don't know what to do with myself."

"And that's okay, John. You don't have to have everything figured out. You can just be. I don't think you've ever had a point in your life where you could just be; just be in love, just be a man, just be yourself, and I want to offer you that. I want to offer you a chance to just be you, John, because I love him."

John sat forward and reached over the table to grab her hand with his. "What can I offer you, Joss?"

"Simple. Give me the kind of love I've always dreamt of as a little girl. I want the real kind of love where we are partners in life. Where we are each other's best friend and no matter how angry we get at each other, at night we don't go to bed angry because we take the time beforehand to talk it out. I want honesty and truth, that's all."

He linked their fingers together. "That I can give," he promised softly.

Joss smiled. "I know you can," she agreed. "Plus, I want our sex life to remain healthy as it is now and to win our trivia quiz."

"Sex, yes. The trivia quiz I have no intentions of losing," he responded lowly, teasing.

She laughed. "Oh, cute, you think you have a bigger useless knowledge bank than I do. I read books as a kid…for fun."

"So did I," he teased back. "An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain."

"Oh we doing it now?—you should have waited because I'm fueled up from that yummy dinner. Okay, big shot, try this on for size; Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy. I know that because Donald Duck is my favorite Disney character."

"Mine are the chipmunks. Did you know that the 's' in Harry S. Truman wasn't the initial for a name but rather just a 's'?"

"Not really. But the mask worn by Michael Myers in the original _Halloween_ was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white and altered."

"Movie buff, eh?" John teased. She shrugged in response. "Most common regulation golf balls have 336 dimples on them."

"On average 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year," Joss said and then laughed at his blink. "I swear I'm not making it up."

"Crows hold grudges so don't piss one off because it will remember."

"Shaq only made one 3-pointer in his entire career," she said, using her ace in the hole to win this round.

"You're so hot knowing that," John said roughly.

She grinned as she stood but didn't release his hand and he stood too. Taylor sat in his high-chair and he pulled her to him and they danced to nothing but the sound of their love.

* * *

AN: Okay this is it for this story. I do have three more coming but will be taking a little time unless you guys don't mind works in progress.

Thank you for reading and bearing with me this whole journey of a story.


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